Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...
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When encounering to encounteringa difficulty, people are divided ininto two categories. One group surrenders and the other one strives to defeatovercome the issue. I strongly believe man is capable of almost everything and giving up must be the last choice.Indeed, it is possible for each person to come across to a heinous condition and acknowledging it might seem the best choice compared to struggling with it. In other words, a certain challenge, which is impossible to solve, might happen to someone, and after several endeavoursattempts the person may not manage to solve it, thea result which causes frustration and depression. Therefore, accepting them at the first stage might be anthe optimal option for one, similarlyas it can help them to concentrate on the other important matters rather than wasting their time on trying impractical solutions. For example, one might be unconvinced ithunhappy with their job, which werewas the only option for them to get employed in, and they spend the half of their day with hatred of hatingthe situation that they cannot change, thusso they must accept the circumstances.However, I totallycompletely disagree with the previous beliefebelief, and I believe with deligencediligence nothing is impossible for humanhumans. InfactIn fact, if we yield at the beginning without showing any effort, we would not find out whether we were capable of resolving the problem. On the other hand, each person needs to increaseimprove their problem-solving skills, because getting over the overcomingchallenges is vital to learnlearning from them and progressprogressing. To illustrate, Michael Jordan was a terrible player when he was in high school. He even was not even admitted to attend in the school team. But he did not give up and he tried harder. Eventually, he became the best Basketballbasketball player of all time.In conclusion, difficulties might seem
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Strengths:
You addressed both views (accepting vs. improving a bad situation) and provided a clear opinion.
Examples (Michael Jordan, unsatisfactory job) help support your arguments.
The essay meets the minimum word requirement.
Areas for Improvement:
The conclusion is incomplete—it cuts off mid-sentence. Always ensure a full, clear conclusion that summarizes your stance.
Some arguments could be more developed. For instance, the idea that "accepting a situation helps focus on other matters" could be expanded with more reasoning or examples.
Avoid vague statements like "man is capable of almost everything"—be more precise (e.g., "humans can often overcome challenges with persistence").
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengths:
The essay has a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion).
Transition words ("However," "In conclusion") help guide the reader.
Areas for Improvement:
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased or unclear (e.g., "When encounering to a difficulty" → "When facing a difficulty").
The flow between ideas could be smoother. For example, the second paragraph jumps from "frustration and depression" to "concentrating on other matters" without a clear link.
Repetition of "believe" and "difficulties" could be varied for better cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Strengths:
You use some advanced vocabulary ("heinous condition," "endeavours," "diligence").
Attempts at idiomatic phrasing (e.g., "giving up must be the last choice") show range.
Areas for Improvement:
Some word choices are incorrect or unnatural (e.g., "encounering" → "encountering," "believe" → "belief").
Avoid overly dramatic phrasing ("heinous condition" is too strong for a common struggle like job dissatisfaction).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Strengths:
You attempt complex sentences (e.g., "a certain challenge, which is impossible to solve, might happen...").
Generally correct verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.
Areas for Improvement:
Grammar errors:
"When encounering to a difficulty" → "When facing a difficulty" (incorrect preposition).
"One group surrenders and the other one strives to defeat the issue" → "One group surrenders, while the other strives to overcome the issue" (more natural phrasing).
"Michael Jordan was a terrible player" → "Michael Jordan was not a skilled player" ("terrible" is too harsh).