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Question: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines...

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In the 21st century, with the advent of social media and TV programs, people are more educated than they were in the last previous decades, particularly in the field of healthcare. This knowledge leads them to adopt self-healing practices or rely on traditional methods rather than visiting their family doctor or general practitioner. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages. I believe that in some cases it may be useful, or vice versa, it may be detrimental to an individual's health in case of indiscriminate use of drugs. On one hand, regarding advantages, it is often said by scientists that chemical drugs, regardless of dosage, are beyond the body's needs. This means that our natural body environment is capable of healing itself after having enough time to rest and consuming nutritious meals. It is convincing when it comes to common diseases, such as the flu and coldcolds. In this case, after experiencing symptoms, including runninga runny nose, headache, fever, and things onalong those lines, traditional remedies are a convenient alternative forto chemical drugs prescribed by doctors, or even in more serious cases, acupuncture is highly recommended by traditional practitioners. Therefore, not only would this alternative approach contribute to saving money, but it would also avoid the need to visit a family doctor. Additionally, it can enhance the levelstrength of our immune system, because daily news reports repeatedly highlightedhighlight that many people have become poisoned as a result of excessive usage of expired drugs offered in illegal marketmarkets, whether it is prescribed by doctors or not. On the flip side, medical experts have spent an inordinate number of years studying the body environment of humanhumans in order to detect and find solutions for different ailments relating to living organs. Hence, according to their research, indicating that minor symptoms should be considered as important as major ones since they can have negative outcomes. Consequently, it is advisable to keep your health in check regularly with your doctor and visit your general practitonerpractitioner on a regular basis, in order to recognise malfunctioning of internal organs at an early stage of development for further medical treatment. In this context, alternative medicine is undoubtedly not advisable. In conclusion, as discussed above, despite the fact that citizens have become more alert and aware of their natural body behaviour, thanks to the media; there are numerous things that they are still not aware of and are uncleanunclear to them, including medical-related subjects. Although some people have found that they can address common diseases with alternative medicines, like herbal and traditional methods, visiting their usual doctor is still important because there may be underlying conditions that can threaten their lives.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
strong
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
strong
Cohesion
strong
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a balanced view on the topic of alternative medicine versus conventional doctor visits. The writer clearly states their position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, some points could be more concise to avoid repetition (e.g., the discussion on minor symptoms and underlying conditions overlaps slightly). The conclusion is strong, reinforcing the main argument while acknowledging the complexity of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing and a coherent progression of ideas. Transition words ("On one hand," "On the flip side," "In conclusion") help guide the reader. However, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better readability (e.g., the second sentence in the introduction). Additionally, a few ideas are repeated (e.g., the dangers of expired drugs and the importance of doctor visits), which slightly affects cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with terms like "indiscriminate use of drugs," "traditional remedies," and "underlying conditions" demonstrating a good range. However, there are minor inaccuracies ("unclean to them" should be "unclear to them") and some awkward phrasing ("things on those lines" could be replaced with "similar symptoms"). More precise word choices in places would enhance clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, contributing to a natural flow. However, there are grammatical errors that affect clarity:

  • Subject-verb agreement: "This knowledge leads them to adopt self-healing practices" (correct) vs. "traditional remedies are convenient alternative" (should be "a convenient alternative").
  • Article usage: "in case of indiscriminate use of drugs" → "in cases of indiscriminate drug use."
  • Word form: "medical-related subjects" → "medicine-related subjects."
  • Tense consistency: "daily news reports repeatedly highlighted" → "highlight" (present tense for general statements).

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Reduce repetition: Some ideas (e.g., dangers of expired drugs, importance of doctor visits) are mentioned multiple times. Streamlining these points would improve clarity.
  2. Shorten complex sentences: Some sentences are overly long (e.g., the second sentence in the introduction). Breaking them into two would enhance readability.
  3. Proofread for grammar: Minor errors in articles, word forms, and tense consistency could be corrected with careful editing.
  4. Sharper topic sentences: Some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader more effectively.

Overall, the essay presents a well-reasoned argument with strong supporting points. With minor refinements in grammar, conciseness, and precision, it would be even more effective.