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Question: In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the h...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Nowadays, people tend to search aboutfor the history of architecture where they reside in that location due to their sense of patriotism, which could have many different purposepurposes for this interest, and some ways for searchingto search in this topic. The main reason offor the trend toward reading about architecturearchitectural history is the personal desire to learinglearn and improve our knowledge. One primary reason offor this interest is that people who have a passion for the data of ancient buildings want to fill the gap in the history of their nation in this subject. For instance, Iranian people have an astounding background in the style of architecture, which is a valuable source of study and research from ordinary people to specialists. Secondly, many documentaries about the structure of ancient urban areas have changed our taste aboutfor historical subjects, which is aan important motivator among people who are fans of history, particularly the history of buildingbuildings such as palaces and monuments. On the other hand, there has been a stunning development in the methodmethods of research in terms of architecture that makes access to data easier in comparison with the past. In fact, some modern equipment for researching, such as the technology of three dimensions, can makecreate a clear image from the historical periods for people who want to find out more in this field. Moreover, if individuals want to read inabout this area, there are numerous dacumentiresdocumentaries about this topic. In conclusion, from my knowledge, studying the history likeof architecture can be beneficial for people who not only must be encouraged to research but also theirwhose discoveries must be seen by officials.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Nowadays, people tend to search about the history of architecture where they reside in that location due to their sense of patriotism, which could have many different purpose for this interest, and some ways for searching in this topic.
Nowadays, people tend to research the history of architecture in the locations where they reside due to their sense of patriotism. This interest can serve various purposes, and there are multiple ways to explore this topic.
The main reason of the trend toward reading about architecture history is the personal desire to learing and improve our knowledge. One primary reason of this interest is that people who have a passion for the data of ancient buildings want to fill the gap in the history of their nation in this subject. For instance, Iranian people have an astounding background in the style of architecture, which is a valuable source of study and research from ordinary people to specialists. Secondly, many documentaries about the structure of ancient urban areas have changed our taste about historical subjects which is a important motivator among people who are fans of history, particularly the history of building such as palaces and monuments.
The main reason for this trend is the personal desire to learn and expand one's knowledge. One primary motivation is that individuals passionate about ancient buildings aim to fill gaps in their nation's architectural history. For example, Iranians have a remarkable architectural heritage, which serves as a valuable subject of study for both ordinary people and specialists. Additionally, many documentaries about ancient urban structures have influenced public interest in historical topics, serving as a significant motivator for history enthusiasts, particularly those fascinated by buildings such as palaces and monuments.
On the other hand, there has been a stunning development in the method of research in terms of architecture that makes access to data easier in comparison with the past. In fact, some modern equipment for researching such as the technology of three dimensions can make a clear image from the historical periods for people who want to find out in this field. Moreover, if individuals want to read in this area, there are numerous dacumentires about this topic.
On the other hand, research methods in architecture have advanced significantly, making data more accessible than in the past. Modern technologies, such as 3D modeling, can vividly reconstruct historical periods for those interested in this field. Furthermore, numerous documentaries are available for individuals who wish to learn more about architectural history.
In conclusion, from my knowledge, studying the history like architecture can be beneficial for people who not only must be encouraged to research but also their discoveries must be seen by officials.
In conclusion, studying architectural history can be highly beneficial. People should not only be encouraged to research this subject but their findings should also be recognized by authorities.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
weak
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
weak
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for the growing interest in the history of houses/buildings and suggesting research methods. However, the response could be clearer and more focused.
  • Some ideas are repetitive (e.g., patriotism and personal interest overlap). The examples (e.g., Iranian architecture) are relevant but need better integration into the argument.
  • The conclusion is somewhat vague and does not fully summarize the key points.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion), but transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt.
  • Some sentences are overly complex or unclear, affecting readability (e.g., "due to their sense of patriotism, which could have many different purpose for this interest").
  • The second body paragraph shifts abruptly from reasons to research methods, making the flow less smooth.

Lexical Resource

  • There is a good range of vocabulary (e.g., astounding background, valuable source, modern equipment), but some words are misspelled (dacumentires → documentaries, learing → learning).
  • Some phrases are awkward or unnatural ("fill the gap in the history of their nation in this subject").
  • Repetition of architecture history could be varied (e.g., historical buildings, structural heritage).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Several grammatical errors affect clarity:
    • Subject-verb agreement ("the main reason ... is the personal desire to learing" → to learn).
    • Article misuse ("a important motivator" → an important motivator).
    • Incorrect prepositions ("search about" → search for).
  • Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper structure ("if individuals want to read in this area, there are numerous dacumentires about this topic").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Ideas: Separate reasons (e.g., cultural pride, personal curiosity) and research methods (e.g., documentaries, 3D technology) more distinctly.
  2. Improve Cohesion: Use linking words (Furthermore, Additionally, For example) to connect ideas smoothly.
  3. Proofread Carefully: Correct spelling and grammar mistakes to enhance clarity.
  4. Refine Conclusion: Summarize key points more effectively instead of introducing new ideas.

Overall, the essay has potential but needs refinement in clarity, grammar, and organization.