Question: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subj...

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Many university students have opposing views on whether learning and passing additional subjects outside their curriculum is beneficial. Some of them assume it is more vital to pay fullyfull attention to one area. This essay will examine both perspectives and explain why I believe learning extra subjects can be helpful. To begin with, some students argue that they should dedicate their whole time and focus only on their main major. One of the main reason regard to reasons regarding this belief is that instead of spending a significant amount of time to studying irrelaventirrelevant lessons, it is better to concentrate only on one area. Consequently, they will become more expert onin their own field. Furthermore, many believe studingstudying other subjects, such as the history of their nation, is pointless, as they it is not practical. Instead, students can spend their time to research researching and gaingaining more and more knowledge onin their field. OneOn the other hand, a number of students think it can be really beneficial, since learning new and different concepts not only broadenbroadens their horizenshorizons but expandexpands their knowledge about various phenomenonsphenomena. For example, if people computer science students take some courses relevant to medical science, they can pursue their education in interdisciplineryinterdisciplinary areas, such as medical engineering, and even have better occupationoccupational prospects. In conclusion, many students believe learning extra subjects is not effective because they are pointless and becoming more expert in one area is more important. However, others, includedincluding myself, think this can introduce us to other worlds of science.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
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Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects.
  • The writer provides a clear opinion, stating that learning extra subjects can be beneficial.
  • The essay could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support the arguments presented, particularly in the paragraph supporting the view of focusing solely on the main subject.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion.
  • Transition words and phrases such as "To begin with," "Furthermore," and "On the other hand" are used to guide the reader through the arguments, but some transitions could be smoother.
  • The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be strengthened by reiterating the benefits of learning additional subjects.

Lexical Resource

  • The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some attempts at using more advanced words like "interdisciplinary" and "phenomenons."
  • There are some spelling errors, such as "irrelavent" (irrelevant), "horizens" (horizons), and "phenomenons" (phenomena).
  • The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the argumentation and clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences.
  • There are several grammatical errors, such as "One of the main reason regard to this belief" (should be "One of the main reasons for this belief") and "as they it is not practical" (should be "as it is not practical").
  • Subject-verb agreement and article usage need attention, for example, "studing" (studying) and "interdisciplinery" (interdisciplinary).

Suggestions for Improvement

  • Provide more specific examples or evidence to support each viewpoint, which would strengthen the arguments.
  • Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
  • Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures to enhance the essay's lexical resource and grammatical range.
  • Ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical to improve coherence and cohesion.