Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...
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There is an ongoing debate about whether professionals should stay in the place where they have learnedobtained their qualifications, or they should be free to change their locations and choose anywhere they prefer to work.
Some people have always been passionate about helping their peers and they believe that everybody has to shouldserve people from their homtownhometown and their country. Governments provide facilities to invest onin different majorsfields, and people who have the opportunity to increaseenhance their skills, should make it up give backin the future by using their abillities in order abilitiesto support their country. For instance, when studentststudents study medicine at the university, they participate in the attendclasses to increase their knowledge,. Moreover, there areis free accessesaccess to laboaotorieslaboratories and equipmentsequipment which helphelps them to fosterdevelop their talents. The point is that lotsmany of these thinsresources are provided by taxes, and ordinary people pay these taxetaxes. So when they graduate as medical doctors, they owe it to the society to support them with health and care services. On the other hand, others mentionargue that human ishumans are created free and they have the authorityright to do whatever they want and to live wheneverwherever they like. They say that it is not fair to obligateforce them to live in a certain place jutjust because they have been trained there. For example, consider a baby whichwho was born in a remote place inpart of the world,; he tried hard to make progressesprogress in his career, and now he is able to travel to the developed countries and enjoy his achivementsachievements in a new location. It is something that should not be judged.From my perspective, every individual is responsible for their livesown life. There mustshould not be any obligation about these kindkinds of decisions. itIt is crucial to respect each ideaopinion and give the autorithyfreedom to everyone to determine their routesown path in life.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided a clear opinion, which is good. However, some points could be developed further for better clarity and depth.
The examples (e.g., medical students using government-funded resources, a person moving from a remote area) are relevant but could be explained more clearly to strengthen your argument.
Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased, which affects the flow of ideas. For example:
"Some people have always been passionate about helping their peers and they believe that everybody has to serve people from their hometown and their country." (This could be reworded for better clarity.)
"The point is that lots of these thins are provided by taxes, and ordinary people pay these taxe." (Spelling and grammar errors here.)
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure (introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion). However, transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Some sentences are too long and could be broken into shorter, clearer statements.
The conclusion is clear but could be more impactful by summarizing the key points before stating your opinion.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of vocabulary, but some words are misused or misspelled (e.g., "abillities", "thins", "taxe", "autorithy").
Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "make it up in the future by using their abillities"). Try to use more precise and natural expressions.
Repetition of words like "support" and "country" could be avoided by using synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including:
Subject-verb agreement ("human is created free" → "humans are created free")
Incorrect word forms ("obligate them" → "oblige them")
Missing articles ("developed countries" is correct, but "remote place" should be "a remote place")
Unnecessary words ("they participate in the classes to increase their knowledge" could be simplified to "they attend classes to gain knowledge")
Sentence structure is sometimes confusing (e.g., "consider a baby which was born in remote place in the world, he tried hard to make progresses in his career").
Suggestions for Improvement
Proofread for grammar and spelling – Use tools like Grammarly or ask a native speaker to review your work.
Simplify and clarify sentences – Avoid overly complex phrasing where a simpler one would work better.
Expand on examples – Explain how government funding for education creates an obligation, or why personal freedom should outweigh national service.
Use more linking words – Words like "however,""furthermore," and "in contrast" can improve flow.
Vary vocabulary – Use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., "professionals" instead of "doctors and engineers" multiple times).
Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion and a clear opinion, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure will improve clarity and coherence. Keep practicing!