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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

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It is argued by some people that advertising holds important value for convincing consumers to purchase materialsproducts, while others understimateunderestimate the signigicancesignificance of advertising in attracting consumers due to its growing prevalence. This essay will discuss both perspectives and draw a logical conclusion. On the one hand, making advertisements has become so commonplace in recent years that many individuals may not be attracted to them as much as they were used to be. In other words, due to recent advancements in technology and social media, producers can now can advertise a wide range of products through various broadcasting venuesplatforms. As a result, audienceaudiences are bombarded with a vast number of advertisements everydayevery day when they explore their social media channels or simply when they watch television or listen to the radio, resulting in loweringdiminishing the importance of the advertised materialsproducts and reducing the desire to buy them. Moreover, some advertisementadvertisements may resemble each other in terms of content and lack new ideas about the goods they are presenting. This similarity in advertisement themes may gradually weaken their appeal to the consumers. On the other hand, advertising can be of essential importance in persuading people to purchase their target products. Firstly, if commercial advertisement producers strive to showcase the new or unique features of their produceproducts in a rational way, individuals will be encouraged to buy them. This is clearly evident in healthcare and cosmetic products companies, which can make substantial profits by enticing people to buy their products through huge advertisement campaigns. Secondly, despite the fact that advertising has become commonplace, many individuals still rely on themit to acquire information about new goods and make their decisions about what they may prefer to buy. Therefore, companies would be able to reap the benefits of advertising if they can create entertaining content tailored to the specific needs of their audience. In conclusion, although advertisementadvertising has lost its popularity to some extent in recent years, many individuals still gravitate towards themit to find information about various products. In my opinion, advertisementadvertising still holds great value for persuading people to purchase materialsproducts if they containit contains entertaining and unique content.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is argued by some people that advertising holds important value for convincing consumers to purchase materials, while others understimate the signigicance of advertising in attracting consumers due to its growing prevalence. This essay will discuss both perspectives and draw a logical conclusion.
It is argued by some that advertising plays a crucial role in convincing consumers to purchase products, while others underestimate its significance in attracting customers due to its increasing prevalence. This essay will discuss both perspectives before reaching a logical conclusion.
On the one hand, making advertisements has become so commonplace in recent years that many individuals may not be attracted to them as much as they were used to. In other words, due to recent advancements in technology and social media, producers now can advertise a wide range of products through various broadcasting venues. As a result, audience are bombarded with a vast number of advertisements everyday when they explore their social media channels or simply when they watch television or listen to the radio, resulting in lowering the importance of the advertised materials and reducing the desire to buy them. Moreover, some advertisement may resemble each other in terms of content and lack new ideas about the goods they are presenting. This similarity in advertisement themes may gradually weaken their appeal to the consumers.
On one hand, advertising has become so ubiquitous in recent years that many individuals may no longer find it as compelling as before. Due to technological advancements and the rise of social media, companies can now promote products through numerous channels. Consequently, audiences are constantly exposed to countless advertisements while browsing social media, watching television, or listening to the radio. This overexposure may diminish the perceived value of advertised products and reduce consumers' desire to purchase them. Furthermore, many advertisements share similar content and lack innovative approaches to presenting their products, which may gradually weaken their appeal to potential buyers.
On the other hand, advertising can be of essential importance in persuading people to purchase their target products. Firstly, if commercial advertisement producers strive to showcase the new or unique features of their produce in a rational way, individuals will be encouraged to buy them. This is clearly evident in healthcare and cosmetic products companies, which can make substantial profits by enticing people to buy their products through huge advertisement campaigns. Secondly, despite the fact that advertising has become commonplace, many individuals still rely on them to acquire information about new goods and make their decisions about what they may prefer to buy. Therefore, companies would be able to reap benefits of advertising if they can create entertaining content tailored to the specific needs of their audience.
On the other hand, advertising remains essential for persuading consumers to purchase products. Firstly, when advertisements effectively highlight a product's unique features in a compelling manner, they can significantly influence purchasing decisions. This is particularly evident in the healthcare and cosmetics industries, where extensive advertising campaigns often lead to substantial profits. Secondly, despite the saturation of advertisements, many consumers still rely on them to discover new products and make informed purchasing decisions. Companies can therefore benefit greatly from advertising by creating engaging content that caters to their target audience's specific needs and preferences.
In conclusion, although advertisement has lost its popularity to some extent in recent years, many individuals still gravitate towards them to find information about various products. In my opinion, advertisement still holds great value for persuading people to purchase materials if they contain entertaining and unique content.
In conclusion, although advertising has become less distinctive in recent years due to its widespread use, it continues to play a vital role in influencing consumer behavior. In my view, advertising maintains its effectiveness in persuading consumers when it offers original and engaging content that resonates with potential buyers.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
strong
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
strong
Cohesion
strong
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
  • The arguments are developed with relevant examples (e.g., healthcare and cosmetic advertisements).
  • The conclusion summarizes the discussion and restates the writer’s opinion effectively.
  • However, some points could be more concise to avoid repetition (e.g., the idea of advertisements being "commonplace" is mentioned multiple times).

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion).
  • Cohesive devices are used effectively (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "In conclusion").
  • Some sentences could be smoother—for example, "This similarity in advertisement themes may gradually weaken their appeal to the consumers" could be rephrased for better flow.

Lexical Resource

  • A good range of vocabulary is used (e.g., "bombarded," "gravitate towards," "reap benefits").
  • Some minor spelling errors exist (e.g., "understimate," "signigicance," "produce" instead of "product").
  • A few word choices could be more precise (e.g., "materials" should be "products" or "items" for clarity).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures (complex and compound sentences).
  • Some grammatical errors are present:
    • "audience are bombarded" → "audiences are bombarded" (subject-verb agreement).
    • "produce" (noun form incorrect; should be "products").
    • "lowering the importance of the advertised materials" → "reducing the impact of advertisements."
  • Articles are occasionally missing (e.g., "in rational way" → "in a rational way").

Suggestions for Improvement

  • Clarity & Conciseness: Avoid repetition of ideas (e.g., the overuse of "commonplace").
  • Proofreading: Check for spelling and grammatical errors before submission.
  • Precision in Word Choice: Use "products" instead of "materials" for better clarity.
  • Sentence Flow: Some sentences could be rephrased for smoother readability.

Overall, the essay presents a well-structured argument but would benefit from tighter editing for grammar and word choice.