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Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...

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While many people hold the view that engineers and doctors should serve in the country where they acquired their knowledge, Othersothers are of the opinion that there is no constraint for them, and they can choose where to work arbitrarilyfreely. From my point of view, professionals have the right to choose the place where they feel betterbest. On the one hand, numerous people state that training is based on each country’s conditions for doctors and engineers. For instance, the UAE is a coastal country, which means it has a soft solidsoil, so a civil engineer who trained in a mountainous country is not really skillfulskilled in constructing buildings there. Also, some diseases are specific to a region like malaria, and maybe a doctor who lives in Nordic countries does not know anything about that. Therefore, it is better for professionals to work where they are trained. From another angle, many people are proponents of the opinion that there is no limitation for professionals in terms of choosing where they would ratherprefer to work. Most people firmly believe that doctors and engineers can adapt themselves to tough situations, for they have sufficient knowledge and literacyskills to overcome vast problems. As far as I am concerned, eventhey may even have some issues in their original country where they trained, which convinces them to immigrate somewhere so that they have the opportunity to extend their proficiency and experience. For example, the non-advancedunderdeveloped automotive industry in Iran provides a situation in which approximately most experienced people in this field prefer to go abroad in order to employ their ideas in other countries. By awayway of conclusion, whether professionals like doctors and engineers should work in the country where they trained or not is a popular topic these days. In my opinion, this issue totally depends on the professionals’ decision and they are free to choose their career path.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
While many people hold the view that engineers and doctors should serve in the country where they acquired their knowledge, Others are of the opinion that there is no constraint for them, and they can choose where to work arbitrarily. From my point of view, professionals have the right to choose the place where they feel better.
While many people hold the view that engineers and doctors should serve in the country where they acquired their knowledge, others believe that there should be no constraints on their choice of workplace, allowing them to work wherever they wish. From my perspective, professionals have the right to choose the location where they feel most fulfilled.
On the one hand, numerous people state that training is based on each country’s conditions for doctors and engineers. For instance, UAE is a coastal country, which means it has a soft solid, so a civil engineer who trained in a mountainous country is not really skillful in constructing buildings there. Also, some diseases are specific to a region like malaria, and maybe a doctor who lives in Nordic countries does not know anything about that. Therefore, it is better for professionals to work where they are trained.
On one hand, numerous individuals argue that training is tailored to the specific conditions of each country for doctors and engineers. For instance, the UAE is a coastal nation, which presents unique challenges for civil engineering. A civil engineer trained in a mountainous country may not possess the necessary skills to construct buildings effectively in a coastal environment. Similarly, certain diseases, such as malaria, are endemic to specific regions, and a doctor from Nordic countries may lack the expertise to treat such conditions. Therefore, it is often more beneficial for professionals to work in the environments where they received their training.
From another angle, many people are proponents of the opinion that there is no limitation for professionals in terms of choosing where they would rather work. Most people firmly believe that doctors and engineers can adapt themselves to tough situations, for they have sufficient knowledge and literacy to overcome vast problems. As far as I am concerned, even may have some issues in their original country where they trained, which convinces them to immigrate somewhere so that they have the opportunity to extend their proficiency and experience. For example, the non-advanced automotive industry in Iran provides a situation in which approximately most experienced people in this field prefer to go abroad in order to employ their ideas in other countries.
On the other hand, many advocate for the idea that professionals should not be limited in their choice of workplace. Many believe that doctors and engineers possess the adaptability and knowledge to thrive in diverse situations. In my opinion, professionals may face challenges in their home countries that motivate them to seek opportunities abroad, where they can further develop their skills and gain valuable experience. For example, the underdeveloped automotive industry in Iran has led many experienced professionals in this field to seek employment in other countries, where they can implement their ideas and innovations.
By away conclusion, whether professionals like doctors and engineers should work in the country where they trained or not is a popular topic these days. In my opinion, this issue totally depends on the professionals’ decision and they are free to choose their career path.
In conclusion, the question of whether professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should work in the country where they were trained is a widely debated topic. In my view, this decision ultimately rests with the professionals themselves, and they should have the freedom to choose their career paths based on their personal and professional aspirations.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
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Task Achievement

  • Addressing the Prompt: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether professionals should work in the country where they trained or have the freedom to work elsewhere.
  • Position: Your position is clearly stated, supporting the idea that professionals should have the freedom to choose where they work.
  • Examples and Support: You provide relevant examples, such as the UAE's coastal conditions and the automotive industry in Iran, to support your arguments. However, the examples could be more detailed to strengthen your points further.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Structure: The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
  • Cohesion: Transition words and phrases like "On the one hand," "From another angle," and "By away conclusion" help in maintaining the flow of the essay. However, "By away conclusion" seems to be a typographical error and should be corrected to "By way of conclusion."
  • Paragraphing: Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which aids in clarity and coherence.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with terms like "proficiency," "immigrate," and "adapt." However, there are minor errors such as "soft solid" which should be "soft soil."
  • Variety: There is a good range of vocabulary, but further variety and precision could enhance the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the readability.
  • Grammar: There are minor grammatical errors, such as "even may have some issues" which should be "they may even have some issues." These errors do not significantly impede understanding but should be corrected for greater accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Detail in Examples: Provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, explain how specific training in a country might not be applicable elsewhere.
  2. Lexical Precision: Ensure that vocabulary is used accurately, such as correcting "soft solid" to "soft soil."
  3. Grammar and Typographical Errors: Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes to improve clarity and professionalism.
  4. Expand on Ideas: While the essay covers both views, expanding on the reasons why professionals might choose to work abroad could provide a more balanced discussion.

Overall, the essay is well-organized and addresses the task effectively, but attention to detail in language use and examples could enhance its quality.