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Question: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their perso...

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It is said that risk-taking plays a significant role not only in people’s career paths but also in their personal lives. Making progress in life and enhancing certain skills are two of the main advantages of taking risks that clearly outweigh losing some benefits temporarily as the major drawback. Making risky decisions can lead to advancement. This derives from the fact that a risk taker is subjected to new situations, requiring new knowledge and skills. Achieving success in such situations drives people to learn requirednecessary knowledge or skills. For example, an individual resigns from a dead-end job to find a well-paid job. This person needs to develop their knowledge or acquire new skills to become employable for a well-paid job. As a result, he/she earns more money in the new job, leading to a higher quality of life, which is the epitome of progress in professional life. Furthermore, doingtaking risky actions can boost the quality of people’s personal lifelives. This happens because risk takers improve specific skills through risky undertakings, which are thoroughlyhighly helpful in their personal lives. Extreme sports exemplify itthis. In such sports, such as mountain climbing, people are strugglingfaced with challenges. To overcome these difficulties, they try to create new solutions. Doing so has direct effects on their problem-solving skillskills which isare vital for life. These people are more likely to tackle their difficulties in daily affairs, including their relationships, more easily. On the other hand, taking a chance may cause some benefitsdrawbacks for a period. In risky actions, individuals may have to leave outbehind their status quo to reach a goal. For example, in the case of changing a job, people may lose their livelihood for the short- term until they are hired in a new job. This issue may make them stressed out; however, it is temporary and finallyultimately the risk pays off. In conclusion, risky decisions can lead to a lack of benefits for a certain period, which can be detrimental. However, making progress and learning new skills are two of the most important prosadvantages that overshadow the mentioned consdisadvantages.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is said that risk-taking plays a significant role not only in people’s career paths but also in their personal lives. Making progress in life and enhancing certain skills are two of the main advantages of taking risks that clearly outweigh losing some benefits temporarily as the major drawback.
It is often said that risk-taking plays a significant role not only in individuals' career paths but also in their personal lives. The advantages of taking risks, such as making progress in life and enhancing certain skills, clearly outweigh the temporary drawbacks of losing some benefits.
Making risky decisions can lead to advancement. This derives from the fact that a risk taker is subjected to new situations, requiring new knowledge and skills. Achieving success in such situations drives people to learn required knowledge or skills. For example, an individual resigns from a dead-end job to find a well-paid job. This person needs to develop their knowledge or acquire new skills to become employable for a well-paid job. As a result, he/she earns more money in the new job, leading to a higher quality of life, which is the epitome of progress in professional life.
Making risky decisions can lead to significant advancement. This is because risk-takers are exposed to new situations that require them to acquire new knowledge and skills. Achieving success in these situations motivates individuals to learn the necessary competencies. For example, an individual may resign from a dead-end job in search of a better-paying position. In this case, the person must develop their knowledge or acquire new skills to become employable in a more lucrative role. As a result, they earn a higher salary in their new job, leading to an improved quality of life, which epitomizes progress in their professional journey.
Furthermore, doing risky actions can boost the quality of people’s personal life. This happens because risk takers improve specific skills through risky undertakings, which are thoroughly helpful in their personal lives. Extreme sports exemplify it. In such sports, such as mountain climbing, people are struggling with challenges. To overcome these difficulties, they try to create new solutions. Doing so has direct effects on their problem-solving skill which is vital for life. These people are more likely to tackle their difficulties in daily affairs, including their relationships, more easily.
Furthermore, engaging in risky activities can enhance the quality of individuals' personal lives. This occurs because risk-takers develop specific skills through their adventurous pursuits, which are immensely beneficial in their everyday lives. Extreme sports serve as a prime example. In activities such as mountain climbing, participants face various challenges. To overcome these obstacles, they must devise innovative solutions. This process directly enhances their problem-solving skills, which are vital for navigating life's complexities. Consequently, these individuals are more adept at addressing challenges in their daily affairs, including their relationships.
On the other hand, taking a chance may cause some benefits for a period. In risky actions, individuals may have to leave out their status quo to reach a goal. For example, in the case of changing a job, people may lose their livelihood for the short-term until they are hired in a new job. This issue may make them stressed out; however, it is temporary and finally the risk pays off.
On the other hand, taking risks may result in temporary setbacks. In pursuing risky endeavors, individuals may need to leave their comfort zones to achieve their goals. For instance, when changing jobs, people might experience a temporary loss of income until they secure a new position. This situation can lead to stress; however, it is important to recognize that such challenges are often short-lived, and ultimately, the risks taken can yield substantial rewards.
In conclusion, risky decisions can lead to a lack of benefits for a certain period, which can be detrimental. However, making progress and learning new skills are two of the most important pros that overshadow the mentioned cons.
In conclusion, while risky decisions may lead to a temporary lack of benefits, which can be detrimental, the potential for personal and professional growth, as well as the acquisition of new skills, are significant advantages that far outweigh the aforementioned drawbacks.
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Overall Band Score
8
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
strong
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
strong
Grammar Range
strong
Cohesion
strong
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Strengths: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in professional and personal lives. The examples provided, such as changing jobs and engaging in extreme sports, are relevant and help illustrate the points made.
  • Areas for Improvement: While the essay covers the main points, it could benefit from a more explicit statement of your position in the introduction. Although the conclusion reiterates that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, a clearer thesis statement at the beginning would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphing that separates different ideas. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the use of examples helps to maintain coherence.
  • Areas for Improvement: Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing professional life to personal life could be more seamless. Consider using linking words or phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths: The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with terms like "risk-taking," "advancement," and "problem-solving skills" effectively conveying the intended meaning.
  • Areas for Improvement: While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there is room for more varied and sophisticated language. Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and expressions to demonstrate lexical flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with mostly accurate sentence structures and verb tenses. Complex sentences are used effectively to convey detailed ideas.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are minor grammatical errors, such as "cause some benefits for a period," which should be "cause a loss of benefits for a period." Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to enhance grammatical accuracy.

Overall Impression

The essay provides a well-rounded discussion of the topic, with relevant examples and a clear conclusion. To improve, focus on refining the introduction with a clear thesis statement, enhancing transitions between ideas, and expanding your lexical range. Additionally, pay attention to minor grammatical errors to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.