This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Nowadays, there is a controversial discussion among authorities whether a competetive or a cooperative environment is most effective. While the first group argues that encountering to a competitive environment would be more beneficial, The other group argues that cooperation between members in different communities contribute to more benefits. In this essay I will discuss both mindsets and in my opinion, the latter group reasoning is more justifiable.
Nowadays, there is a controversial discussion among authorities regarding whether a competitive or a cooperative environment is more effective. While the former group argues that exposure to a competitive environment is more beneficial, the latter group contends that cooperation among members of different communities leads to greater advantages. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives, and in my opinion, the reasoning of the latter group is more justifiable.
On the one hand, some argue that competition is essential for progress. The chief reason of their claim is that it is closely assosiated with personal growth. When people are being exposed in situations that needs them to compete with their counterparts, they are encouraged to nurture their skills to exceeds their rivals. For example, in school environment, the grade educational system triggers students to study harder to get the best scores. As the resut, their knowledge and skills in academic subjects will be better. The same occures in the workplace, when colleagues compete each other and gain more competencies in their field to obtain the promotion.
On the one hand, some argue that competition is essential for progress. The chief reason for their claim is that it is closely associated with personal growth. When individuals are placed in situations that require them to compete with their peers, they are encouraged to develop their skills to surpass their rivals. For example, in a school environment, the graded educational system motivates students to study harder in order to achieve the best scores. As a result, their knowledge and skills in academic subjects improve. The same occurs in the workplace, where colleagues compete with one another and enhance their competencies in their fields to secure promotions.
Hence, Others, including myself, argue that cooperative environment would be worthwhile in terms of personal growth and also favour the organisation profits. Their reasons are twofold. First and foremost, providing a cooperative situation causes motivation. For all individuals working or studying in an environment when there is no rat race to prove themselves, provides a sense of calmness which stimulate them to flourish themselves and have an effective performance. Moreover, In this situation, people can learn more from each other. People in an organisation for instance, can share whatever they know, correct each others mistake, and use others experiences, all to reach the ultimate goal of the organisation.
On the other hand, others, including myself, argue that a cooperative environment is more beneficial for personal growth and also favors organizational profits. Their reasons are twofold. First and foremost, a cooperative situation fosters motivation. Individuals working or studying in an environment without a rat race to prove themselves experience a sense of calmness, which stimulates them to flourish and perform effectively. Moreover, in such an environment, people can learn more from one another. For instance, individuals in an organization can share their knowledge, correct each other's mistakes, and utilize each other's experiences, all in pursuit of the organization's ultimate goal.
In conclusion, while the competition, as the former group believe, would be of some benefits, I believe the advantages result from cooperation are more significant.
In conclusion, while competition, as the former group believes, may offer some benefits, I contend that the advantages derived from cooperation are far more significant.