Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...
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There is an ongoing debate about whether expert individuals are meant to be occupied workwithin the country thethey studied in or people should have the right to choose where to operate inwork. While a group of folkspeople advocate for working in the country that provided qualificationtheir qualifications, I firmly believe it is a basic human right to decide which location to serve in.
On the one hand, several residents of different countries that are well-known to providefor providing education for university students, namelysuch as Australia and Canada, believe that it is considered unfair to serve another country after graduation while the students' selectedchosen country to study in had provided them with countless benefits such as student loans, paid internship opportunities, and state-of-the-art facilities. In addition, not only aredo different nations' universities run by usedifferent instructin methoudsteaching methods, but also their workforceworkforces also apply different strategies for work. For instance, construction engineers who graduated from Italy are trained to utilize concereteconcrete only for the building process, whereas in the United States, labour will workers would get fired to consume conceretefor using concrete only due to its high costs.
On the other hand, a group of individuals are of the belief believethat the least that profeesionalsprofessionals who spent a long time to dedicatededicating themselves to their studies can have is the freedom of choice when planingplanning which location to operatework in. Moreover, the more reluctant people are people to work in a place, the lower their quality of operationwork will be. Additionally, not all the best course course-delivering nations demand specific qualifications. For example, Sweden has been recognized to deliverfor delivering the highest quality medical science programprograms at universities,; however, the high rate of wellness and physical health in Sweden simply demonstrates the low need for physicians. Whereas in third-world countries, there is a high demand for this field, and this is a common factor when choosing a place to serve in.
In conclusion, it is evident that some individuals agree with the idea of keeping graduates in their location of studyingstudy to avoid any misconduct relating to their service,; however, I strongly statebelieve that people should ownhave the right to decide where applying their expertise in can be more beneficial for the world.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Content & Relevance: Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, some points lack depth and clarity. For example, the argument about Italy and the U.S. using different construction methods is not fully developed or clearly linked to the main argument.
Examples & Support: Some examples (e.g., Sweden’s medical programs and third-world demand for doctors) are relevant but could be more detailed or better explained to strengthen your argument.
Position Clarity: Your stance is clear, but the reasoning could be more persuasive. The conclusion restates your opinion but does not summarize key points effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical Flow: The essay has a logical structure, but some ideas are not smoothly connected. For instance, the transition between the Italy-U.S. example and the next paragraph is abrupt.
Linking Words: Some transitions are missing or awkward (e.g., "Moreover, the more reluctant are people to work in a place, the lower their quality of operation will be" could be rephrased for clarity).
Paragraphing: Each paragraph has a central idea, but some sentences within them are disjointed or overly complex.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary Range: You use a variety of words, but some are misused or awkward (e.g., "methouds" instead of "methods," "concerete" instead of "concrete," "course course-delivering nations").
Word Choice & Accuracy: Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "the least that professionals who spent long time to dedicate to their studies can have is the freedom of choice"). Simplify for clarity.
Spelling & Typos: There are several spelling errors (e.g., "profeesionals," "instructin methouds," "concerete"). Proofreading is essential.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Sentence Structure: Some sentences are overly complex or grammatically incorrect (e.g., "not only are different nations' universities run by different instructin methouds, but also their workforce apply different strategies for work").
Grammar Errors: Subject-verb agreement issues ("labour will get fired to consume concerete only due to its high costs"), incorrect prepositions ("when planing which location to operate in"), and awkward phrasing ("the more reluctant are people to work in a place").
Punctuation: Some missing commas and incorrect capitalization (e.g., "United States" should be "the United States").
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify Arguments: Ensure each point is well-explained and directly supports your thesis.
Improve Transitions: Use smoother linking words and logical flow between ideas.
Simplify Sentences: Avoid overly complex phrasing; aim for clarity.
Proofread Carefully: Correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.
Strengthen Examples: Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support claims.
Overall, your essay has a good structure and addresses the prompt, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and coherence will significantly improve its quality. Keep practicing!