Question: The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.
To what extent do...
Marking Generated by Free AI Models
You are on the free tier, which uses free AI models. They can occasionally be slow, unstable, or temporarily unavailable. Balang Plus uses premium models for faster, more reliable, and higher-quality marking.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Science has played an integral role in shaping the modern world and solving serious problems faced by human beings. There is a notable briefbelief that the most pivotal purpose of science is to enhance individuals' lives. I strongly agree with this view, as scientific discoveries have significantly improved the quality of life and spurred technological progressionsadvancements that address global issues.
One of the key measures of science is to advance the quality of citizens' lives. This means that scientific endeavours can make daily living easier and more comfortable, especially in fields like healthcare, technology, and communication. One primary example is the invention of antibiotics, which has undoubtedly reduced mortality rates and saved millions of lives. Furthermore, people's interactions can be influenced by the progressionadvancement of technology in communication such as the Internet, which allows access to instant information and enhances societal welfare.
In addition to improving the quality of the citizenscitizens' lives, the discovery of science is essential in terms of technological progress. ScienceScientific breakthroughs like renewable energy, have increasingly impacted a better life. For instance, the innovation of solar energy has essentially decreased the use of fossil fuels as well as fulfilled energy demands worldwide. Similarly, the introduction of electric vehicles has contributed to alleviating climate change, benefiting from goodbetter air quality and a betterhealthier environment.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that improving people's lives is the most important aim of science. From enhancing the quality of everyday challenges through medical innovations to advancing technological progress that tackles obstacles globally, science has ensured individuals' lives. Therefore, scientific advancements should be the priority to address problems all around the world.
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.
Feedback
Task Achievement
Response to the Prompt: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that agrees with the statement that the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. The argument is supported with relevant examples, such as the invention of antibiotics and renewable energy technologies.
Development of Ideas: The essay provides a logical progression of ideas, explaining how scientific advancements in healthcare, technology, and renewable energy contribute to improving people's lives. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of how these advancements specifically impact different aspects of life, such as economic, social, and environmental factors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of how science improves lives, which aids in maintaining coherence.
Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, with transitions such as "One of the key measures," "Furthermore," and "In addition to" helping to guide the reader through the argument. However, the essay could improve by varying the use of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "integral role," "pivotal purpose," "mortality rates," and "renewable energy." However, there is some repetition of words and phrases, such as "improving people's lives," which could be varied to show a wider lexical range.
Precision and Appropriateness: Most vocabulary is used accurately, but there are minor errors, such as "notable brief" which should be "notable belief."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence Structures: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, which demonstrates a good command of grammar.
Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few grammatical errors, such as "individuals lives" which should be "individuals' lives." Additionally, some sentences could be more concise to improve clarity.
Suggestions for Improvement
Expand on Examples: Provide more detailed examples and explanations of how scientific advancements impact various aspects of life, such as economic growth, social well-being, and environmental sustainability.
Vary Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more extensive lexical resource.
Refine Grammar: Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure possessive forms are correctly used.
Enhance Cohesion: Use a greater variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow and connection between ideas.
Overall, the essay presents a clear and well-supported argument, but it could be strengthened by expanding on examples, varying vocabulary, and refining grammatical accuracy.