Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...
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There is an ongoing debate about howthe effectiveness of advertisement. While some argue that nowadaysthese commercials are no longer have their impacts on individuals, others advocate for the significanteffects of advertisement. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people.
On the one hand, it is undeniableundeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisementadvertisements thatthey watchedwatch. The science of experts who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising. Most ofthem are industrial psychologists who studiedstudy human behavioursbehaviour and the techniques of persuadingpeople. In this way, they know the exact colorscolours and words to attract customers, and even their needs areobvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to manyonline platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube and TikTok, which make it easy tofor advertising agencyagencies to drawdifferent groupgroups of customers. On the other hand, despite above arguments, other group argue that because of the public awareness of
On the other hand, despite above arguments, other group othersargue that because of the public awareness ofthese commercialcommercials's facts, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice thatadvertisements aredo not always show the truth ofabout the products,; they are actually someenhanced with special effects, for . For example, the fast-food restaurants, theirimages advertised by fast-food advertised images restaurantsare often not often quiet quitethe same as thereality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, theses these advertisements have become far too normal for viewers, 5oso they prefer to skip them instead of watching them or orpurchase the premium version to avoid advertising.
In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising still has still its thepower to attract customersor not. Although some believe that people are aware that advertisements are sometimes hide the truth, and therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods are used onin advertising meet the market marketdemands. lassertI assert that commercial advertising has the most vital impact on the humans.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, the second body paragraph is incomplete and contains a repetition ("On the other hand, despite above arguments, other group argue that because of the public awareness of these commercial's facts..."). This affects clarity and coherence.
Some arguments lack depth. For example, the point about "industrial psychologists" could be expanded with more concrete examples or studies to strengthen your argument.
The conclusion restates your opinion but could be more concise and avoid repetition.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased or fragmented (e.g., "nowadays these commercials are no longer have their impacts on individuals").
The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. For example, the second body paragraph starts with a repetition and lacks smooth flow.
Some sentences are too long and could be broken down for better readability (e.g., "The science of experts who create them is a major reason for power of advertising.").
Lexical Resource
There are several grammatical and word choice errors:
"nowadays these commercials are no longer have their impacts" → "nowadays, these commercials no longer have an impact"
"the science of experts who create them is a major reason for power of advertising" → "the expertise of advertisers plays a major role in the power of advertising"
"their needs are obvious to them" → unclear phrasing; consider rewording.
Some spelling mistakes: "5o" instead of "so," "lassert" instead of "I assert."
Vocabulary is generally appropriate, but some phrases could be more natural (e.g., "far normal" → "too common").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent grammatical errors:
Subject-verb agreement issues ("other group argue" → "other groups argue").
Incorrect word forms ("advertising agency" → "advertising agencies").
Missing articles ("the public awareness" → "public awareness").
Some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly structured (e.g., "they are actually some special effects").
Suggestions for Improvement
Revise for clarity and conciseness – Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence flows logically.