Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...
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In the present climate, environmental problems have sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There existare two perspectives regarding thosethese challenges. While one viewpoint claims that the extinction of certain species of flora and fauna is the most important problem, the other argues there are more notable challenges.
The proponents of the preservation of animals and plants may provide several justifications. Firstly, it has been scientifically proven that the survival of all creatures areis dependent on each other, known as the life cycle. As axiomatic as it may sound, humans are involved in this cycle, so we might be in danger if particular species become extinct. By way of illustration, cockroaches and mosquitoes are hunted by lizzardslizards. ifIf we have a loss of lizzardslizards, the population of cockroaches will be on the increase. This, in turn, can have several adverse consequences. For example, cockroaches may eat the seeds of farming products and humans confrontface a lack of certain produce.
On the other hand, a group of people opine that there are a few more noticeable environmental problems. Global warming has become a significant setback, more specifically in recent years. Today, more and more factories and power plants are being established, emitting carbon dioxide and other hazardous gases, such as greenhouse gases, into the air. These eventually lead to the depletion of the ozone layer, which is a protective layer against the UV rays of the sun. As a result, this dangerous radiation might reach the surface of the earth, threatening the health of billions of individuals. Skin cancer is one of the risks of the UV radiation, according to Dr. Johnes from the University of California.
What can be concluded from the above is that I believe there suresurely exist more noticeable environmental problems than the extinction of certain species of creatures, including global warming, which can result in severe consequences in terms of health.
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Feedback on the Essay
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
The arguments are developed with relevant examples (e.g., the food chain disruption due to lizard extinction, global warming’s impact on health).
However, some points could be more detailed. For instance, the discussion on global warming could include additional consequences beyond health risks (e.g., rising sea levels, extreme weather).
The conclusion is clear but could be slightly more nuanced by acknowledging that species loss is still significant, even if other issues are more pressing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion).
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from species extinction to global warming feels abrupt—a linking sentence would help.
Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "lizzards" instead of "lizards," "if we have loss of lizzards" should be "if we lose lizards") slightly disrupt flow.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used (e.g., "flora and fauna," "depletion of ozone layer," "hazardous gases").
Some word choices could be more precise (e.g., "noticeable" might be better replaced with "urgent" or "critical").
Avoid repetition (e.g., "more noticeable" is used multiple times).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good.
There are some grammatical errors:
"if we have loss of lizzards" → "if lizards become extinct"
"humans confront lack of certain produce" → "humans may face shortages of certain crops"
"This dangerous radiation might reach the surface of the earth" → "This radiation can reach Earth’s surface"
Subject-verb agreement and article usage need attention (e.g., "life cycle" should be "the life cycle").
Suggestions for Improvement
Expand Examples: Provide more varied consequences for both species loss and global warming (e.g., economic impacts, ecosystem collapse).
Smoother Transitions: Use linking phrases like "In contrast," or "Furthermore," to improve flow.
Proofreading: Carefully check for spelling and grammar errors (e.g., "lizzards" → "lizards").
Nuanced Conclusion: Acknowledge that while global warming is more urgent, species loss is still a critical issue.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but refining grammar, transitions, and depth of examples would strengthen it further.