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Question: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subj...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In the modern world, everything is changing quickly. While having a qualification was a fundamental requirement in the past decade, nowadays, individuals are less enthusiastic about obtaining itone. Some students claim that they have a tendency to learn different subjects fromoutside of their basic courses, but others think that the most important thing is to focus on main subjects. This essay will elaborate on both viewpoints and the author’s opinion. On the one hand, proponents of learning different subjects assert that they are interested in learning novel skills outside of their syllabuses because it will create a broad perspective for them. For instance, it is obvious that some skills can be taught through reading novels and other books. So, it creates a chance for students who study different fields fromof literature to develop their knowledge and skills by reading different types of books. In addition, the education period provides the best opportunities due to access to numerous sources of datainformation. On the other hand, some students believe that they should spend all of their time on their main subjects, because it has a significant impact on their educational path. Moreover, they claim that it prepares them for finding a suitable career in the future. As a result, they pay more attention to the main syllabuses, which have a crucial role in their work lives. In my opinion, despite the fact that focusing on main courses is a vital issue, this essay argues that students should be multifaceted, because some abilities will be developed by learning new subjects. For example, they can improve their problem-solving skills by participating in certain classes, which isare essential for both their work and private lives. In conclusion, this essay has elaborated on different views that include both learning new skills and concentrateconcentrating on main subjects. Also, it has offered the author’s opinion that argues learning outside basic syllabuses has a significant role in individualindividuals’s lives.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In the modern world, everything is changing quickly. While having a qualification was a fundamental requirement in the past decade, nowadays, individuals are less enthusiastic about obtaining it. Some students claim that they have a tendency to learn different subjects from their basic courses, but others think that the most important thing is to focus on main subjects. This essay will elaborate on both viewpoints and the author’s opinion.
In the modern world, everything is changing rapidly. While having a qualification was a fundamental requirement in the past decade, nowadays, individuals are less enthusiastic about obtaining one. Some students claim that they have a tendency to learn different subjects beyond their core courses, while others believe that the most important thing is to focus on their main subjects. This essay will elaborate on both viewpoints and present the author’s opinion.
On the one hand, proponents of learning different subjects assert that they are interested learning novel skills outside of their syllabuses because it will create a broad perspective for them. For instance, it is obvious that some skills can be taught through reading novels and other books. So, it creates a chance for students who study different fields from literature to develop their knowledge and skills by reading different types of books. In addition, the education period provides the best opportunities due to access to numerous sources of data.
On the one hand, proponents of learning diverse subjects assert that they are interested in acquiring new skills outside of their syllabuses, as this broadens their perspectives. For instance, it is evident that some skills can be developed through reading novels and other literature. This creates opportunities for students who explore various fields, allowing them to enhance their knowledge and skills by engaging with different types of texts. Additionally, the educational period provides the best opportunities due to access to numerous sources of information.
On the other hand, some students believe that they should spend all of their time on their main subjects, because it has a significant impact on their educational path. Moreover, they claim that it prepares them for finding a suitable career in the future. As a result, they pay more attention to the main syllabuses which have a crucial role in their work lives.
On the other hand, some students believe that they should dedicate all their time to their main subjects, as these have a significant impact on their educational paths. Moreover, they argue that focusing on core subjects prepares them for suitable careers in the future. As a result, they prioritize their main syllabuses, which play a crucial role in their professional lives.
In my opinion, despite the fact that focusing on main courses is a vital issue, this essay argues that students should be multifaceted, because some abilities will be developed by learning new subjects. For example, they can improve their problem-solving skills by participating in certain classes which is essential for both their work and private lives.
In my opinion, while focusing on core courses is essential, students should also strive to be multifaceted, as some abilities can be developed through learning new subjects. For example, they can enhance their problem-solving skills by participating in certain classes, which is vital for both their professional and personal lives.
In conclusion, this essay has elaborated on different views that include both learning new skills and concentrate on main subjects. Also, it has offered the author’s opinion that argues learning outside basic syllabuses has a significant role in individual’s lives.
In conclusion, this essay has discussed different perspectives regarding the importance of learning new skills versus concentrating on main subjects. It has also presented the author’s opinion that learning beyond basic syllabuses plays a significant role in individuals' lives.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Strengths: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints regarding university students learning additional subjects versus focusing solely on their main subjects. The author also provides a clear opinion, supporting the idea of being multifaceted.
  • Areas for Improvement: The essay could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support the claims made. For instance, mentioning specific skills or subjects that could complement a student's main field of study would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion summarizing the discussion and the author's opinion.
  • Areas for Improvement: Transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of learning different subjects to focusing on main subjects could be more seamless. Additionally, the conclusion could more explicitly restate the main points discussed in the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths: The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to education and learning, such as "qualification," "syllabuses," and "multifaceted."
  • Areas for Improvement: There are some minor lexical inaccuracies, such as "interested learning" which should be "interested in learning." Additionally, varying the vocabulary further and using more precise terms could enhance the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with mostly correct sentence structures and verb forms.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are a few grammatical errors, such as "individual’s lives" which should be "individuals' lives" to indicate the plural possessive form. Also, the sentence "it creates a chance for students who study different fields from literature to develop their knowledge" could be clearer if rephrased.

Overall Suggestions

  • Provide more specific examples to support the arguments.
  • Improve transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
  • Pay attention to minor grammatical and lexical errors.
  • Consider rephrasing certain sentences for clarity and precision.

By addressing these areas, the essay can be more compelling and effectively communicate the author's perspective.