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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In the present climate, advertising plays a significant role in modern businesses. While some individuals argue that advertisements can capture attention to buy products, others, including myself, hold the view that we should not pay attention to them, especially on social platforms. Regarding the first viewpoint, it is claimed that ads are undeniably effective in influencing consumers. They posit that creative ads can offer more opportunities to inform and choose from them. For instance, some well-known companies such as Apple and Samsung invest heavily in creating ads in order to showshowcase their new up-to-date devices and persuade themconsumers to purchase from thosethem. If algorithms track user performancesbehavior and deliver personalized ads, they cannot ignore them and makecreate a sense of urgency, leading to impulse buying. Opponents of advertising argue that modern consumers are bombarded with ads everywhere, from social media to billboards, as. As a result of this, oversaturation not only loses itsdiminishes their effects but also gives a sense of leads to desensitization, which is commonly known as ad fatigue. Moreover, children are vulnerable to some ads, which can harm their future,; consequently, they prefer to use adsad-blocking tools to ignore and skip them, particularly online. It seems logical to accept that providing ads can assist individuals in making better buying decisions. Additionally, also repetitive advertisements ensure brand recall, which means meaning customers are more likely to choose familiar products over knownunknown alternatives. However, the oversaturation of ads will diminish their effects, it. It is suggested that discovering and asking from others can be more effective compared to ads. Therefore, ignoring some of them is more practical, especially on social platforms. In conclusion, whereas advertising has become ubiquitous these days, some put forthargue for its effectiveness, depending on how relevant and creative it is, and how it helps them to have make affordable and valuable purchasing, while others purchases. Others believe that this is merely a marketing strategy to attract consumers, and we doshould not give our attention to them. However, makingmaintaining a strict balance could be useful.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In the present climate, advertising plays a significant role in modern businesses. While some individuals argue that advertisements can capture attention to buy products, others including myself, hold the view that we should not pay attention to them, especially on social platforms.
In the current climate, advertising plays a significant role in modern business. While some argue that advertisements effectively capture attention and encourage purchases, others, including myself, believe we should not pay undue attention to them, particularly on social platforms.
Regarding the first viewpoint, it is claimed that ads are undeniably effective in influencing consumers. They posit that creative ads can offer more opportunities to inform and choose from them. For instance, some well-known companies such as Apple and Samsung invest heavily in creating ads in order to show their new up-to-date devices and persuade them to purchase from those. If algorithms track user performances and deliver personalized ads, they cannot ignore them and make a sense of urgency, leading to impulse buying.
Regarding the first perspective, it is argued that advertisements undeniably influence consumer behavior. Proponents claim that creative ads provide valuable information and expand consumer choice. For example, major companies like Apple and Samsung invest heavily in advertising to showcase their latest devices and persuade customers to purchase them. When algorithms track user behavior and deliver personalized ads, they create a sense of urgency, often leading to impulsive buying.
Opponents of advertising argue that modern consumers are bombarded with ads everywhere from social media to billboards, as a result of this, oversaturation not only loses its effects but also gives a sense of desensitization which is commonly known as ad fatigue. Moreover, children are vulnerable to some ads which harm their future, consequently, they prefer to use ads-blocking tools to ignore and skip them particularly online.
Critics, however, contend that modern consumers are overwhelmed by advertisements, from social media to billboards. This oversaturation not only reduces their effectiveness but also leads to desensitization, commonly referred to as ad fatigue. Additionally, children are particularly vulnerable to manipulative ads, which may negatively impact their development. As a result, many prefer using ad-blocking tools to avoid them, especially online.
It seems logical to accept that providing ads can assist individuals in making better buying decisions, also repetitive advertisements ensure brand recall which means customers are more likely to choose familiar products over known alternatives. However, oversaturation of ads will diminish their effects, it is suggested that discovering and asking from others can be more effective compared to ads. Therefore, ignoring some of them is more practical, especially on social platforms.
While it is reasonable to acknowledge that advertisements can aid consumers in making informed purchasing decisions—and that repeated exposure strengthens brand recall—excessive advertising diminishes its impact. Seeking recommendations from trusted sources may prove more effective than relying solely on ads. Thus, selectively ignoring advertisements, particularly on social media, is a practical approach.
In conclusion, whereas advertising has become ubiquitous these days, some put forth its effectiveness depending on how relevant and creative it is and helps them to have affordable and valuable purchasing, while others believe that this is a marketing strategy to attract consumers and we do not give our attention to them. However, making a strict balance could be useful.
In conclusion, although advertising has become ubiquitous, opinions differ on its effectiveness. Some emphasize its value in facilitating affordable and informed purchases when executed creatively and relevantly, while others view it as a manipulative marketing tactic. Striking a careful balance in engagement with advertisements may be the most beneficial approach.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and presents your own opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, the introduction could be clearer in outlining the two perspectives before stating your stance.
  • Some arguments are well-developed (e.g., ad fatigue, personalized ads), but others could be expanded with more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
  • The conclusion summarizes the discussion but could be more decisive in presenting your final stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and your opinion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
  • Phrases like "Regarding the first viewpoint" and "Opponents of advertising argue" help with cohesion, but some sentences feel slightly abrupt (e.g., "Moreover, children are vulnerable to some ads which harm their future"—this could be linked more naturally to the previous point).
  • The conclusion restates the discussion but could better synthesize the two perspectives before giving a final opinion.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., desensitization, ad fatigue, oversaturation, impulse buying), but some word choices could be more precise. For example:
    • "make a sense of urgency" → "create a sense of urgency"
    • "give a sense of desensitization" → "lead to desensitization"
  • Some phrasing is awkward (e.g., "make better buying decisions, also repetitive advertisements ensure brand recall"—this could be reworded for clarity).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity:
    • "If algorithms track user performances and deliver personalized ads, they cannot ignore them" → Unclear pronoun reference (who is "they"—users or algorithms?).
    • "making a strict balance could be useful" → "striking a balance" would be more natural.
  • Some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified for better readability (e.g., "However, oversaturation of ads will diminish their effects, it is suggested that discovering and asking from others can be more effective compared to ads.").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify the introduction by briefly summarizing both views before stating your opinion.
  2. Strengthen examples—add more specific cases (e.g., statistics on ad effectiveness or consumer behavior).
  3. Improve transitions between ideas to enhance flow.
  4. Revise awkward phrasing and grammatical errors for better clarity.
  5. Make the conclusion more decisive—clearly state which view you support and why.

Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion but would benefit from more precise language and smoother transitions. Keep practicing!