Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In today’s world, environmental issues have become a significant debate among citizens. There are two conflicting views,: while some individuals opine that the main problem is related to the extinction of particular flora and fauna, others, including myself, hold the view that other issues such as deforestation and air pollution are more detrimental. Supporters of particular plants and animals believe that the loss of every species can seriously impact the entire food chain. For example, the extinction of bees due to destroying their habitat habitat destruction and pesticides that humans use, have has a direct connection to pollination. Moreover, it is argued that biodiversity plays a crucial role in life-saving medicine such as cancer treatments and antibiotics,; as a result, if animals and plants arebecome extinct, humans may not be able to conduct further research. Regarding the second perspective, they posit that the ecosystem suffers from several problems, including deforestation, air pollution, and climate change. Deforestation is the main issue, as trees can absorb carbon dioxide. What makes anthis approach positive is the fact that it reduces air pollution and makesprovides fresh air for humans. Research reveals that millions of trees are cut down in order to create either paper or construction buildingsmaterials. This course of action has a considerable effect not only on the extinction of biodiversity but also on climate change. It seems logical to accept that whereaswhile losing some flora and fauna can be serious, it is closely linked to other environmental challenges.it It is vital to consider tothe root of problems and try to tackle them. Addressing main issues such as deforestation and air pollution should be our top priority,; solving these issues will prevent speciousspecies extinction. In conclusion, however,although biodiversity has an essential role in the ecosystem and overall human lives, but other environmental problems are more importantpressing. If individuals focus on tackling these issues, they can prevent species from becoming endangered species.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In today’s world, environmental issues have become a significant debate among citizens. There are two conflicting views, while some individuals opine that the main problem is related to the extinction of particular flora and fauna, others including myself hold the view that other issues such as deforestation and air pollution are more detrimental.
In today’s world, environmental issues have become a significant topic of debate among citizens. There are two conflicting perspectives: while some argue that the primary concern is the extinction of specific flora and fauna, others, including myself, believe that issues such as deforestation and air pollution are more detrimental.
Supporters of particular plants and animals believe that the loss of every species can seriously impact the entire food chain. For example, the extinction of bees due to destroying their habitat and pesticides that humans use, have a direct connection to pollination. Moreover, it is argued that biodiversity plays a crucial role in life-saving medicine such as cancer and antibiotics, as a result, if animals and plants are extinct, humans may not be able to conduct further research.
Proponents of protecting particular species argue that the loss of any plant or animal can severely disrupt the food chain. For instance, the decline of bees, caused by habitat destruction and pesticide use, directly affects pollination. Additionally, biodiversity is crucial for medical advancements, including treatments for cancer and antibiotics. Without diverse species, further research in these fields may be hindered.
Regarding the second perspective, they posit that the ecosystem suffers from several problems including deforestation, air pollution, and climate change. Deforestation is the main issue as trees can absorb carbon dioxide. What makes an approach positive is the fact that reduces air pollution and makes fresh air for humans. Research reveals that millions of trees are cut down in order to create either paper or construction buildings. This course of action has a considerable effect not only on the extinction of biodiversity but also on climate change.
On the other hand, advocates of the second perspective contend that the ecosystem faces more pressing threats, such as deforestation, air pollution, and climate change. Deforestation is particularly concerning, as trees absorb carbon dioxide, thereby mitigating air pollution and providing cleaner air. Studies indicate that millions of trees are felled annually for paper production and construction, exacerbating not only biodiversity loss but also climate change.
It seems logical to accept that whereas losing some flora and fauna can be serious it is closely linked to other environmental challenges.it is vital to consider to root of problems and try to tackle them. Addressing main issues such as deforestation and air pollution should be our top priority, solving these issues will prevent specious extinction.
While the extinction of certain species is undeniably serious, it is intrinsically linked to broader environmental challenges. Therefore, addressing root causes like deforestation and air pollution should be prioritized, as solving these issues would indirectly protect endangered species.
In conclusion, however, biodiversity has an essential role in the ecosystem and overall human lives, but other environmental problems are more important. If individuals focus on tackling these issues, they can prevent endangered species.
In conclusion, although biodiversity plays a vital role in the ecosystem and human life, other environmental problems demand greater attention. By focusing on these larger issues, we can also safeguard vulnerable species from extinction.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
7.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and presents your own opinion, which meets the task requirements.
  • The arguments are relevant, but some points could be developed further for clarity. For example, the link between deforestation and species extinction could be explained more explicitly.
  • The conclusion restates your position but could be more impactful by summarizing key reasons rather than just repeating the stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and your opinion.
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing biodiversity to deforestation feels abrupt. Phrases like "On the other hand," or "In contrast," could help.
  • The conclusion could better tie back to the main arguments instead of introducing a new idea ("If individuals focus on tackling these issues...").

Lexical Resource

  • You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., detrimental, biodiversity, pollination, deforestation).
  • Some phrasing is awkward or unclear:
    • "What makes an approach positive is the fact that reduces air pollution" → Reword for clarity (e.g., "Planting trees reduces air pollution, which is beneficial.")
    • "This course of action has a considerable effect not only on the extinction of biodiversity but also on climate change." → "Deforestation significantly impacts biodiversity loss and exacerbates climate change."
  • Avoid minor errors like "specious extinction" (likely meant "species extinction").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity:
    • "Others including myself hold the view" → "Others, including me, believe..."
    • "Research reveals that millions of trees are cut down in order to create either paper or construction buildings." → "...to produce paper or construct buildings."
    • "It is vital to consider to root of problems" → "the root of the problems"
  • Sentence structure is sometimes repetitive (e.g., overuse of "such as"). Vary your phrasing (e.g., "including," "for example," "like").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Connections: Explain how deforestation directly leads to species loss (e.g., habitat destruction).
  2. Smooth Transitions: Use linking words (However, In contrast, Consequently) to improve flow.
  3. Proofread: Check for grammatical errors (subject-verb agreement, articles, prepositions).
  4. Stronger Conclusion: Summarize key reasons for prioritizing deforestation/pollution over species loss.

Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion with good ideas. Refining grammar, cohesion, and depth of analysis would strengthen it further.