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Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
These days, campaniescompanies and businesses insist through dvertisementsadvertisements that their products are modern and up to date. This essay initially elaborateelaborates the pincipalprincipal factors contributing to this phenomenon, namely, attractattracting the attention of customers and being practical based on the present life, and I will also argue that this approach represents a positive development and provide explanationexplanations to support my view. To begin with the reasons, firstly, the key reason why companies highlight the novelty of their products is customer's satisfaction. In fact, human hashumans have a natural tendency totoward innovation and cutting-edge products. This happens because new stuffthings are more convenienceconvenient and efficient. In other words, they are aligned with current needs in order to meet the expectations of individuals. Secondly, companies often improve their goods in new versions. Because because the small drawbacks just appearsonly appear after mass production. For instance, smart phones smartphones are consistantlyconsistently produced to remove the potential bugs. Therefore, it draws the customers and enhances thetheir satisfaction of them. This trend has many benefits not only for companies, but also for buyers. The main advantage is that it can creates a create positive competition. This is because companies, in order to increase their salesales rate, they attempt to produce products with high-quailtyquality and noveltynovel products. As a result, it can boost criativitycreativity and innovation. Additionally, this attempt for offeringto offer new products can improve the overall quality of life. To calrifyclarify, nowadays, because of environmental issues, all companies attempt to produce products, wich which are environmentally- friendly and sustainable. It provides people with energy-efficient products. For example, electrical motorcycle, such as electric motorcycles or organic fertilizers. In conclusion, giving thea sense of satisfactionasatisfaction and eliminating possible drawbacks are the main causes for emphasisingemphasizing new products. In my view, it can be manyvery beneficial due to bringing creativity and improving the quality of life.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days, campanies and businesses insist through dvertisements that their products are modern and up to date. This essay initially elaborate the pincipal factors contributing to this phenomenon, namely, attract the attention of customers and being practical based on the present life, and I will also argue that this approach represents a positive development and provide explanation to support my view.
These days, companies and businesses insist through advertisements that their products are modern and up to date. This essay will elaborate on the principal factors contributing to this phenomenon, namely attracting the attention of customers and adapting to contemporary lifestyles. Additionally, I will argue that this approach represents a positive development and provide explanations to support my view.
To begin with reasons, firstly, the key reason why companies highlight the novelty of their products is customer's satisfaction. In fact, human has a natural tendency to innovation and cutting-edge products. This happens because new stuff are more convenience and efficient. In other words, they are aligned with current needs in order to meet the expectations of individuals. Secondly, companies often improve their goods in new versions. Because the small drawbacks just appears after mass production. For instance, smart phones are consistantly produced to remove the potential bugs. Therefore, it draws the customers and enhances the satisfaction of them.
To begin with, the primary reason companies emphasize the novelty of their products is customer satisfaction. Humans have a natural inclination toward innovation and cutting-edge products because new items are often more convenient and efficient. In other words, they are designed to align with current needs and meet consumer expectations. Secondly, companies frequently improve their products through updated versions, as minor flaws often only become apparent after mass production. For instance, smartphones are consistently upgraded to eliminate potential issues, thereby attracting customers and enhancing their satisfaction.
This trend has many benefits not only for companies, but also for buyers. The main advantage is it can creates a positive competition. This is because companies in order to increase their sale rate, they attempt to produce products with high-quailty and novelty. As a result, it can boost criativity and innovation. Additionally, this attempt for offering new products can improve overall quality of life. To calrify, nowadays because of environmental issues all companies attempt to produce products, wich are environmentally-friendly and sustainable. It provides people energy-efficient products. For example, electrical motorcycle or organic fertilizers.
This trend benefits not only companies but also consumers. The main advantage is that it fosters healthy competition. To increase sales, businesses strive to produce high-quality, innovative products, which in turn stimulates creativity and technological advancement. Furthermore, the pursuit of new and improved products can enhance overall quality of life. For example, due to growing environmental concerns, many companies now focus on developing eco-friendly and sustainable products, such as electric motorcycles or organic fertilizers, which promote energy efficiency and environmental conservation.
In conclusion, giving the sense of satisfactiona and eliminating possible drawbacks are the main causes for emphasising new products. In my view, it can be many beneficial due to bringing creativity and improving the quality of life.
In conclusion, the desire to satisfy customers and address potential shortcomings are the main reasons companies highlight the modernity of their products. In my opinion, this is a positive development as it encourages innovation and improves living standards.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Clarity of Response: Your essay addresses the prompt by explaining why businesses emphasize new products and presents a clear opinion (positive development). However, the introduction could be more concise and precise. The phrase "campanies and businesses insist through dvertisements" contains spelling errors ("campanies" → "companies," "dvertisements" → "advertisements").
  • Supporting Arguments: You provide relevant reasons (customer satisfaction, product improvements) and examples (smartphones, eco-friendly products). However, some explanations are vague. For instance, "human has a natural tendency to innovation" should be rephrased for clarity (e.g., "humans are naturally drawn to innovation").
  • Conclusion: The conclusion restates your position but could be more impactful. Avoid minor errors like "satisfactiona" (typo) and "it can be many beneficial" (grammar error).

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Logical Flow: The essay follows a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion). However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, "To begin with reasons, firstly..." is redundant—just "Firstly" would suffice.
  • Linking Words: Some transitions are missing or awkward ("Because the small drawbacks just appears after mass production"). Use connectors like "This is because" or "Consequently" for better flow.
  • Paragraphing: Each paragraph has a clear focus, but the second body paragraph could be split for better readability (e.g., separating competition and quality-of-life benefits).

Lexical Resource

  • Word Choice: Some words are misused or awkward ("convenience" should be "convenient," "criativity" → "creativity").
  • Repetition: Avoid repeating "companies" excessively—use synonyms like "firms" or "businesses."
  • Spelling & Typos: Multiple errors ("pincipal" → "principal," "calrify" → "clarify"). Proofreading is essential.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: Some sentences are fragmented or unclear ("Because the small drawbacks just appears after mass production" → "This is because minor flaws often emerge after mass production.").
  • Subject-Verb Agreement: Errors like "human has" (should be "humans have") and "drawbacks... appears" (should be "appear").
  • Article Usage: Missing articles ("human has a natural tendency" → "humans have a natural tendency").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Proofread Carefully: Fix spelling and grammar errors.
  2. Simplify Transitions: Avoid redundant phrases ("To begin with reasons, firstly" → "Firstly").
  3. Clarify Examples: Make sure explanations are precise (e.g., "new stuff are more convenience" → "new products are more convenient").
  4. Vary Vocabulary: Use synonyms to avoid repetition.
  5. Improve Sentence Structure: Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct.

Overall, your essay has a strong argument but needs refinement in language accuracy and clarity. Keep practicing!