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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Modern life have had has established such strong changechanges in human life that nobody atin the past was not able to imagine it. Advertisement is one of the most powerful of them, the importance of which its importance is not conceals forconcealed from people. This newborn phenomenon havehas had a lot of applications in life and can create various lifestylelifestyles, and during thetheir lifetime, some people are influenced by the extremely persuadingpersuasive impact of advertising and anything that it offers, while the others' behavior behaviour is casual and apathetic and do not listen to these. In fact, advertising playplays a vital role in modern society. InOn one hand, the rapid speed of enormous and various productions by factories’ need needs to extend the market, and inat this time; just, only ads can identify their productionproducts to buyers. For example, entering toa big mall or small store is associated bywith numerous goods withfrom different brands, which every have each with its own quality, and speciallyespecially advertisement will help to glazeattract attention. On the other hand, adads cause to posse competition between producerproducers, and this fight can have such extreme power which change individualthat it changes individuals’s tastes and will act acts as a force for them to improve production’s quality. Despite the importance of this human’s creature creation, there are lotmany advantages and disadvantages that, without adequate educationseducation, societies' shopping culture will be move to towards being customaries thatcustomary, which can be harmful. EnvironmentEnvironmental damage, increasing pollution, and industrial changes are some of these dangerousdangers for featurethe future. During thesethis competition between persuadingpersuasive advertising orand not, there are personsindividuals who prefer not to do not listen to ad sounds and want to continue a typical life. In fact, the calm life and shopping according to necessary needs is their slangs .slang. They used to apply advertisement use advertisements just forto introduce new and qualified things and let others continue their unsustainable lifelives. In conclusion, however, advertising the position notof advertising is undeniable, we should access theits positive approach of it aspects and finally just let it to introduce notrather than control us.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Modern life have had established such strong change in human life that nobody at past was not able to imagine it. Advertisement is one of the most powerful of them which its importance not conceals for people. This newborn phenomenon have had a lot applications in life and can create various lifestyle and during the lifetime, some people influenced the extremely persuading impact of advertising and anything that it offers while the others behavior is casual and apathetic and do not listen to these.
Modern life has undergone such significant changes that people in the past could hardly have imagined it. Advertising is one of the most powerful forces in this transformation, and its importance is well recognized by society. This relatively new phenomenon has numerous applications in our lives and can shape various lifestyles. While some individuals are profoundly influenced by the persuasive impact of advertising and the products it promotes, others remain indifferent and do not pay attention to these messages.
In fact, advertising play a vital role in modern society. In one hand the rapid speed of enormous and various productions by factories’ need to extend market and in this time; just ads can identify their production to buyers. For example, entering to big mall or small store associated by numerous goods with different brands which every have own quality and specially advertisement will help to glaze. On the other hand, ad cause to posse competition between producer and this fight can such extreme power which change individual’s tastes and will act as a force for them to improve production’s quality.
In fact, advertising plays a vital role in modern society. On one hand, the rapid production of a vast array of goods by factories necessitates the expansion of markets, and advertising is essential for connecting these products with potential buyers. For example, entering a large mall or a small store is often accompanied by a multitude of goods from different brands, each with its own unique qualities, and advertising helps to highlight these features. On the other hand, advertising fosters competition among producers, and this rivalry can be so intense that it influences individual tastes and compels companies to improve the quality of their products.
Despite the importance of this human’s creature, there are lot advantages and disadvantages that without adequate educations, societies shopping culture will be move to being customaries that can be harmful. Environment damage, increasing pollution and industrial changes are some of these dangerous for feature. During these competition between persuading advertising or not, there are persons who prefer to do not listen to ad sounds and want to continue typical life. In fact the calm life and shopping according necessary needs is their slangs .They used to apply advertisement just for introduce new and qualified things and let others continue their unsustainable life.
Despite the significance of this human invention, there are numerous advantages and disadvantages associated with it. Without adequate education, societies may develop a shopping culture that becomes detrimental. Environmental damage, increasing pollution, and industrial changes are some of the dangers that threaten our future. Amidst the competition between persuasive advertising and those who resist it, there are individuals who prefer to ignore advertisements and continue living a more traditional lifestyle. For them, a calm life focused on fulfilling essential needs is paramount. They tend to view advertisements as a means to introduce new and high-quality products while allowing others to maintain their unsustainable habits.
In conclusion, however advertising position not undeniable, we should access the positive approach of it and finally just let it to introduce not control us.
In conclusion, while the role of advertising is undeniable, we should strive to adopt a positive perspective on it. Ultimately, we must allow advertising to inform us rather than control our choices.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
4
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
weak
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
weak
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on advertising and provides an opinion. However, the argument could be more clearly articulated. The essay lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the writer's stance on the issue.
  • The examples provided, such as entering a mall or store, are relevant but could be more specific to strengthen the argument.
  • The conclusion attempts to summarize the discussion but could be more decisive in stating the writer's opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay's structure is somewhat disorganized, making it difficult to follow the argument. Clear paragraphing with topic sentences would improve the flow.
  • Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are weak. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
  • The essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion, with the introduction setting up the discussion and the conclusion summarizing the key points and the writer's opinion.

Lexical Resource

  • The vocabulary used is varied, but there are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward phrasing (e.g., "glaze" instead of "glance," "posse competition" instead of "foster competition").
  • Some expressions are unclear or incorrect, such as "human’s creature" and "slangs." Aim for more precise and accurate language use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement issues ("Modern life have had," "this newborn phenomenon have had"), incorrect verb forms, and sentence fragments.
  • Sentence structures are often awkward and unclear, which affects the overall readability of the essay. Aim to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, ensuring they are grammatically correct.
  • Pay attention to punctuation, as there are several missing or misplaced commas and periods.

Recommendations

  • Revise the essay to include a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
  • Organize the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details.
  • Use more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Improve grammatical accuracy by reviewing subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence structure.
  • Enhance coherence by using appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas.