Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subj...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Many students prefer to study about various subjects beside their main subjects. Others believe that focusing on major topictopics can be more beneficial. Personally, I believe dedicating all time to main subjects can be more beneficialsbeneficial. Those who argue that students should focus on studying for their qualifications believe it can offer several advantages. This provides an excellent opportunity for individuals to explore all aspectaspects of their major and acquire skills related to their majors. It can make individuals more skilled workforces and competitive in the marketplace. If students dedicate all time to main subjects, they are more likely to secure better jobsjob opportunities with promising job prospects and higher incomes. This not only positively affects positively their future but also can significantly boostsboost their quality of liveslife. Therefore, when students study their main lessons in detail, they can secure better jobs and a prosperous future. On the other hand, others argue that students ought to learn a various subjects. Studying different subjectsubjects can lead to a well-rounded education. Comprehensive education broadens studentstudents’s horizons. They can gain new perspectives and ideas. By exploring new ideas, they can acquire new skills, including critical thinking and problem-solving skillskills, which are also essential for personal and professional growth. Additionally, studying different subjectsubjects can keep them aware of the latest advancements in different subjectfields, which is crucial in today’s world. In conclusion, although studying various subjects can offer some benefits like a well-rounded education, focusing on main subjects can bring more benefits like, such as making individuals more competitive and skilled workforceworkforces in job markets.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Many students prefer to study about various subjects beside their main subjects. Others believe that focusing on major topic can be more beneficial. Personally I believe dedicating all time to main subjects can be more beneficials.
Many students prefer to study various subjects alongside their main subjects, while others believe that focusing solely on their major can be more beneficial. Personally, I believe that dedicating all of one’s time to main subjects can be more advantageous.
Those who argue that students should focus on studying for their qualifications believe it can offer several advantages. This provides an excellent opportunity for individuals to explore all aspect of their major and acquire skills related to their majors. It can make individuals more skilled workforces and competitive in marketplace. If students dedicate all time to main subjects, they are more likely to secure better jobs opportunities with promising job prospects and higher incomes. This not only affects positively their future but also can significantly boosts their quality of lives. Therefore, when students study their main lessons in detail, they can secure better jobs and prosperous future.
Those who argue that students should concentrate on their qualifications highlight several advantages. This approach provides an excellent opportunity for individuals to explore all aspects of their major and acquire skills directly related to their field of study. It can make individuals more skilled members of the workforce and more competitive in the job market. If students dedicate all their time to their main subjects, they are more likely to secure better job opportunities with promising prospects and higher incomes. This not only positively impacts their future but can also significantly boost their quality of life. Therefore, when students study their main subjects in detail, they can secure better jobs and a prosperous future.
On the other hand, others argue that students ought to learn a various subjects. Studying different subject can lead to well-rounded education. Comprehensive education broadens student’s horizons. They can gain new perspectives and ideas. By exploring new ideas, they can acquire new skills, including critical thinking and problem-solving skill which are also essential for personal and professional growth. Additionally, studying different subject can keep them aware of latest advancements in different subject, which is crucial in today’s world.
On the other hand, some argue that students ought to learn a variety of subjects. Studying different subjects can lead to a well-rounded education. A comprehensive education broadens students’ horizons, allowing them to gain new perspectives and ideas. By exploring diverse topics, they can acquire new skills, including critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which are essential for personal and professional growth. Additionally, studying various subjects can keep them informed about the latest advancements in different fields, which is crucial in today’s rapidly changing world.
In conclusion, although studying various subjects can offer some benefits like well-rounded education, focusing on main subjects can bring more benefits like, making individuals more competitive and skilled workforce in job markets.
In conclusion, although studying various subjects can offer benefits such as a well-rounded education, focusing on main subjects can provide greater advantages, such as making individuals more competitive and skilled in the job market.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback

Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer statement of your own opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay presents arguments for both sides, but the reasoning could be expanded. For instance, the benefits of focusing solely on main subjects are mentioned, but specific examples or evidence to support these claims would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a different viewpoint. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using linking words like "Firstly," "Moreover," or "In contrast" can help guide the reader through your arguments.
  • Cohesion: Some sentences could be better connected. For instance, the transition from discussing job prospects to quality of life could be more explicit to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat limited. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and vividly. For example, instead of "more skilled workforces," you could use "a more competent and adaptable workforce."
  • Word Choice: There are minor errors in word choice, such as "beneficials" instead of "beneficial." Ensure that word forms are correct and consistent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are some grammatical errors that need attention. For example, "beside their main subjects" should be "besides their main subjects."
  • Grammar: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and plural forms, such as "a various subjects" which should be "various subjects" and "student’s horizons" which should be "students' horizons."

Overall Suggestions

  • Introduction and Conclusion: Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your opinion and summarizing the main points you will discuss. In the conclusion, reiterate your opinion more clearly and summarize the key arguments.
  • Examples and Evidence: Incorporate specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
  • Proofreading: Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will enhance clarity and readability.

By addressing these areas, your essay will be more aligned with the IELTS writing criteria and effectively communicate your ideas.