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Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
These days, companies are competing for the novelty of their products. Customer preferences may result in influence this competition in some ways. In my opinion, the novelty of products leads to people's convenience, which could be considered as a positive development. Companies consider individual preferences to reach their goals and make a fortune. People's demand changesdemands change over time, so cutting-edge technology takes responsibility for meeting current needs. For example, there is a rising demand for better camera zoom in cell phones, so Apple company annually introduces a new version of cell phones that coversaddresses the previous version's deficiencydeficiencies in the camera. So as As individuals' demands change, the companies' ideas changeevolve. There are competing views on whether this newness is a good or bad development. Generally, it is considered a positive development, because it facilitateseases life's difficulties bywith new-brand devices. Take online restaurants as an example,: they provide ready-made meals for people who are not able unable to eat out. Additionally, they are adding some offer options such as the fastest delivery and preparation. Although an increasing percentage of ordering fast -food brings someorders leads to diseases such as obesity and diabetes, I believe that new technology decreasesreduces daily life burdens. Another example, is Tesla's company concentrating focus on cars that don’t need drivers to travel even farlong distances. Consequently, disabled people can take a trip with no effort trips effortlessly by using these modern cars. To conclude, the companycompanies's competition for newness is a result of results from the changing preferences of individuals in differentover the years. As a result, companies will be are encouraged to respond to these requests, which finally ends inultimately leads to people's satisfaction. SoTherefore, this emphasis on novelty should be considered as a positive accidenttrend.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days, companies are competing for the novelty of their products. Customer preferences may result in this competition in some ways. In my opinion, the novelty of products leads to people's convenience which could be considered as a positive development.
These days, companies compete to offer innovative products. Customer preferences significantly influence this competition. In my opinion, product innovation enhances convenience, representing a positive development.
Companies consider individual preferences to reach their goals and make a fortune. People's demand changes over time, so cutting-edge technology takes responsibility for meeting current needs. For example, there is a rising demand for better camera zoom in cell phones, so Apple company annually introduces a new version of cell phones that covers the previous version's deficiency in camera. So as individuals' demands change, the companies' ideas change.
Businesses adapt to consumer demands to achieve success. As preferences evolve, companies utilize advanced technology to meet current needs. For instance, with growing demand for improved smartphone cameras, Apple releases annual upgrades addressing previous limitations. Thus, shifting consumer expectations drive corporate innovation.
There are competing views on whether this newness is a good or bad development. Generally, it is considered a positive development, because it facilitates life difficulties by new-brand devices. Take online restaurants as an example, they provide ready-made for people who are not able to eat out. Additionally, they are adding some options such as the fastest delivery and preparation. Although an increasing percentage of ordering fast food brings some diseases such as obesity and diabetes, I believe that new technology decreases daily life burdens. Another example, Tesla's company concentrating on cars that don’t need drivers to travel even far distances. Consequently, disabled people can take a trip with no effort by using these modern cars.
Opinions vary on whether this trend is beneficial. However, it is largely positive as innovative solutions simplify daily life. Online food delivery services exemplify this, offering convenience for those unable to dine out while providing options like rapid preparation and delivery. Although excessive fast food consumption may contribute to health issues, technological advancements generally reduce life's challenges. Similarly, Tesla's self-driving vehicles enable effortless travel, particularly benefiting individuals with disabilities.
To conclude, the company's competition for newness is a result of the changing preferences of individuals in different years. As a result, companies will be encouraged to respond to these requests which finally ends in people's satisfaction. So, this emphasis on novelty should be considered as a positive accident.
In conclusion, corporate competition for innovation stems from changing consumer preferences. This dynamic encourages companies to fulfill market demands, ultimately increasing satisfaction. Therefore, the focus on novelty should be viewed as a favorable trend.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing why businesses emphasize novelty in their products and presenting a clear opinion on whether this is positive or negative.
  • The examples you provide (Apple, online restaurants, Tesla) are relevant and help support your argument. However, some points could be further developed for stronger clarity. For instance, the link between novelty and convenience could be explained more explicitly.
  • The conclusion restates your position well, but it could be more concise and avoid repetition (e.g., "positive accident" is unclear—"positive development" would be better).

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing changing demands to the debate on whether novelty is positive could be better connected.
  • Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "new-brand devices" should be "newly branded devices") slightly affect flow.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., "cutting-edge technology," "facilitates life difficulties"). However, some word choices are awkward or incorrect (e.g., "positive accident" instead of "positive trend").
  • Avoid informal phrasing like "make a fortune"—more formal alternatives (e.g., "maximize profits") would be better.
  • Some redundancy occurs (e.g., "newness" is repeated; synonyms like "innovation" could be used).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity:
    • "Customer preferences may result in this competition in some ways." → Unclear phrasing; better: "This competition may stem from shifting customer preferences."
    • "So as individuals' demands change, the companies' ideas change." → Awkward structure; better: "Thus, as consumer demands evolve, companies adapt their products accordingly."
    • "An increasing percentage of ordering fast food brings some diseases" → Better: "The rise in fast-food consumption contributes to health issues."
  • Work on article usage ("the novelty of products" → "the novelty of their products") and subject-verb agreement.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify and Expand Ideas – Some arguments need deeper explanation (e.g., how novelty directly leads to convenience).
  2. Improve Transitions – Use more cohesive devices (e.g., "Furthermore," "Consequently") to guide the reader.
  3. Refine Word Choice – Replace informal or unclear phrases with more precise academic language.
  4. Proofread for Grammar – Review articles, prepositions, and sentence structure to minimize errors.

Overall, your essay presents a clear stance with relevant examples, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and coherence will strengthen it further. Keep practicing!