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Question: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subj...

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Many university students have opposing views on whether learning and passing additional subjects outside their curriculum is beneficial. Some of them assume it is more vital to pay full attention to one area. This essay will examine both perspectives and explain why I believe learning extra subjects can be helpfuladvantageous. To begin with, some students argue that they should dedicate their wholeentire time and focus only on their main major. One of the main reasons for this belief is that instead of spending a significant amount of time studying irrelevant lessons, it is better to concentrate only on one area. Consequently, they will become more expertproficient and getgain deeper insights in their own field. Furthermore, many believe studying other subjects, such as the history of their nation, is pointless, as it is not practical. Instead, students can spend their time researching and gainingacquiring more and more knowledge in their field. On the other hand, a number of students think it can be really beneficial, since learning new and different concepts not only broadens their horizons but expands their knowledge aboutunderstanding of various phenomena. For example, if computer science students take some courses relevant to medical science, they can pursue their education in interdisciplinary areas, such as medical engineering, and even have better occupationalcareer prospects. In conclusion, many students believe learning extra subjects is not effective because they are pointless and becoming more expert in one area is more important. However, others, myself included, think this can introduce us to other worldsrealms of science.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
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Many university students have opposing views on whether learning and passing additional subjects outside their curriculum is beneficial. Some of them assume it is more vital to pay full attention to one area. This essay will examine both perspectives and explain why I believe learning extra subjects can be helpful.
Many university students hold opposing views on whether learning and passing additional subjects outside their curriculum is beneficial. Some believe it is more vital to focus solely on their major. This essay will examine both perspectives and explain why I believe that learning extra subjects can be advantageous.
To begin with, some students argue that they should dedicate their whole time and focus only on their main major. One of the main reasons for this belief is that instead of spending a significant amount of time studying irrelevant lessons, it is better to concentrate only on one area. Consequently, they will become more expert and get deeper in their own field. Furthermore, many believe studying other subjects, such as history of their nation, is pointless, as it is not practical. Instead, students can spend their time researching and gaining more and more knowledge in their field.
To begin with, some students argue that they should dedicate their entire time and attention to their main field of study. One of the primary reasons for this belief is that instead of spending a significant amount of time studying seemingly irrelevant subjects, it is more effective to concentrate exclusively on one area. Consequently, they can become more proficient and gain a deeper understanding of their chosen field. Furthermore, many believe that studying other subjects, such as the history of their nation, is pointless, as it may not have practical applications. Instead, students could invest their time in researching and acquiring more knowledge within their specific discipline.
On the other hand, a number of students think it can be really beneficial, since learning new and different concepts not only broadens their horizons but expands their knowledge about various phenomena. For example, if computer science students take some courses relevant to medical science, they can pursue their education in interdisciplinary areas, such as medical engineering, and even have better occupational prospects.
On the other hand, a number of students contend that learning new and diverse concepts can be highly beneficial, as it not only broadens their horizons but also enhances their understanding of various phenomena. For example, if computer science students take courses related to medical science, they can pursue interdisciplinary education in fields such as medical engineering, which may lead to improved career prospects.
In conclusion, many students believe learning extra subjects is not effective because they are pointless and becoming more expert in one area is more important. However, others, myself included, think this can introduce us to other worlds of science.
In conclusion, while many students believe that learning extra subjects is ineffective because they are irrelevant and that becoming an expert in one area is more important, others, myself included, argue that this approach can open doors to new realms of knowledge and innovation.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects. It also provides a clear opinion, aligning with the task requirements.
  • Position: Your position is clear, as you state that learning extra subjects can be beneficial. However, it would be more effective if you elaborated on why you hold this opinion in the conclusion, providing a stronger justification.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Each paragraph logically follows the previous one.
  • Cohesion: Use of cohesive devices is generally effective, such as "To begin with," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion." However, consider varying your linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary used is appropriate and relevant to the topic. Phrases like "broadens their horizons" and "interdisciplinary areas" demonstrate a good range of vocabulary.
  • Precision: While the vocabulary is generally precise, there are instances where word choice could be improved for clarity. For example, "irrelevant lessons" could be rephrased to "subjects outside their primary focus."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, which enhances readability. Complex sentences are used effectively.
  • Grammar: There are minor grammatical errors, such as "get deeper in their own field," which should be "gain deeper knowledge in their own field." Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct preposition use.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand on Your Opinion: In the conclusion, provide more detailed reasoning for your opinion to strengthen your argument.
  2. Vary Cohesive Devices: Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
  3. Refine Vocabulary: Ensure precision in word choice to convey your ideas more clearly.
  4. Proofread for Minor Errors: Review your essay for minor grammatical errors to enhance accuracy.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task and presents a balanced discussion. With some refinements in vocabulary precision and grammatical accuracy, it can be further improved.