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Question: It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To...

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It is an imperative for mankind to save money for the future, and I align my self myself with this statement. These daydays saving money seems unimportant and hard. People work to live better lives, but the amount of their salaries might not be as much as they need. Some times Sometimes incomes are not sufficient for living conveniently. Consequently, people don't have enough money to save for the future. More overMoreover, young people that haswho have just started to work, don't get paid enough to save extra money. Take university students as an example. They need to pay for their education, and if they receive extra money, it won't be helpful due to the high amount of purchasepurchases they have. But what if an unpredictable thing happens to them? On the other hand, people should always separate a part of their salary for the future. Firstly, if you force yourself not to buy unnecessary stuffthings or not to go on unnecessary trips, you can save some money. When you are not prepared for an unpredictable event, this money would save you. Secondly, without saving money, you would not have the ability to buy expensive things. For instance, when you decide to buy a house, you need to save money for years in order to be prepared. Finally, saving money may allowsallow you to change your job whenever you want. Indeed, when you have some money saved, it allows you to be unemployementunemployed for a while, until you find the best career without rush. In conclusion, although it might seem hard or sometimes impossible to save money, it is beneficial and sometimes crucial.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is an imperative for mankind to save money for future, and I align my self with this statement.
It is imperative for mankind to save money for the future, and I align myself with this statement.
These day saving money seems unimportant and hard. People work to live better lives but the amount of their salaries might not be as much as they need. Some times incomes are not sufficient for living conveniently. Consequently, people don't have enough money to save for future. More over, young people that has just started to work, don't get paid enough to save extra money. Take university students as an example. They need to pay for their education and if they receive extra money, it won't be helpful due to high amount of purchase they have. But what if an unpredictable thing happens to them?
These days, saving money seems unimportant and challenging. People work to improve their lives, but the amount of their salaries may not be sufficient to meet their needs. Sometimes, incomes are not adequate for comfortable living. Consequently, many individuals do not have enough money to save for the future. Moreover, young people who have just started working often do not earn enough to set aside extra funds. Take university students, for example. They need to pay for their education, and any additional income they receive may not be helpful due to the high costs they face. But what happens if an unpredictable event occurs?
On the other hand, people should always separate a part of their salary for future. Firstly, if you force yourself not to buy unnecessary stuff or not to go on unnecessary trips, you can save some money. When you are not prepared for an unpredictable event, this money would save you. Secondly, without saving money, you would not have the ability to buy expensive things. For instance when you decide to buy a house you need to save money for years in order to be prepared. Finally, saving money may allows you to change your job whenever you want. Indeed when you have some money saved, it allows you to be unemployement for a while, until you find the best career without rush.
On the other hand, people should always allocate a portion of their salary for the future. Firstly, if you discipline yourself to avoid unnecessary purchases or trips, you can save some money. When you are unprepared for an unexpected event, these savings can be invaluable. Secondly, without saving money, you may not have the ability to make significant purchases. For instance, when you decide to buy a house, you need to save money for years to be adequately prepared. Finally, saving money allows you the flexibility to change jobs whenever you wish. Indeed, having some savings enables you to be unemployed for a while until you find the best career opportunity without feeling rushed.
In conclusion, although it might seem hard or sometimes impossible to save money, it is beneficial and sometimes crucial.
In conclusion, although it may seem difficult or sometimes impossible to save money, it is beneficial and often crucial for financial stability and future opportunities.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of saving money for the future, particularly for young people. It provides a clear stance, agreeing with the statement.
  • Ideas and Examples: The essay presents relevant ideas, such as the challenges of saving money due to insufficient income and the benefits of saving for unforeseen events, purchasing expensive items, and job flexibility. However, the examples could be more detailed to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved. Phrases like "on the other hand" and "for instance" help in transitioning between ideas, but more varied linking words could enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the topic. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as "unpredictable event" and "save money," which could be varied to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
  • Word Choice: Some word choices are slightly awkward or informal, such as "stuff" and "unemployement," which should be corrected to "items" and "unemployment."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, which is good. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as "align my self" (should be "align myself") and "these day" (should be "these days").
  • Punctuation and Spelling: There are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas, and spelling mistakes like "More over" (should be "Moreover") and "has" (should be "have" in "young people that has").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand Examples: Provide more detailed examples to support your points, which will make your argument more convincing.
  2. Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
  3. Improve Vocabulary: Vary your word choice to avoid repetition and demonstrate a broader lexical resource.
  4. Correct Grammar and Spelling: Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and correct spelling errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument with relevant points but would benefit from more detailed examples, improved cohesion, and attention to language accuracy.