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Question: The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do...

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Some people argue that the primary goal of scientific work should be enhancing the quality of people's lives. While improving human well-being is considerable, I disagree with the idea that it should be the most essential aim. Scientific innovations can affect people's health conditions significantly. Improving human wellfarewelfare by makingcreating new medicines, better healthcare systemsystems, and treatments to defeatedefeat many harmful illnesses. When people consume these products, the possibility of getting sick declines, and therefore, the public health will improve. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, scientists saved many lives by discovering the crucial vaccine to alliviatealleviate this detrimental disease. Moreover, thechnologytechnology has become an essential part of our lives and made it easier by providing substantial opportunities, namely the Internet, which has made communicating with others faster through online applications. However, I believe that science's boarders borders should not be limited to merely human lives. Science can be used for expanding our general knowledge about life and the world around us because there are nomorousnumerous questions remaining without any suitable answer toanswers for us. Finding new discoveries allows us to find answers forto these questions. For instance, space exploration has been a debate throughout history, and now we have more information about many planets, such as Mars or Venus, likeincluding the way they turn around orbit the sun. These discoveries can expand morefurther as time passes, and more scientists do researchsconduct research and experiments. In conclusion, science plays a significant role in improving people's lifelives by offering new medication to improveenhance their health conditions, but science should pursue more fundamental goals for expanding our understanding of our world.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some people argue that the primary goal of scientific work should be enhancing the quality of people's lives. While improving human well-being is considerable, I disagree with the idea that it should be the most essential aim.
Some people argue that the primary goal of scientific work should be to enhance the quality of people's lives. While improving human well-being is indeed important, I disagree with the notion that it should be the most essential aim of scientific endeavors.
Scientific innovations can affect people's health conditions significantly. Improving human wellfare by making new medicines, better healthcare system, and treatments to defeate many harmful illnesses. When people consume these products, the possibility of getting sick declines, and therefore, the public health will improve. For example, during COVID-19 pandemic, scientists saved many lives by discovering the crucial vaccine to alliviate this detrimental disease. Moreover, thechnology has become an essential part of our lives and made it easier by providing substantial opportunities, namely the Internet, which made communicating with others faster through online applications.
Scientific innovations can significantly impact people's health conditions. Enhancing human welfare through the development of new medicines, better healthcare systems, and treatments to combat harmful illnesses is crucial. When people have access to these advancements, the likelihood of falling ill decreases, thereby improving public health. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, scientists saved countless lives by discovering crucial vaccines to alleviate the effects of this detrimental disease. Moreover, technology has become an integral part of our lives, providing substantial opportunities, such as the Internet, which has revolutionized communication through online applications.
However, I believe that science boarders should not be limited to merely human lives. Science can be used for expanding our general knowledge about life and the world around us because there are nomorous questions remaining without any suitable answer to us. Finding new discoveries allows us to find answers for these questions. For instance, space exploration has been a debate throughout history, and now we have more information about many planets, such as Mars or Venus, like the way they turn around the sun. These discoveries can expand more as time passes, and more scientists do researchs and experiments.
However, I believe that the scope of science should not be limited to merely improving human lives. Science can also be used to expand our general knowledge about life and the world around us, as there are numerous questions that remain unanswered. Pursuing new discoveries allows us to address these questions. For instance, space exploration has been a topic of debate throughout history, and we now possess more information about various planets, such as Mars and Venus, including their orbits around the sun. These discoveries can continue to expand as time progresses and more scientists conduct research and experiments.
In conclusion, science plays a significant role in improving people's life by offering new medication to improve their health conditions, but science should pursue more fundamental goals for expanding our understanding of our world.
In conclusion, while science plays a significant role in improving people's lives by offering new medications and enhancing health conditions, it should also pursue broader goals aimed at expanding our understanding of the world.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the aim of science. It presents a clear stance, disagreeing with the notion that improving people's lives should be the most important aim of science.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay provides relevant examples, such as the development of the COVID-19 vaccine and space exploration, to support its arguments. However, the explanation of how these examples relate to the main argument could be more detailed.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.
  • Cohesion: Transition words and phrases (e.g., "for example," "moreover," "however") are used to connect ideas, but some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing health improvements to broader scientific exploration could be more seamless.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to science and its impact on human life. However, there are some spelling errors (e.g., "welfare" instead of "wellfare," "defeat" instead of "defeate," "alleviate" instead of "alliviate," "technology" instead of "thechnology," "numerous" instead of "nomorous," "researches" instead of "researchs").
  • Word Choice: Some word choices could be more precise. For example, "science boarders" should be "the scope of science."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, which enhances readability. However, some sentences are awkwardly constructed and could be clearer.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("science boarders should not be limited" should be "the scope of science should not be limited") and missing articles ("a better healthcare system" instead of "better healthcare system").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify and Expand Ideas: Provide more detailed explanations of how the examples support the main argument. This will strengthen the essay's persuasiveness.
  2. Improve Transitions: Work on making transitions between ideas smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
  3. Correct Spelling and Grammar: Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading the essay can help catch these mistakes.
  4. Enhance Vocabulary Precision: Use more precise vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively and avoid repetition.

By addressing these areas, the essay can better meet the IELTS writing criteria and present a more compelling argument.