Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

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Diverse perspectives regarding advertising are prevalent among individuals. While some argue that advertismentsadvertisements are significantly successful to persuadein persuading us for purchasingto purchase various products, others think that they have become veryso prevalent, that people do notno longer pay attention any more. Personally, I believe that they are still persuasisvepersuasive for people. This essay will initially examinesexamine both facets of the argument and then culminate andin a judicious conclusion. On the one hand, some support the idea that advertising areis highly successful to covineingin convincing individuals to buy pruductsproducts. The reason for this is that companies and businesses use innovative and creative strategies to drawingdraw the attention of their target audience. For instance, they use celebrity endorsement for promotingendorsements to promote and introducingintroduce their products to customers. Consequently, customers can trust more to the brand, more and find themit reliable. Similarly, they use some methods such as time-limited offeroffers. In this way, they creatingcreate a sense of urgency and rush, which presuadepersuades people to buy goods that really they do not really need. On the other hand, some think that nowadays advertisments do not succeed advertisements no longer succeed due to commonlytheir commonness. They say that advertising has become extremely typical whichand is usually considrateconsidered annoying. Some websites and applications constantly display advertismentsadvertisements when people are watching an impostantimportant educational course or readigreading an important article, for instance. Additionally, The widspreadthe widespread nature of advertising, can creatcreate a sense of confusion. When someone havehas numerous options formfrom various brands, they become unable to select one of them. Therefore, this ubiquilityubiquity can lead to people preferpreferring to buy their products baisedbased on past experiences or word of mouth, which gives customers have limited choisechoice. As a result, they doare not confused withby a wide range of brands. In conclusion, although advertismentsadvertisements may become annoying and creatcreate confusion, I firmly believe that they are highly practical toin tempting customercustomers to buy them due to their creativity and usinguse of innovative strategies.
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Overall Band Score
5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, the argument could be more balanced and developed further.
  • Some points are repetitive (e.g., the idea of confusion due to too many advertisements is mentioned multiple times).
  • The examples (celebrity endorsements, time-limited offers) are relevant but could be explained more clearly.
  • The conclusion restates the opinion but does not summarize the discussion effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas are abrupt. Phrases like "This essay will initially examines" and "then culminate and judicious conclusion" are unclear.
  • Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the argument harder to follow (e.g., "they creating a sense of urgency and rush").
  • Paragraphing is mostly correct, but the second body paragraph is slightly disorganized.

Lexical Resource

  • There are several spelling and word choice errors:
    • "covineing" → "convincing"
    • "pruducts" → "products"
    • "considrate" → "considered"
    • "ubiquility" → "ubiquity"
    • "baised" → "based"
  • Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "do not attention any more" → "no longer pay attention").
  • The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive (e.g., "persuasive," "confusion," "innovative" are overused).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are frequent grammatical errors:
    • Subject-verb agreement: "advertising are" → "advertising is"
    • Incorrect verb forms: "they creating" → "they create"
    • Missing articles: "they use celebrity endorsement" → "they use a celebrity endorsement"
    • Sentence fragments: "which presuade people to buy goods that really do not need" (missing "they" before "need").
  • Some sentences are overly complex and grammatically incorrect (e.g., "This essay will initially examines").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarity & Precision – Avoid awkward phrasing and ensure sentences are grammatically correct.
  2. Balanced Argument – Develop both sides more equally before stating your opinion.
  3. Proofreading – Check for spelling and grammar mistakes before submission.
  4. Varied Vocabulary – Use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., "effective" instead of "successful").
  5. Stronger Conclusion – Summarize key points before restating your opinion.

With more careful editing and clearer expression, this essay could be significantly improved.