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Question: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
There is an ongoing debate about whether it is better to take care of ourselves when we are sick and use from housemade homemade treatments, or we have to should see doctors and ask for their counsoaltscounsel. In today's digital era, everybody has an easy access to a sheer numberamount of information through the internet and social platforms. Besides that, people's awarenesses have been awareness has increased over the passedpast decades. The more people recievereceive higher education degrees, the more knowledgableknowledgeable they are about different categories, including medical treatments and medicines. Moreover, people learn from their expriances,experiences; for instance, every individual gets a cold several times a year, and based on the previous expriencesexperiences, they are aware that medical doctors usually offer the same medicines for some sortcertain types of colds, so they prefer to use their own treatments. Opposed that, On the other hand, others believe that, firstly, alternative medicines and treatments are not an intellectualintelligent way to treat ourselfsourselves. They refer to developing countries whichwhere, because of uncontroleduncontrolled usage of antibiotics, the resistance against antibioticantibiotics has been increased in their bodies, and it is a terrible implicationconsequence of their wrong behavioursbehaviour. Secondly, alternative medicines may be effective in some cases, but they could have medical interferencesinteractions with other kinds of drugdrugs, and consequently, itthis could lead to undeniable hurtsharm. From my perspective, every person is responsible for the health of the community, which is consisted consists of us, and the way we act has a direct and indirect impacts on the further future generations. We have to should visit doctors whenever it is needednecessary and use doctors' updated knowledge to recievereceive the best medication.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is an ongoing debate about whether it is better to take care of ourselves when we are sick and use from housemade treatments, or we have to see doctors and ask for their counsoalts.
There is an ongoing debate about whether it is better to rely on home remedies when we are ill or to consult doctors and seek their professional advice.
In today's digital era, everybody has an easy access to sheer number of information through internet and social platforms . Besides that, people awarenesses have been increased over the passed decades. The more people recieve higher education degrees, the more knowledgable they are about different categories including medical treatments and medicines. Moreover, people learn from their expriances, for instance, every individual gets cold several times a year, and based on the previous expriences, they are aware that medical doctors usually offer the same medicines for some sort of colds, so they prefer to use their own treatments.
In today's digital era, everyone has easy access to vast amounts of information through the internet and social media. Additionally, public awareness has increased significantly over the past decades. As more people obtain higher education degrees, they become more knowledgeable in various fields, including medical treatments and medications. Moreover, individuals learn from experience. For example, most people catch colds several times a year, and based on past experiences, they recognize that doctors often prescribe similar medications for common colds. Consequently, many prefer to use their own remedies.
Opposed that, other believe that, firstly, alternative medicines and treatments are not an intellectual way to treat ourselfs. They refer to developing countries which because of uncontroled usage of antibiotics, the resistance against antibiotic has been increased in their bodies and it is a terrible implication of their wrong behaviours. Secondly, alternative medicines may be effective in some cases, but they could have medical interferences with other kinds of drug, and consequently, it could lead to undeniable hurts.
On the other hand, some argue that self-treatment is not a rational approach. They point to developing countries where the uncontrolled use of antibiotics has led to increased antibiotic resistance, a serious consequence of improper medical practices. Furthermore, while home remedies may be effective in some cases, they can interact negatively with other medications, potentially causing significant harm.
From my perspective, every person is responsible for the health of the community which is consisted of us, and the way we act has a direct and indirect impacts on the further generations. We have to visit doctors whenever it is needed and use doctors' updated knowledge to recieve the best medication.
From my perspective, every individual has a responsibility toward public health, as society consists of all of us. Our actions have direct and indirect effects on future generations. Therefore, it is essential to consult doctors when necessary and rely on their up-to-date expertise to receive the most effective treatment.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument (alternative medicine vs. conventional doctors). However, the introduction could be clearer in stating your position.
  • Some points are underdeveloped, such as the claim that "people learn from their experiences" with colds—this could be expanded with more concrete examples or evidence.
  • The conclusion is strong, but the main argument could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion), but some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less smooth.
  • Transition words (e.g., "Opposed that," "Moreover," "Secondly") are used, but some are incorrect or unnatural (e.g., "Opposed that" should be "On the other hand").
  • Some ideas are not clearly linked—for example, the shift from education levels to personal experience with colds is abrupt.

Lexical Resource

  • There are several spelling and word choice errors (e.g., "counsoalts" → "counsel," "expriances" → "experiences," "implication" → "consequence").
  • Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "housemade treatments," "medical interferences").
  • The range of vocabulary is decent, but more precise and academic word choices would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are frequent grammatical errors, including:
    • Subject-verb agreement ("people awarenesses have been increased" → "people's awareness has increased").
    • Incorrect prepositions ("easy access to sheer number of information" → "easy access to a vast amount of information").
    • Article misuse ("the resistance against antibiotic" → "resistance to antibiotics").
    • Tense errors ("the passed decades" → "the past decades").
  • Sentence structure is sometimes unclear or fragmented (e.g., "the health of the community which is consisted of us").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify your thesis in the introduction—state whether you think the trend is positive or negative.
  2. Expand on key points with more examples or explanations (e.g., why alternative medicine might be risky).
  3. Improve transitions between ideas for better flow.
  4. Proofread carefully to correct grammar, spelling, and word choice errors.
  5. Use more formal and precise vocabulary (e.g., "self-treatment" instead of "housemade treatments").

With these adjustments, your essay will be clearer, more cohesive, and more persuasive. Keep practicing!