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Question: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. W...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
People in some countries prefer to have their own home rather than renting one. thisThis can be so important to them, and I think this certainly is a positive trend for a range of reasons I would argue below. On the one hand, having a private home is a critical problem in some countries for some important reasons. Firstly, people who own a home can live more easily live in those countries, because homehousing is one of the significant problems in some countries. In my country, Iran, for example, youngthe younger generation havehas to pay a large amount of money for just owningto own a small apartment. Secondly, many people prefer to have their own home, foras the price of homehomes increases significantly in some countries evertevery year; therefore, they invest onin their home to insuresecure everything they own. In Iran, for example, the price of land and homehomes experiences a significant change from year to year. Finally, owingowning a home gives people a chance to live in their cities for years without transferingtransferring their furniture; by contrast, bywhen renting a home, people have to carrymove their furniture whenever they want to change their homeresidence. On the other hand, I think owning a home is certainly a positive situation. peoplePeople who own a home, can easily spend money foron the maintenance or fixingrepair of their home, like such as painting walls or fixing the air conditioner. If people own a home, anything they spend belongs to their private them and owing hometheir property; by contrast, anything is spent on renting a home belongs to the person who owns the home. Furthermore, owingowning a home causeallows people to gain from the benefits. For example, bank loans are often are given to people who can provide a valuable document like thedocuments, such as home documentownership papers. In conclusion, owingowning a private home or apartment is sovery important in some countries for the reasons argued above. I think it's better to have our own home. It would be pleasant if people had their own private home.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
People in some countries prefer to have their own home rather than renting one. this can be so important to them, and I think this certainly is a positive trend for a range of reasons I would argue below.
People in some countries prefer to own their homes rather than rent them. This preference is highly significant, and I believe it represents a positive trend for several reasons which I will discuss below.
On the one hand, having private home is a critical problem in some countries for some important reasons. Firstly, people who own a home can easily live in those countries, because home is one of the significant problems in some countries. In my country Iran, for example, young generation have to pay a large amount of money for just owning a small apartment. Secondly, many people prefer to have their own home, for the price of home increases significantly in some countries evert year; therefore, they invest on their home to insure everything they own. In Iran, for example, the price of land and home experiences a significant change from year to year. Finally, owing a home gives people a chance to live in their cities for years without transfering their furniture; by contrast, by renting home, people have to carry their furniture whenever they want to change their home.
On one hand, home ownership presents challenges in some nations for important reasons. Firstly, acquiring property is difficult in certain countries where housing is scarce. In my country, Iran, for instance, young people must pay exorbitant prices for even small apartments. Secondly, many choose to buy property because housing prices increase dramatically each year; consequently, they invest in real estate to secure their assets. In Iran, for example, land and property values fluctuate considerably annually. Finally, home ownership provides stability, allowing people to reside in the same location for years without relocating their possessions, whereas renters must move their belongings whenever they change residences.
On the other hand, I think owning a home is certainly a positive situation. people who own a home, can easily spend money for the maintenance or fixing their home like painting walls or fixing the air conditioner. If people own a home, anything they spend belongs to their private and owing home; by contrast, anything is spent on renting home belongs to the person who owns the home. Furthermore, owing a home cause to gain from the benefits. For example, bank loans often are given to people who can provide a valuable document like the home document.
On the other hand, I consider home ownership to be undoubtedly advantageous. Homeowners can freely invest in maintenance and improvements, such as repainting walls or repairing air conditioning systems. Any expenditure on an owned property becomes a personal investment, unlike rental payments which benefit the landlord. Moreover, property ownership offers financial benefits. For example, banks typically grant loans more readily to those who can provide substantial collateral like property deeds.
In conclusion, owing a private home or apartment is so important in some countries for reasons argued above. I think it's better to have our own home. It would be pleasant if people had their private home.
In conclusion, owning a home is crucial in some countries for the aforementioned reasons. I firmly believe that home ownership is preferable. It would be ideal if everyone could possess their own property.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses the prompt and presents reasons why homeownership is important in some countries, as well as the writer's opinion on whether this is positive or negative. However, the response could be more balanced by acknowledging potential drawbacks of homeownership (e.g., financial burden, lack of flexibility) before concluding that it is a positive trend. Some points are repetitive (e.g., Iran’s housing market is mentioned twice), and the argument could be strengthened with more varied examples or data.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased (e.g., "this can be so important to them") and could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the second body paragraph jumps between reasons why homeownership is important and why it is positive without clear separation. Using linking words (e.g., "Moreover," "However," "In contrast") would improve flow.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive (e.g., "significant," "important," "owning a home"). More varied word choices (e.g., "investment," "stability," "financial security") would enhance the essay. There are also grammatical errors in word forms (e.g., "transfering" should be "transferring," "owing" should be "owning"). Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "cause to gain from the benefits").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
There are several grammatical errors, including:

  • Subject-verb agreement issues ("this can be so important to them" → "this is very important for them").
  • Incorrect word forms ("transfering" → "transferring," "owing" → "owning").
  • Missing articles ("having private home" → "having a private home").
  • Awkward phrasing ("anything is spent on renting home belongs to the person who owns the home" → "money spent on rent benefits the landlord").

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Balance the argument: Discuss both advantages and disadvantages before concluding.
  2. Improve transitions: Use more cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.
  3. Expand vocabulary: Avoid repetition by using synonyms and more precise terms.
  4. Proofread for grammar: Review subject-verb agreement, word forms, and sentence structure.
  5. Provide more varied examples: Instead of repeating Iran’s housing market, introduce another country or a hypothetical scenario.

Overall, the essay responds to the prompt but would benefit from clearer organization, stronger grammar, and more nuanced arguments.