Question: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.
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Instead of renting a house, people tend to have their own house in some countries because of rising inflation as well as counting on whosetheir house as an investment. Although there are some reasons for people liveliving in these countries to do so, it can have down side negativeeffects on the economy, leading to more inflation.
Countries with increasing inflation offer lessfewer options to people to invest in, one of which is purchasing houses since it is a safe way to save their money. Simply put, when individuals buy property, not only do they maintain the value of their currency because of increases in whosetheir house value, but they also do not have to waste their money by paying monthly or annual rent price. Consider a retired person who receivereceives their pension after retirement, as an example. They can buy a house with their budget and by doing so, they can both keep their money and inherit their house forto their children atin the end. Therefore, they can keep goingup with the inflation with the least pressure of its drawbacks.
On the other hand, when the majority of people invest their fortune in property, they will be detereddeterred from contributing into other parts of a country’s economy. The amount of money which can be injected into manufacturing and industry, leading to turning the wheels of industry, recruiting more individuals as well, would easily go throughtowards buying houses. However, providing a situation thatwhere people can trust authorities to share their money in such fields requires a dynamic economy controlled by the government.
To cocludeconclude, while people in some countries prefer to buy a house rather than being a tenant, I am convinced that this would be economically inefficiantinefficient for the progress of manufacturing, despite the infaltioninflation which those countries may suffer from. But the onus is on the government to create a trustworthy situation that people can rely on.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your response addresses both parts of the prompt effectively, discussing why homeownership is important in some countries and evaluating whether this is positive or negative.
The ideas are relevant, but some arguments could be more developed. For example, the link between homeownership and inflation could be explained more clearly.
The conclusion is present but could be stronger by summarizing key points more succinctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphing (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion).
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less smooth (e.g., "counting on whose house as an investment" should be "considering homeownership as an investment").
Transition words are used ("On the other hand," "Therefore"), but more variety and natural phrasing would improve cohesion.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of vocabulary ("inflation," "investment," "inherit," "dynamic economy"), but some word choices are incorrect or unnatural ("whose house," "detered" should be "deterred").
Repetition occurs ("inflation" is overused; synonyms like "rising prices" could help).
Some phrases are unclear ("keep going with the inflation" could be "cope with inflation").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors:
Subject-verb agreement ("people live" should be "people living").
Incorrect word forms ("down side effects" should be "downside effects").
Unnatural phrasing ("the least pressure of its drawbacks" could be "minimize the impact of inflation").
Complex sentences are attempted but sometimes lack clarity. Proofreading would help correct minor mistakes.
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify Key Ideas – Ensure that the relationship between homeownership and inflation is explained more logically.
Improve Word Choice – Use more precise vocabulary and avoid awkward phrasing.
Strengthen Grammar – Review subject-verb agreement, word forms, and sentence structure.
Enhance Cohesion – Use smoother transitions and avoid repetition.
Overall, your essay presents a thoughtful argument but would benefit from clearer expression and more polished grammar. Keep practicing!