Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...

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Some people believe that when somecertain professionals, such as doctors and engineers, complete their studies, they should work where they had been were trained, while others believe that they should be free to make a decision decisions about their future. Despite the former opinion, I think that freedom is important, and professionals should have the right to choose where they want to work or live. On the one hand, some people believe that as governments allocate an array of budgets a significant budget and facilities for studyingtraining such professionals, it is reasonable to expect them to stay and serve for the training countrycountry where they were trained. Particularly if they study atin their own country, they will be responsible for the development of their countrynation. In other words, when professionals do not immigrate to emigrate abroad, the government would not be required need to takerecruit new labour forces, leading to economic improvement in the economy, as foreign workers may require new trainingsadditional training. For example, in many developing countries, there is a shortage of healthcare professionals. Requiring doctors to stay because not only can they alleviate this issue, but theyit can also can help governments not fund foravoid funding the training of new employees. On the other hand, some individuals think that people should be free to decide about their future because they have triedworked hard to achieve their goals, and it is the result of their perseverance and determinationsdetermination. SoTherefore, they should have the right to choose where they wish to live. Allowing professionals to gomove to other countries, can lead to personal growth, because as they will face with encounter more job opportunities, experiencegain new skills, making them to be a great expertise which and become highly skilled experts who can be useful for all of the worldcontribute globally. Take Prof. Samii, one of the most renowned neurosurgeons in the world, for example; although he graduated from Iran, he went to Germany for receiving more further training and finallyeventually became profProf. Samii. In conclusion, while serving for training the country where they were trained or owntheir home country can be goodfulfilling and giveprovide a sense of satisfaction, lI firmly believe that assince some countries might be poor and may not able unable to support professionals to receivein achieving higher positions, so it is acceptable for them to immigrateemigrate to other nations as they may to pursue their aimsgoals, leading them to personal growth.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay:

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, the response could be more balanced in discussing the opposing view. The argument for requiring professionals to stay in their home country is somewhat underdeveloped compared to the argument supporting freedom of movement. More specific examples or elaboration on the economic and social benefits of retaining professionals would strengthen this side of the discussion. The conclusion is clear but could be more nuanced, acknowledging potential counterarguments to the writer's stance.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphing and logical progression. However, some sentences are overly long or awkwardly phrased, which affects readability. For example:

  • "Particularly if they study at their own country, they will be responsible for development of their country." (This could be reworded for clarity.)
  • "Allowing professionals to go to other countries, can lead to personal growth because they will face with more job opportunities, experience new skills, making them to be a great expertise which can be useful for all of the world." (This sentence is convoluted and could be simplified.)

Linking words are used, but some transitions could be smoother. For instance, "Despite the former opinion" is a bit abrupt; a phrase like "While some hold this view, I believe..." might flow better.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward word choices:

  • "an array of budgets" → "significant funding" or "substantial resources" would sound more natural.
  • "making them to be a great expertise" → "helping them become highly skilled professionals" would be clearer.
  • "may not able to support" → "may not be able to support" (grammar error).

Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "training country" appears multiple times; synonyms like "home country" or "country of education" could vary the language).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity:

  • "should work where they had been trained" → "should work in the country where they were trained" (tense issue).
  • "they will face with more job opportunities" → "they will have access to more job opportunities" (incorrect preposition).
  • "making them to be a great expertise" → "helping them become experts" (incorrect infinitive and noun usage).

Sentence structure is sometimes problematic, with run-on sentences or fragments. For example:

  • "So they should have the right to choose where they wish to live." (This could be combined with the previous sentence for better flow.)

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Balance the discussion: Expand on the argument for requiring professionals to stay, providing more examples or data.
  2. Clarify sentences: Break up long sentences and rephrase awkward constructions.
  3. Proofread for grammar: Pay attention to prepositions, verb forms, and article usage.
  4. Vary vocabulary: Use synonyms to avoid repetition.
  5. Smooth transitions: Improve the flow between ideas with better linking words or phrasing.

Overall, the essay presents a clear opinion and covers the task requirements, but refining language and structure would significantly improve its quality.