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Question: The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is believed that, improving the quality of life should be considered as the a priority of science. I contend that, while mainly this statement is justifiable, to some extent, all progress in science should not necessarily take place to favorfavour people's lives. On the one hand, scientific progress could initially follow different aspects. Regardless of its goal for human's comfort, science could definitely follow other aspects such as merely satisfying researcherresearchers's curiosity about the unknown. Many of research and explorations in different fields of science are being conducted in order to obtainingobtain more information about things whichthat are not completely discovered. One of the brilliant examples of this, is many space explorations which have not had any significant impact on the quality of life. These explorations are primarily done to acquire more in-depth insight oninto things that humans have not had much material about. However, noteworthy is that they may not have any intentional goal to affect life on earthEarth, but several of them are beneficial indirectly; take the satellites for instance, which are a relief for anticipating weather. Hence, I believe that, most of scientific projects and developments should be initially conducted with the aim of bringing comfort forto human- beings. The reasons are twofold. First of all, making an effort to bring sustainability to society will ultimately benefitsbenefit science in return. With a society whichthat does not have any struggle for maintaining the stability and everything havehas been prepared for a good quality of life, governments are able to put more focus and attention foron scientific developments. Further, it is a necessity to eliminate problems which are that exist in the world which sometimes pose a risk forto human existence. From the past up to now, scientists have attempted to eliminate difficulties in communities so that people enjoy thea better quality of life. For example, all of researchers who have made an effort in history to find curecures for ailments that were risks forto human life. In conclusion, while it might seem that not all progress in science areis in favour of humans, , I believe , their ultimate goal is to bring comfort to us.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is believed that, improving the quality of life should be considered as the priority of science. I contend that, while mainly this statement is justifiable, to some extent, all progress in science should not necessarily take place to favor people's lives.
It is believed that improving the quality of life should be considered a priority of science. I contend that, while this statement is largely justifiable, not all progress in science necessarily aims to benefit people's lives.
On the one hand, scientific progress could initially follow different aspects. Regardless of its goal for human's comfort, science could definitely follow other aspects such as merely satisfying researcher's curiosity about unknown. Many of research and explorations in different fields of science are being conducted in order to obtaining more information about things which are not completely discovered. One of the brilliant examples of this, is many space explorations which have not had any significant impact on the quality of life. These explorations are primarily done to acquire more in-depth insight on things that humans have not had much material about. However, noteworthy is that they may not have any intentional goal to affect life on earth, but several of them are beneficial indirectly; take the satellites for instance, which are a relief for anticipating weather.
On the one hand, scientific progress can initially follow different paths. Regardless of its goal for human comfort, science often pursues other aspects, such as satisfying researchers' curiosity about the unknown. Many studies and explorations in various fields of science are conducted to obtain more information about phenomena that remain incompletely understood. A brilliant example of this is space exploration, which has not had any significant impact on the quality of life. These explorations are primarily undertaken to gain deeper insights into subjects about which humans have limited knowledge. However, it is noteworthy that, although they may not have an intentional goal to affect life on Earth, many of these endeavors yield indirect benefits; for instance, satellites have proven invaluable for weather forecasting.
Hence, I believe that, most of scientific projects and developments should be initially conducted with the aim of bringing comfort for human-beings. The reasons are twofold. First of all, making effort to bring sustainability to society will ultimately benefits science in return. With a society which does not have any struggle for maintaining the stability and everything have been prepared for a good quality of life, governments are able to put more focus and attention for scientific developments. Further, it is a necessity to eliminate problems which are exist in world which sometimes pose a risk for human existence. From the past up to now, scientists have attempted to eliminate difficulties in communities so that people enjoy the better quality of life. For example, all of researchers who have made effort in history to find cure for ailments that were risks for human life.
Therefore, I believe that most scientific projects and developments should primarily aim to enhance human well-being. The reasons for this are twofold. First, efforts to bring sustainability to society will ultimately benefit science in return. In a society that does not struggle to maintain stability and where conditions are conducive to a good quality of life, governments can focus more on scientific advancements. Furthermore, it is essential to address existing global problems that sometimes pose risks to human existence. Historically, scientists have endeavored to alleviate challenges within communities to ensure that people enjoy a better quality of life. For example, researchers throughout history have worked tirelessly to find cures for diseases that threaten human life.
In conclusion, while it might seem that not all progress in science are in favour of humans ,I believe , their ultimate goal is to bring comfort to us.
In conclusion, while it may seem that not all progress in science is in favor of humanity, I believe that the ultimate goal of scientific inquiry is to enhance our comfort and well-being.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Response

Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the aim of science. You provide a clear position, stating that while the primary aim of science should be to improve people's lives, not all scientific progress needs to directly favor human life. However, your conclusion could be more explicit in summarizing your main points and reinforcing your stance. Additionally, consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument, particularly in the second paragraph where you discuss the indirect benefits of scientific exploration.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You use linking words and phrases effectively to connect ideas, such as "on the one hand," "hence," and "for example." However, some sentences could be more concise to improve clarity. For instance, the sentence "Regardless of its goal for human's comfort, science could definitely follow other aspects such as merely satisfying researcher's curiosity about unknown" could be rephrased for better readability.

Lexical Resource

Your vocabulary is appropriate for the task, and you use a range of expressions to convey your ideas. However, there are some awkward phrases and word choices that could be improved. For example, "human's comfort" should be "human comfort," and "all of researchers" should be "all researchers." Additionally, consider varying your vocabulary further to avoid repetition, such as using synonyms for "improve" and "comfort."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that need attention. For example, "Many of research and explorations" should be "Many research projects and explorations," and "which are exist in world" should be "which exist in the world." Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to enhance grammatical accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify and Strengthen Examples: Provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly in the discussion of indirect benefits of scientific exploration.
  2. Improve Conclusion: Make your conclusion more explicit by summarizing the main points and reinforcing your stance clearly.
  3. Enhance Clarity: Rephrase complex sentences for better readability and ensure each sentence contributes clearly to your argument.
  4. Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and improve lexical resource.
  5. Focus on Grammar: Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage.

Overall, your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, but addressing these areas will help improve clarity and coherence.