Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Marking Generated by Free AI Models

You are on the free tier, which uses free AI models. They can occasionally be slow, unstable, or temporarily unavailable. Balang Plus uses premium models for faster, more reliable, and higher-quality marking.

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is believed that adverts have an immense effect on people's motivation to purchase products,; however, there are others who advocate this the idea that costumerscustomers select their choices in advance and the adverts are useless. AltoughAlthough some special advertising methodemethods could makehave a negligible motivationeffect on people, I personally believe that generally advertisementadvertisements could change people's decisions to purchacepurchase specific products if they makeare made in ellaborateelaborate and sophisticated ways. theThe primary reason behind the group's idea who believe the advertisements are ineffective is thisthe matter that we are surrounded with differerntby different adverts. It might be owing to our brain's special operation to prune environmental distractors. Its beilieveIt is believed that the human brain elliminateeliminates some distactorsdistractors to riseincrease our concentration, and a larger voulumvolume of advertisements makemakes people thumbnumb to some typetypes of marketing. Although people pay negligibalenegligible attention to a major proportion of advertisements, some people advocate thisthe idea that some intrugeing intriguing advertising method point out could methods can highlight products and make them interesting forappealing to the market. theThe niche marketing method could be an illustrative example of an effective advertising method which trytries to target a specific share of the market. demandDemand-based marketing method is another method of advertising which trytries to target a specific partgroup of people who are trying to find their requiermentrequirements on social platforms. anontherAnother reason that is believed couldto make advertisment advertisements effective is thisthe reality that Ifif some advertising methodmethods and slogans beare more sophisticated, they could attract more people to purchase their product products from specialspecific companies. Some slogans are inspiring for people, like "enjoy joy your life," and could push your product to stand out from others. Hence, it is clearedclear that the the method of advertising could make it immensellyimmensely effective. inIn conclusion, altoughalthough there are alotsa lot of fruitless advertisements, I personally advocate thisthe group's idea that the method of advertising and its content could make them thoughtfully pursuasivepersuasive.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
4.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
weak
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Strengths:

    • You address both views as required by the prompt, discussing the argument that advertising is ineffective due to overexposure and the counterargument that some ads are still persuasive.
    • You provide examples (niche marketing, demand-based marketing) to support your opinion, which strengthens your argument.
    • Your position is clear: you believe that well-crafted advertising can still be effective.

  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the explanation of how niche marketing works could be expanded for clarity.
    • The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could summarize the key points more effectively.
    • Some statements are vague (e.g., "some special advertising methode could make negligible motivation on people"). Be more precise in your wording.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths:

    • The essay follows a logical structure: introduction, discussion of both views, and a conclusion.
    • You use some linking words (e.g., "Although," "Hence," "in conclusion") to connect ideas.

  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less smooth (e.g., "Its beilieve that human brain elliminate some distactors to rise our concentration").
    • Paragraph transitions could be smoother. For example, the shift between the two main viewpoints could be clearer.
    • Avoid run-on sentences (e.g., "the niche marketing method could be illustrative example of an effective advertising method which try to target specific share of market").

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths:

    • You use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., "niche marketing," "demand-based marketing," "sophisticated slogans").
    • There is an attempt at varied word choice (e.g., "intriguing," "negligible," "persuasive").

  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Several spelling and word choice errors reduce clarity (e.g., "methode" → "method," "elliminate" → "eliminate," "voulum" → "volume").
    • Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "make negligible motivation on people" → "have little effect on people").
    • Avoid redundancy (e.g., "immenselly effective" → "highly effective").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths:

    • You attempt complex sentence structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses).
    • Some sentences are grammatically correct and well-structured.

  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Many grammatical errors affect clarity (e.g., "costumers select their choices in advance" → "consumers make their choices beforehand").
    • Subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "human brain elliminate" → "the human brain eliminates").
    • Article misuse (e.g., "the niche marketing method" → "niche marketing").
    • Inconsistent verb tenses (e.g., "some people advocate this idea that some intriguing advertising method point out could products" → "some argue that certain advertising methods can highlight products").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Proofread for grammar and spelling – Use tools like Grammarly or read aloud to catch errors.
  2. Simplify complex sentences – If a sentence is too long, break it into two for clarity.
  3. Expand explanations – Provide more detail on how niche marketing and demand-based marketing work.
  4. Use more natural phrasing – Avoid direct translations from your native language; read model essays to improve fluency.
  5. Work on cohesion – Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear transitions.

Overall, your essay has a good structure and addresses the prompt, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and clarity will significantly improve your score. Keep practicing!