Question: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.
W...
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In the present climate, accommodation has sparked an immense amount of heated debate. It has been claimed that people in some nations are more inclined to buy a house instead ofrather than renting itone. I believe this matter can have many reasons, such as the high expensescost of renting and the challenges of moving. In my perspective, this may be a positive development.
There existare several justificationsreasons why individuals tend to oweown a home. Firstly, the pricescost of renting areis so high that tenants may have to spend the overwhelming majority of their income on paying rentingrent. Take Iran, for instance. Due to the high inflation rates of inflation and other economic problems, tenants are obliged to dedicate a considerable proportionportion of their salary to rentingrent. What is more, when renting a house, residents may have to move out of the home after a particularcertain time. As axiomaticobvious as it may sound, the rental period of renting is set in a contract, so when this time finishesends, tenants must move intoto another house.
ConcerningRegarding the created conditioncurrent situation, it can be beneficial. One of the most important reasons may be the fact that purchasing a home can be a strong motivation to save up money. Individuals may make every single effort to earn more money by, for example, working overtime. Although this subject may seem harddifficult and challenging in the first few years, it can benefit the public in the long run. While owingowning their accommodation, people are not forced to pay landlords. Furthermore, they are able to residelive in their houses as long as they desirewant.
What can be concluded from the above is that I argue it might be a positive circumstancesituation that citizens prefer to haveown a house rather than renting itrent one since one is motivatedit motivates them to be more active and work more hours to be able to afford to purchase purchasinga home.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your response addresses both parts of the prompt effectively, discussing reasons why homeownership is preferred and presenting a clear stance (positive).
The examples (e.g., Iran) strengthen your argument, but some claims could be more developed. For instance, explaining why high rental costs make ownership preferable would add depth.
The conclusion restates your position but could summarize key points more succinctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing (reasons for ownership → benefits).
Some transitions could be smoother. For example, "Concerning the created condition" is slightly awkward—phrases like "Regarding this trend" may work better.
Repetition occurs in places (e.g., "renting" is overused in the first body paragraph). Varying vocabulary (e.g., "leasing," "tenancy") would help.
Lexical Resource
Strong vocabulary is used (e.g., "axiomatic," "overwhelming majority"), but some phrasing is unnatural ("owe a home" should be "own a home"; "created condition" is unclear).
Minor errors: "pay renting" → "pay rent"; "owing their accommodation" → "owning their home."
More precise word choices (e.g., "economic instability" instead of "economic problems") would elevate clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Generally accurate, but watch verb forms:
"Tenants may have to spend... on paying renting" → "on paying rent."
"While owing their accommodation" → "While owning their homes."
Complex sentences are attempted but occasionally convoluted (e.g., "Although this subject may seem hard..."). Simplifying where needed would improve readability.
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify Examples: Expand on how high rental costs directly lead to ownership preference (e.g., long-term savings).
Smooth Transitions: Use more natural linking phrases between ideas.
Proofread: Check for minor grammatical slips and awkward phrasing.
Variety: Replace repetitive terms (e.g., "renting") with synonyms.
Overall, a well-argued essay with strong ideas. Refining language and flow will enhance clarity and impact.