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Question: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In today's world, unfortunately, an increasing wrong trend of using medicines without consultation with doctors, or trying unsafe methods can be seen. I firmly believe this is a negative approcahapproach as it can lead to various negative impacts, both individually and socially. To commence with, there might be several personal consequences which are not negligible by noany means. For instance, there is a term called drug resistance, resulting from using antibiotics without having enough expertise. When an individual’s body faces this problem, it is extremely difficult to treat the illness as microorganisms are stronger. As a result, these personspeople have to spend more money and time to cure a problem which could have been treated much more easily if they had undergone treatment with the supervision of their doctors. On the other hand, many social problems can be emerged emerge as a result of this trend. After a while, this approach can bebecome more conventional among different age cohortsgroups. One of the potential results would be side effects of using drugs, leading to some major problems like seizureseizures or CVA. Treating these medical problems is not an easy task, requiring a notable amount of money, knowledge, time, and medical facilities. Providing all of these required factors putputs a huge stretchstrain on the health care system. In addition, thisthese negative consequences could even could be worse when it comes to talking about pregnant mothers, as some medicines can lead to deliverthe delivery of children with abnormalities. To sum up, using drugs and hazardous methods instead of visiting and consulting with an expert doctor is a negative trend, and could lead to some irreparable health issues.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In today world, unfortunately, an increasing wrong trend of using medicines without consultation with doctors, or trying unsafe methods can be seen. I firmly believe this is a negative approcah as it can lead to various negative impacts, both individually and socially.
In today's world, unfortunately, there is an increasing trend of using medicines without consulting doctors or trying unsafe methods. I firmly believe this is a negative approach as it can lead to various harmful consequences, both for individuals and society.
To commence with, there might be several personal consequences which are not negligible by no means. For instance, there is a term called drug resistance, resulting from using antibiotics without having enough expertise. When an individual’s body faces this problem, it is extremely difficult to treat the illness as microorganisms are stronger. As a result, these persons have to spend more money and time to cure a problem which could have been treated much easily if they had undergone treatment with the supervision of their doctors.
To begin with, there are several serious personal consequences that should not be overlooked. For instance, the misuse of antibiotics without proper medical guidance can lead to drug resistance. When this occurs, treating illnesses becomes extremely difficult as microorganisms develop stronger defenses. Consequently, individuals may need to spend significantly more time and money treating conditions that could have been resolved more easily under professional supervision.
On the other hand, many social problems can be emerged as a result of this trend. After a while this approach can be more conventional among different age cohorts. One of the potential results would be side effects of using drugs, leading to some major problems like seizure or CVA. Treating these medical problems is not an easy task, requiring a notable amount of money, knowledge, time and medical facilities. Providing all of these required factors put a huge stretch on health care system. In addition, this negative consequences even could be worse when it comes to talking about pregnant mothers as some medicines can lead to deliver of children with abnormalities.
Moreover, this trend can lead to numerous social problems. Over time, such practices may become more common across different age groups. One potential outcome is the severe side effects of improper drug use, which can result in serious medical conditions such as seizures or strokes. Treating these complications requires substantial resources, including medical expertise, time, and facilities, placing an enormous burden on healthcare systems. Furthermore, the consequences are particularly alarming for pregnant women, as certain medications can lead to childbirth complications or congenital abnormalities.
To sum up, using drugs and hazardous methods instead of visiting and consulting with an expert doctor is a negative trend, and could lead to some irreparable health issues.
In conclusion, self-medication and the use of unsafe methods instead of seeking professional medical advice represent a dangerous trend that can result in irreversible health issues.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance (negative development). However, the introduction could be more precise—avoid phrases like "unfortunately" and "wrong trend," as they sound overly subjective. Instead, state the issue more neutrally.
  • The arguments are relevant, but some points could be developed further. For example, the social consequences (e.g., strain on healthcare) are good but need stronger examples or data to support them.
  • The conclusion restates your position but could be more impactful by summarizing key points rather than just repeating the stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, "On the other hand" is used correctly, but phrases like "After a while this approach can be more conventional" are unclear.
  • Some sentences are overly complex or awkwardly phrased (e.g., "an increasing wrong trend of using medicines without consultation with doctors"). Simplify for clarity.
  • Paragraphing is appropriate, but topic sentences could be stronger to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

  • There are some strong vocabulary choices (e.g., "drug resistance," "irreparable health issues"), but some words are misused or unnatural (e.g., "negative approcah," "conventional among different age cohorts").
  • Avoid informal phrasing like "today world" (should be "In today’s world").
  • Some redundancy exists (e.g., "negative impacts, both individually and socially" could be more concise).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Several grammatical errors affect clarity:
    • "an increasing wrong trend" → "an increasing trend of using alternative medicines"
    • "can be emerged" → "can emerge"
    • "put a huge stretch on health care system" → "puts a huge strain on the healthcare system"
  • Work on subject-verb agreement (e.g., "this negative consequences" → "these negative consequences").
  • Some sentences are fragmented or overly long, making them hard to follow.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Refine the introduction – Be more neutral and precise.
  2. Strengthen examples – Use real-world cases or statistics to support claims.
  3. Improve sentence structure – Simplify complex sentences and correct grammar.
  4. Enhance cohesion – Use clearer transitions between ideas.
  5. Expand the conclusion – Summarize key arguments instead of just restating the opinion.

Overall, your essay has a strong argument but needs refinement in clarity, grammar, and development of ideas. Keep practicing!