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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Some people argue that advertisements have become so pervasive that they no longer catch people’s attention, while others believe that advertising still influences consumers’ purchasing decisions. In my opinion, although people often ignore ads, they are still likely to buy products they have seen before, making advertisements effective overall. On the one hand, people are exposed to a vast number of advertisements daily, leading them to develop an unconscious ability to ignore them. Pop-ups, auto-play videos, banners, and other types of advertisementsads appear regularly, but consumers often close them as quickly as possible without even glancing at them. Advertisers attempt to counter this by making their ads blend in with regular content, but over time, consumers learn to recognizerecognise them. For example, many advertisements on Instagram appear as regular posts, but due to their sheer frequency, users can easily identify them as sponsored content. On the other hand, advertising remains effective because companies use various marketing techniques to persuade consumers. Businesses offer discounts, coupons, and special promotions to attract buyers, even when the differences between new and old products are minimal. For instance, Apple frequently emails customers about the latest iPhone, offering exclusive deals and incentives, which ultimately persuades many people to upgrade their devices even if they do not need a new phone. In conclusion, although advertisements are not as effective as they once were, they still influence consumer behaviorbehaviour through strategic marketing methods. Therefore, advertising continues to play a crucial role in shaping purchasing decisions.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some people argue that advertisements have become so pervasive that they no longer catch people’s attention, while others believe that advertising still influences consumers’ purchasing decisions. In my opinion, although people often ignore ads, they are still likely to buy products they have seen before, making advertisements effective overall.
Some people argue that advertisements have become so pervasive that they no longer capture attention, while others maintain that advertising still significantly influences consumers' purchasing decisions. In my view, although people often disregard ads, they remain more likely to purchase products they have encountered before, demonstrating advertising's continued effectiveness.
On the one hand, people are exposed to a vast number of advertisements daily, leading them to develop an unconscious ability to ignore them. Pop-ups, auto-play videos, banners, and other types of advertisements appear regularly, but consumers often close them as quickly as possible without even glancing at them. Advertisers attempt to counter this by making their ads blend in with regular content, but over time, consumers learn to recognize them. For example, many advertisements on Instagram appear as regular posts, but due to their sheer frequency, users can easily identify them as sponsored content.
On the one hand, constant exposure to advertisements has led consumers to develop a subconscious ability to ignore them. Pop-ups, auto-play videos, and banners appear incessantly, yet users frequently dismiss them without a second glance. Advertisers attempt to circumvent this by disguising ads as organic content, but consumers eventually recognize these tactics. For example, Instagram advertisements often mimic regular posts, yet their sheer volume enables users to quickly identify them as sponsored content.
On the other hand, advertising remains effective because companies use various marketing techniques to persuade consumers. Businesses offer discounts, coupons, and special promotions to attract buyers, even when the differences between new and old products are minimal. For instance, Apple frequently emails customers about the latest iPhone, offering exclusive deals and incentives, which ultimately persuades many people to upgrade their devices even if they do not need a new phone.
On the other hand, advertising retains its effectiveness through sophisticated marketing strategies. Companies employ discounts, limited-time offers, and psychological triggers to sway consumer behavior. Apple, for instance, regularly emails customers about new iPhone releases, emphasizing exclusive upgrades and trade-in deals, which convinces many to purchase unnecessary replacements despite minimal technological advancements.
In conclusion, although advertisements are not as effective as they once were, they still influence consumer behavior through strategic marketing methods. Therefore, advertising continues to play a crucial role in shaping purchasing decisions.
In conclusion, while advertisements may not command attention as readily as before, they continue to shape consumer choices through targeted marketing approaches. Thus, advertising remains an indispensable tool in influencing purchasing decisions.
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Overall Band Score
7.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
strong
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
strong
Grammar Range
strong
Cohesion
strong
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
insufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. The arguments are relevant and supported with examples (e.g., Instagram ads, Apple promotions). However, the response is slightly under the 250-word minimum (247 words), which could affect scoring. To improve, expand on one of the supporting points (e.g., more detail on how consumers ignore ads or how promotions influence purchases).

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing—introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitions between ideas are smooth (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand"). However, some sentences could be more tightly linked. For example, the second body paragraph could start with a stronger contrast phrase like "Despite this tendency to ignore ads..." to reinforce the opposing view.

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is appropriate and varied (e.g., "pervasive," "unconscious ability," "strategic marketing methods"). Some phrases could be more precise—for instance, "vast number of advertisements" could be "overwhelming volume of advertisements" for greater impact. Avoid minor repetition (e.g., "advertisements" appears frequently; consider synonyms like "marketing campaigns" or "promotions").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Grammar is mostly accurate, with a mix of complex and simple structures. A few areas could be refined:

  • "Businesses offer discounts, coupons, and special promotions to attract buyers, even when the differences between new and old products are minimal." → This could be clearer: "Businesses lure buyers with discounts and promotions, even when product upgrades are insignificant."
  • "Advertisers attempt to counter this by making their ads blend in with regular content, but over time, consumers learn to recognize them." → Consider: "Advertisers try to disguise ads as organic content, yet consumers eventually discern them."

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Increase word count: Add another example or expand on the psychological effects of ads (e.g., subconscious influence).
  2. Sharper topic sentences: Make the central idea of each paragraph more distinct.
  3. More nuanced vocabulary: Replace repeated terms with synonyms to enhance lexical variety.

Overall, this is a strong response but would benefit from slight refinements in cohesion, lexical range, and elaboration to meet the word requirement fully.