Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...
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These days, campaniescompanies and businesses insistthrough dvertisementsadvertisements that their products are modern and up to date. This essay initially elaborateelaborates the pincipalprincipal factors contributing to this phenomenon, namely, attractattracting the attention of customers and being practical based on the present life, and I will also argue that this approach represents a positive development and provide explanationexplanations to support my view.To begin with the reasons, firstly, the key reason why companies highlight the novelty of their products is customer's satisfaction. In fact, human hashumans have a natural tendency totoward innovation and cutting-edge products. This happens because new stuffthings are more convenienceconvenient and efficient. In other words, they are aligned with current needs in order to meet the expectations of individuals. Secondly, companies often improve their goods in new versions. Because because the small drawbacks just appearsonly appear after mass production. For instance, smart phones smartphonesare consistantlyconsistently produced to remove the potential bugs. Therefore, it draws the customers and enhances thetheir satisfaction of them.This trend has many benefits not only for companies, but also for buyers. The main advantage is that it can creates a createpositive competition. This is because companies, in order to increase their salesales rate, they attempt to produce products with high-quailtyquality and noveltynovel products. As a result, it can boost criativitycreativity and innovation. Additionally, this attempt for offeringto offer new products can improve the overall quality of life. To calrifyclarify, nowadays, because of environmental issues, all companies attempt to produce products, wich which are environmentally-friendly and sustainable. It provides people with energy-efficient products. For example, electrical motorcycle, such as electric motorcycles or organic fertilizers.In conclusion, giving thea sense of satisfactionasatisfaction and eliminating possible drawbacks are the main causes for emphasisingemphasizing new products. In my view, it can be manyvery beneficial due to bringing creativity and improving the quality of life.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Clarity of Response: Your essay addresses the prompt by explaining why businesses emphasize new products and presents a clear opinion (positive development). However, the introduction could be more concise and precise. The phrase "campanies and businesses insist through dvertisements" contains spelling errors ("campanies" → "companies," "dvertisements" → "advertisements").
Supporting Arguments: You provide relevant reasons (customer satisfaction, product improvements) and examples (smartphones, eco-friendly products). However, some explanations are vague. For instance, "human has a natural tendency to innovation" should be rephrased for clarity (e.g., "humans are naturally drawn to innovation").
Conclusion: The conclusion restates your position but could be more impactful. Avoid minor errors like "satisfactiona" (typo) and "it can be many beneficial" (grammar error).
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical Flow: The essay follows a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion). However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, "To begin with reasons, firstly..." is redundant—just "Firstly" would suffice.
Linking Words: Some transitions are missing or awkward ("Because the small drawbacks just appears after mass production"). Use connectors like "This is because" or "Consequently" for better flow.
Paragraphing: Each paragraph has a clear focus, but the second body paragraph could be split for better readability (e.g., separating competition and quality-of-life benefits).
Lexical Resource
Word Choice: Some words are misused or awkward ("convenience" should be "convenient,""criativity" → "creativity").
Repetition: Avoid repeating "companies" excessively—use synonyms like "firms" or "businesses."
Sentence Structure: Some sentences are fragmented or unclear ("Because the small drawbacks just appears after mass production" → "This is because minor flaws often emerge after mass production.").
Subject-Verb Agreement: Errors like "human has" (should be "humans have") and "drawbacks... appears" (should be "appear").
Article Usage: Missing articles ("human has a natural tendency" → "humans have a natural tendency").
Suggestions for Improvement
Proofread Carefully: Fix spelling and grammar errors.
Simplify Transitions: Avoid redundant phrases ("To begin with reasons, firstly" → "Firstly").
Clarify Examples: Make sure explanations are precise (e.g., "new stuff are more convenience" → "new products are more convenient").
Vary Vocabulary: Use synonyms to avoid repetition.
Improve Sentence Structure: Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct.
Overall, your essay has a strong argument but needs refinement in language accuracy and clarity. Keep practicing!