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Question: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. W...

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It is true that in some specific areas and religions having a house is more preferred rather than renting one. While there are various reasons for this trend, such as showing the financial condition of families, I believe that this is a negative situation by havingdue to some detrimental effects, and individualindividuals should live in a place that feelfeels like a home regardless of owingowning it or not. There are several reasons why some individuals and households prioritize buybuying a house for themselves. First of all, children have a strong feeling of ownership of objects or devices, like having their favorite toys and not sharing them, and this feeling is still persists in humans even in their adulthoodsadulthood; therefore, therefore owing owning a house is a crucial matter for people. Secondly, in some countries, owning a house is a sign of being wealthywealth, so people are more willing to buy instead of renting to boast about their financial status, and even this situation encourageeven encourages individuals to have more than one. Finally, in some religions, any changes in decoration, such as the color of walls, are illegalprohibited, hence the rentals renters prefer to own a place thatwhere they can make any change necessarynecessary changes. As a result, these mentioned reasons have essentiala significant impact on this case. In my opinion, the benefits of owning a place are vital, such as saving a huge amount of money by not paying monthly rent; however, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. The most important one is when people do not havinghave enough money to own a place; in this situation, individuals feel a great pressure on themselves, and this would cause several damages, like depression, anxiety, and feeling disappointingdisappointment, and even the relationshiprelationships of couples would be affected. For example, in many developing countries, owning a place is important, so young couples who cannot afford to buy houses, face challenges in their relationshiprelationships, which sometimes driveleads them to divorce. Due to these causes, I believe this trend is unproductive, and the humanity should prioritize their happiness,; indeed, they better to should live in a place that feelfeels like a home to avoid any problems. In conclusion, in some particular areas, owning a house is more popular than renting. While the intense feeling of ownership and other factors make a significant contribution contribute significantly to this; in my view, this situation is negative, by having harmful influences on individualindividuals’s well-being and their relationships.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is true that in some specific areas and religions having a house is more preferred rather than renting one. While there are various reasons for this trend, such as showing the financial condition of families, I believe that this is a negative situation by having some detrimental effects, and individual should live in a place that feel like a home regardless of owing it or not.
It is true that in some specific areas and cultures, owning a home is often preferred over renting. While there are various reasons for this trend, such as demonstrating financial stability, I believe it has negative consequences, and individuals should prioritize living in a place that feels like home, regardless of ownership.
There are several reasons why some individuals and households prioritize buy a house for themselves. First of all, children have a strong feeling of ownership of objects or devices, like having their favorite toys and not sharing them, and this feeling is still in humans even in their adulthoods, therefore owing a house is a crucial matter for people. Secondly, in some countries, owning a house is sign of being wealthy, so people are more willing to buy instead of renting to boast about their financial status, and even this situation encourage individuals to have more than one. Finally, in some religions, any changes in decoration, such as the color of walls, are illegal, hence the rentals prefer to own a place that they can make any change necessary. As a result, these mentioned reasons have essential impact on this case.
There are several reasons why some individuals prioritize buying a home. First, humans naturally develop a sense of ownership from childhood, which persists into adulthood, making homeownership psychologically significant. Second, in certain societies, owning property is seen as a status symbol, encouraging people to purchase homes—sometimes multiple—to display wealth. Additionally, in some religious contexts, tenants are restricted from making modifications to rented properties, leading many to prefer ownership for greater freedom in personalizing their living space. These factors collectively influence the preference for homeownership.
In my opinion, the benefits of owning a place are vital, such as saving a huge amount of money by not paying monthly rent; however, the drawbacks outweigh advantages. The most important one is when people not having enough money to own a place; in this situation, individuals feel a great pressure on themselves and this would cause several damages, like depression, anxiety and feeling disappointing, and even the relationship of couples would be affected. For example, in many developing countries owning a place is important, so young couples who cannot afford to buy houses, face challenges in their relationship which sometimes drive them to divorce. Due to these causes, I believe this trend is unproductive, and the humanity should prioritize their happiness, indeed they better to live a place that feel like a home to avoid any problems.
In my opinion, while owning a home has advantages, such as long-term financial savings, the drawbacks are more significant. The most pressing issue arises when individuals cannot afford to buy a home, leading to financial strain, mental health problems like anxiety and depression, and even marital conflicts. For instance, in many developing countries, the pressure to own property has strained relationships among young couples, sometimes resulting in divorce. Therefore, I believe this trend is counterproductive, and people should prioritize their well-being by choosing a living situation that fosters happiness, whether rented or owned.
In conclusion, in some particular areas owning a house is more popular than renting. While the intense feeling of ownership and other factors make a significant contribution to this; in my view, this situation is negative by having harmful influences on individual’s well-being and their relationships.
In conclusion, while cultural, psychological, and financial factors drive the preference for homeownership in certain regions, I argue that this trend is detrimental to personal well-being and relationships. People should focus on finding a home that provides comfort and stability, irrespective of ownership status.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Strengths:

    • You addressed both parts of the prompt (reasons for homeownership preference and your opinion on whether it is positive or negative).
    • You provided multiple reasons for the trend (financial status, cultural/religious factors, psychological ownership).
    • Your opinion is clearly stated, and you supported it with examples (mental health issues, relationship strains).
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Some ideas are unclear or awkwardly phrased (e.g., "children have a strong feeling of ownership of objects or devices"—this could be reworded for clarity).
    • The example about religion and decoration changes is not fully developed—explain how this connects to homeownership more clearly.
    • The conclusion is strong but could be more concise.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths:

    • The essay has a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion).
    • You used linking words (First of all, Secondly, Finally, In my opinion, In conclusion), which helps with flow.
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Some sentences are overly long and could be split for better readability.
    • The transition between ideas could be smoother (e.g., "As a result, these mentioned reasons have essential impact on this case." feels abrupt).
    • Repetition of "owning a house" could be reduced with synonyms (e.g., "homeownership").

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths:

    • You used a range of vocabulary (detrimental effects, financial status, unproductive, well-being).
    • Some good idiomatic expressions (outweigh advantages, feel like a home).
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Some word choices are unnatural ("boast about their financial status" → "display their wealth").
    • Minor errors ("owing" instead of "owning", "individual should live" → "individuals should live").
    • Avoid informal phrasing ("feel like a home" could be "feels like home").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths:

    • You attempted complex sentences, showing a range of structures.
    • Generally correct subject-verb agreement and tense usage.
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Some grammatical errors ("people not having enough money" → "people who do not have enough money").
    • Article errors ("the humanity" → "humanity").
    • Awkward phrasing ("this situation encourage individuals" → "this situation encourages individuals").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify and refine ideas – Some points need better explanation (e.g., the religious aspect).
  2. Improve sentence structure – Break long sentences and correct grammatical errors.
  3. Enhance vocabulary – Use more precise and natural word choices.
  4. Smooth transitions – Ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next.

Overall, your essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt, but refining clarity, grammar, and vocabulary will strengthen it further. Keep practicing!