Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...
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It is argueargued that there are two main attitudes toward bad situations: they can be tolerated or we can try andto improve the conditionconditions. I personalypersonally believe that we have to resist against bad situations and we have to try to improve them as much as possible.On the one hand, I don't agree with the idea that it's best to accept bad situations. The acceptance of bad conditions happen in our lives, leads to thisthe reality that, we must tolerate this unpleasant situationsituations like thea shortage of money and we must do nothing to improve our lives. Furthermore, if we don't try to tackle our problems, the amountnumber of problems will be more difficult greaterin the near future; therefore, it's better to resolve our issues and prevent from the greatest problems in the future.On the other hand, I believe that the best solution to our problems is to try to imporveimprove them. theThe improvement of our bad situations can be done in someseveral ways. Firstly, if we do not have job satisfaction, it's better to change our job or our employer; therefore, we can solve our job unsatisfactorydissatisfaction problem as easyeasily as we canpossible. Secondly, it's better tofor us to improve our bad conditions. For instance, if we are in a shortage shortof money, it's better to work overtime as much as possible instead of staying at home and sitsitting back onin a chair. Finally, in spite of all problems, we should invest onin small steps, for it ishas been proved by the scientists that small forward steps can have a large influences ininfluence on our lives inover a long period, for example, one year.In conclusion, I believe that the best way to dominateovercome our problems is nothing exceptother than to try and improve them. It would be wellgood if we learntlearned that problems can easily could be solved by chronic trypersistent effort.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both views and presents your opinion, which is good. However, the argument for accepting bad situations is not fully developed. You mostly focus on why people should not accept them rather than fairly discussing why some people might believe in acceptance (e.g., avoiding stress, contentment with what one has).
Some points are repetitive (e.g., "we have to try to improve them" is mentioned multiple times).
The conclusion is clear but could be more balanced by summarizing both sides before stating your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less smooth. For example:
"The acceptance of bad conditions happen in our lives, leads to this reality that, we must tolerate this unpleasant situation..." (This is grammatically incorrect and unclear.)
Transition words are used, but some are misapplied (e.g., "Furthermore" is used correctly, but "Finally" appears abruptly).
Paragraphing is acceptable, but the second body paragraph is too long—consider breaking it into smaller points.
Lexical Resource
There are several spelling and word choice errors:
"resist against bad situations" → "resist bad situations" or "fight against bad situations"
"chronic try" → "persistent effort"
Vocabulary is somewhat repetitive (e.g., "bad situations" is overused—consider synonyms like "adverse circumstances," "difficulties").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Several grammatical mistakes affect clarity:
"I don't agree the idea" → "I don't agree with the idea"
"the amount of problems will be more difficult" → "the number of problems will increase"
"prevent from the greatest problems" → "prevent greater problems"
"it's better to us to improve" → "it's better for us to improve"
Some sentences are fragmented or run-on:
"For instance, if we are in a shortage of money, it's better to work overtime as much as possible instead of staying at home and sit back on a chair." (This could be split into two sentences for clarity.)
Verb tense consistency is an issue in some places (e.g., "happen" should be "happens").
Suggestions for Improvement
Balance the Discussion – Spend more time explaining why some people accept bad situations before arguing against it.
Improve Grammar & Clarity – Proofread carefully and consider using Grammarly or similar tools.
Expand Vocabulary – Use synonyms and more precise phrasing to avoid repetition.
Refine Sentence Structure – Break long sentences into shorter, clearer ones.
Strengthen Cohesion – Use more varied linking words ("However," "In contrast," "Conversely") to improve flow.
Overall, your essay has a strong opinion and some good arguments, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and structure will make it more effective. Keep practicing!