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Question: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their perso...

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These days, it is essential for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. While there are some drawbacks to taketaking risks, I think that itstheir benefits are more important and outweigh the drawbacks for several reasons that I will mention in this essay. To begin with, taking risks bringbrings more benefits for people, both in their professional and personal lives because of the importance of a chance to achieve their goals. When people tend to take risks in their careers, they may lay the foundation for more achievements. Take employees who are unfulfilled with their current job, for example; if they take risks and quit their job, they may not only find their favourite careers but also upgrade their positions, leading to greater income. Similarly, taking riskrisks in their personal lives can result in personal growth such as people who follow new hobbies, making them to experience new things and find their abilities, leading to shaping their character with more resilience. On the other hand, taking risks can sometimes bring negative consequences. When people decide to take risks in their lives, they may encounter several problems, needing to a lot of perseverance and determination. Having these qualities can be really difficult for certain people. For example, some businesses may go to bankruptcy bankrupt if they cannot overcome financial issues. In terms of personal life, some uncalculated risks may result in emotional distress or setbacks. Particularly, particularly when they make informed decisions about their relationships. In conclusion, although risks may pose challenges, lI believe that itstheir benefits are more significant and outweigh the disadvantages due to itstheir potential to make people pursue their goals, and personal development and success that come from taking risks are invaluable.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days, it is essential for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. While there are some drawbacks to take risks, I think that its benefits are more important and outweigh the drawbacks for several reasons that I will mention in this essay.
These days, it is essential for individuals to take risks, both in their professional and personal lives. While there are some drawbacks to taking risks, I believe that the benefits are more significant and outweigh the disadvantages for several reasons that I will discuss in this essay.
To begin with, taking risks bring more benefits for people, both in their professional and personal lives because of the importance of a chance to achieve their goals. When people tend to take risks in their careers, they may lay the foundation for more achievements. Take employees are unfulfilled with their current job, for example; if they take risks and quit their job, they may not only find their favourite careers but also upgrade their positions, leading to greater income. Similarly, taking risk in their personal lives can result in personal growth such as people who follow new hobbies, making them to experience new things and find their abilities, leading to shaping their character more resilience.
To begin with, taking risks offers numerous advantages for individuals in both their professional and personal lives, primarily due to the opportunities it creates for achieving their goals. When people take risks in their careers, they often lay the groundwork for greater accomplishments. For instance, employees who feel unfulfilled in their current jobs may choose to take the risk of quitting, which could lead them to discover their ideal careers and even advance to higher positions, resulting in increased income. Similarly, taking risks in personal life can foster personal growth; for example, individuals who explore new hobbies may experience new challenges and uncover their hidden talents, ultimately shaping their character and making them more resilient.
On the other hand, taking risks can sometimes bring negative consequences. When people decide to take risks in their lives, they may encounter several problems, needing to a lot of perseverance and determination. Having these qualities can be really difficult for certain people. For example, some businesses may go to bankruptcy if they cannot overcome financial issues. In terms of personal life, some uncalculated risks may result in emotional distress or setbacks. Particularly, when they make informed decisions about their relationships.
On the other hand, taking risks can sometimes lead to negative consequences. When individuals decide to take risks, they may encounter various challenges that require a great deal of perseverance and determination. Possessing these qualities can be particularly difficult for some people. For example, businesses may face bankruptcy if they cannot navigate financial difficulties. In personal life, poorly calculated risks can result in emotional distress or setbacks, especially when individuals make uninformed decisions regarding their relationships.
In conclusion, although risks may pose challenges, l believe that its benefits are more significant and outweigh the disadvantages due to its potential to make people pursue their goals, and personal development and success that come from taking risks are invaluable.
In conclusion, although taking risks may present challenges, I believe that the benefits are far more significant and outweigh the disadvantages. The potential for individuals to pursue their goals and the invaluable personal development and success that arise from taking risks are essential components of a fulfilling life.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Strengths: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in professional and personal lives. It provides examples to support the argument that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
  • Areas for Improvement: The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement. While it states that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, it could be more explicit in outlining the main points that will be discussed. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points made in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Transitional phrases like "To begin with" and "On the other hand" help guide the reader through the argument.
  • Areas for Improvement: Some sentences could be more logically connected. For instance, the transition between discussing professional and personal risks could be smoother. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths: The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as "achievements," "perseverance," and "emotional distress."
  • Areas for Improvement: There are a few awkward phrases, such as "Take employees are unfulfilled" and "making them to experience new things." These could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the essay's lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good command of basic grammar, with mostly correct sentence structures.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are some grammatical errors, such as "take risks bring more benefits" (should be "taking risks brings more benefits") and "needing to a lot of perseverance" (should be "requiring a lot of perseverance"). Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of gerunds and infinitives.

Overall Suggestions

  • Clarify the thesis statement to clearly outline the main points of the essay.
  • Improve coherence by using more linking words and ensuring logical connections between ideas.
  • Enhance lexical resource by using more varied vocabulary and correcting awkward phrases.
  • Review grammatical structures, focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of gerunds and infinitives.

By addressing these areas, the essay will present a more compelling and polished argument.