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Question: The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do...

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Some people believe that the optimal goal of scientific workswork should be to enhance the quality of people's lives. While scientists should try to developedevelop their knowledge in scientific subjects, I agree with the idea that it is most crucial to make improvmentsimprovements in our lives. On the one hand, it is vital for scientistscientists to aquireacquire more information about their area of specialization. One of their purposes can be expanding the knowledge they already have by doing more research and experimentexperiments. Finding new discoveries will change the periviousprevious false information and contribute to gaingaining a better understanding of the world, humans, and many other various unknown issues. For example, the information about the space has changed throughout human existanceexistence, and now we have more knowledge about planets, stars, and their characteristics. However, I believe enhancing people's lives is an essencialessential aim for scientistscientists. One of the main aspects that should be improved is health problems. Scientific experiments should be done on viruses or other causes of illnesses in order to discover more effective medicine, so rapid recovery can be possible for patients. AdditionalyAdditionally, creating new machines for assisting doctors, operating in the safest way is crucial. For example, recently doctors are provided with the assisstanceassistance of robots for doing delicate operations. By doing these measures, risks to human's health will be reduced. Furthuremore Furthermore, preserving the environment is important for us and even for the next generations. Scientific experiments can be done on fossil fuels for making them less harmful for humans. They can also can find better ways of utilizingutilising renewable sources of energy like solar, wind, and water power. This leadesleads to a healthier air and cleaner water in our environment, which can maintain our health condition and plant for many years from now tointo the future. In conclusion, scientists should work on obtaining new information about the science itselfeitself, while keeping the improvement of people's lives their most important aim.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
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Some people believe that the optimal goal of scientific works should be to enhance the quality of people's lives. While scientists should try to develope their knowledge in scientific subjects, I agree with the idea that it is most crucial to make improvments in our lives.
Some people believe that the primary goal of scientific work should be to enhance the quality of people's lives. While it is essential for scientists to develop their knowledge in their respective fields, I agree that the most crucial objective should be to improve our lives.
On the one hand, it is vital for scientist to aquire more information about their area of specialization. One of their purposes can be expanding the knowledge they already have by doing more research and experiment. Finding new discoveries will change the perivious false information and contribute to gain a better understanding of the world, humans, and many other various unknown issues. For example, the information about the space has changed throughout human existance, and now we have more knowledge about planets, stars, and their characteristics.
On the one hand, it is vital for scientists to acquire more information about their areas of specialization. One of their purposes can be to expand the knowledge they already possess through further research and experimentation. Discovering new information can correct previous misconceptions and contribute to a better understanding of the world, humanity, and various other unknown issues. For example, our understanding of space has evolved throughout human existence, and we now have greater knowledge about planets, stars, and their characteristics.
However, I believe enhancing people's lives is an essencial aim for scientist. One of the main aspects that should be improved is health problems. Scientific experiments should be done on viruses or other causes of illnesses in order to discover more effective medicine, so rapid recovery can be possible for patients. Additionaly, creating new machines for assisting doctors, operating in the safest way is crucial. For example, recently doctors are provided with the assisstance of robots for doing delicate operations. By doing these measures, risks to human's health will be reduced.
However, I believe that enhancing people's lives is an essential aim for scientists. One of the main aspects that should be improved is health. Scientific research should focus on viruses and other causes of illnesses to develop more effective medicines, enabling rapid recovery for patients. Additionally, creating new machines to assist doctors in performing surgeries safely is crucial. For instance, doctors are now aided by robots in delicate operations. By implementing these measures, the risks to human health can be significantly reduced.
Furthuremore, preserving the environment is important for us and even for the next generations. Scientific experiments can be done on fossil fuels for making them less harmful for humans. They also can find better ways of utilizing renewable sources of energy like solar, wind, and water power. This leades to a healthier air and cleaner water in our environment, which can maintain our health condition and plant for many years from now to future.
Furthermore, preserving the environment is important not only for us but also for future generations. Scientific research can be conducted on fossil fuels to make them less harmful to humans. Scientists can also discover better ways to utilize renewable energy sources such as solar, wind, and hydro power. This leads to cleaner air and water in our environment, which can help maintain our health and that of the planet for many years to come.
In conclusion, scientists should work on obtaining new information about the science itselfe, while keeping the improvement of people's lives their most important aim.
In conclusion, while scientists should strive to obtain new information about science itself, they must prioritize the improvement of people's lives as their most important goal.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
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Linking Words
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Grammar Range
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Cohesion
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Task Response
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Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the importance of science in improving people's lives. It presents a clear position, agreeing with the statement that the primary aim of science should be to enhance the quality of life. The response provides relevant examples, such as advancements in health and environmental preservation, to support the argument. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion by acknowledging other potential aims of science, such as pure knowledge acquisition or technological advancement, and explaining why these are secondary to improving human life.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of linking words and phrases, such as "on the one hand," "however," and "furthermore," helps to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing health improvements to environmental preservation could be more clearly connected to the overarching theme of improving human life.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of terms related to science and health, such as "viruses," "medicine," "renewable sources of energy," and "fossil fuels." There are some spelling errors, such as "develope" (develop), "aquire" (acquire), "perivious" (previous), "essencial" (essential), "Additionaly" (Additionally), "assisstance" (assistance), "Furthuremore" (Furthermore), "leades" (leads), and "itselfe" (itself), which should be corrected to improve the overall lexical accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay generally uses a range of grammatical structures accurately, including complex sentences and passive constructions. However, there are some grammatical errors that need attention, such as subject-verb agreement ("scientist" should be "scientists") and article usage ("the information about the space" should be "information about space"). Additionally, some sentences could be rephrased for clarity and conciseness.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Task Response: Consider discussing other potential aims of science and why they might be secondary to improving human life.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ensure smoother transitions between ideas and maintain a clear connection to the main argument.
  3. Lexical Resource: Correct spelling errors and consider using synonyms to avoid repetition.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure for clarity.

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument with relevant examples but could benefit from addressing counterarguments and improving language accuracy.