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Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
The extent to which discovering environmental issues has been a topic of debate among somemany. The first viewpoint posits that the main problem is connected to the loss of somecertain kinds of flora and fauna while others, including myself, hold the view that other environmental problems such as pollution and climate change are more important. Regarding the first view, it is said that biodiversity has a vital impact on ecosystem balance as they have theirit has its roles such as pollination, water purification, and nutrient cycling, which are all necessary for human survival. Consequently, the extinction of keystone species can trigger detrimental effects, disrupting the entire ecosystem, and leading to irreversible damage. If we cannot manage these serious problems, we will face the eradication of many species like the dinosaurs. Shifting to the second school of argumentthought, they believe that in the modern areaera, a majority of causesactivities have negative effects on the environment. As a case of this in point, the form of human liveslife has changed over time; as a result, they produce more pollution due to their activities in manufacturing or using private cars. Moreover, research demonstrates that every year humans cut down millions of trees in favorfavour of producing paper or toilet paper that they use every day; therefore, this course of action will impact tothe loss of somecertain species. On the other side of the spectrum, environmental problems are more widespread compared to the extinction of particular species of plants and animals. Despite the first view of the argument, they are of the opinion that in case of while the eradication of species is a significant concern, however, larger issues such as pollution, and deforestation are more crucial. In this This point of view posits that the root of all these problems areis related to humans. Furthermore, if every individual with change changes their way of life, not only will they will pave the way for reducing problems, but also for mitigating the extinction of flora and fauna. In conclusion, it is logical to accept that the loss of somecertain animals and plants has become an urgent matter amongfor some; however, other problems are more important because all of society is responsible for decreasing them in order to protect ecosystems.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
The extent to which discovering environmental issues has been a topic of debate among some. The first viewpoint posits that the main problem is connected to the loss of some kinds of flora and fauna while others including myself hold the view that other environmental problems such as pollution and climate change are more important.
The extent to which environmental issues have been discovered has been a topic of debate among many. The first viewpoint posits that the main problem is connected to the loss of certain types of flora and fauna, while others, including myself, hold the view that other environmental problems, such as pollution and climate change, are more pressing.
Regarding the first view, it is said that biodiversity has a vital impact on ecosystem balance as they have their roles such as pollination, water purification, and nutrient cycling, which are all necessary for human survival. Consequently, the extinction of keystone species can trigger detrimental effects, disrupting the entire ecosystem, and leading to irreversible damage. If we cannot manage these serious problems, we will face the eradication of many species like dinosaurs.
Regarding the first view, it is argued that biodiversity has a vital impact on ecosystem balance, as various species play essential roles in processes such as pollination, water purification, and nutrient cycling, all of which are necessary for human survival. Consequently, the extinction of keystone species can trigger detrimental effects, disrupting entire ecosystems and leading to irreversible damage. If we cannot manage these serious issues, we may face the eradication of many species, similar to the fate of the dinosaurs.
Shifting to the second school of argument, they believe that in the modern area, a majority of causes have negative effects on the environment. As a case of this point, the form of human lives has changed over time as a result they produce more pollution due to their activities in manufacturing or using private cars. Moreover, research demonstrates every year humans cut down millions of trees in favor of producing paper or toilet paper that they use every day therefore, this course of action will impact to loss of some species.
Shifting to the second perspective, proponents believe that in the modern era, numerous human activities have negative effects on the environment. For instance, the way humans live has changed over time, resulting in increased pollution due to activities such as manufacturing and the use of private cars. Moreover, research demonstrates that every year, millions of trees are cut down to produce paper and toilet paper, which are used daily. This course of action contributes to the loss of various species.
On the other side of the spectrum, environmental problems are more widespread compared to the extinction of particular species of plants and animals. Despite the first view of argument, they are of the opinion that in case of the eradication of species is a significant concern, however, larger issues such as pollution, and deforestation are more crucial. In this point of view posits that the root of all these problems are related to humans. Furthermore, every individual with change their way of life not only they will pave the way for reducing problems but also mitigating the extinction of flora and fauna.
On the other hand, environmental problems are more widespread compared to the extinction of specific species of plants and animals. While the eradication of species is indeed a significant concern, larger issues such as pollution and deforestation are arguably more crucial. This perspective posits that the root of all these problems is related to human activity. Furthermore, if individuals change their lifestyles, not only will they help reduce these issues, but they will also contribute to mitigating the extinction of flora and fauna.
In conclusion, it is logical to accept that the loss of some animals and plants has become an urgent matter among some, other problems are more important because all of society is responsible for decreasing them in order to protect ecosystems.
In conclusion, while the loss of certain animals and plants is an urgent matter for some, other environmental problems are more important. Society as a whole is responsible for addressing these issues in order to protect ecosystems effectively.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on environmental problems: the loss of species and other issues like pollution and climate change. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer statement of the writer's own opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay provides a reasonable explanation of both viewpoints. However, the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or data to support the claims, particularly in the discussion of pollution and climate change.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear structure that separates the discussion of the two viewpoints. However, the transition between discussing the loss of species and other environmental issues could be smoother.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved. Phrases like "on the other side of the spectrum" and "shifting to the second school of argument" help guide the reader, but more varied and precise linking words could enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Range of Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "biodiversity," "ecosystem balance," and "deforestation." However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "the form of human lives has changed over time," which could be expressed more clearly.
  • Accuracy: There are minor errors in word choice and usage, such as "in favor of producing paper" which could be more accurately expressed as "for the production of paper."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the complexity of the writing. However, some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified for clarity.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few grammatical errors, such as "every individual with change their way of life" which should be "every individual should change their way of life." Attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage would improve the grammatical accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Your Opinion: Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion to provide a more cohesive argument.
  2. Use Specific Examples: Incorporate specific examples or data to support your points, particularly when discussing pollution and climate change.
  3. Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
  4. Simplify Complex Sentences: Review sentence structures to ensure clarity and avoid overly complex sentences.
  5. Proofread for Errors: Pay attention to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance the overall quality of the writing.