Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...
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It is true that in recent times, companies and brands often try to boldhighlight the fact that their goods are new and up-datedupdated through commercials in certain ways. There are numerous factors that contribute to this trend. This essay will examine some of the reasons behind it, and explain why I belivebelieve it is a negative development.
To begin with, many businesses are trying tryto emphazise on emphasizetheir latest model products in their advertising, in order to attract the audience's attention. Consequently, people's sense of need will be triggered and they will be willing to purchase those products. This happens since a large number of people have a tendency to possess not only the best, ,but also the newest objects. For example, every year, Apple inroducesintroduces the latest model of IphoneiPhone and tries to promotpromote it, by saying about highlightingits state-of-the-art technologies and features. As a result, a vast majority of individuals will be persuaded to buy it.
However, I do not think it is a positive development. In my opinion, firstly, this trend results in consumerism, as poeplepeople will assume that if they want to stay up-to-date, they have to buy any new-newly released gadget, even if they do not truelytruly need it. Furthermore, customers might do every thing everythingto have that item, making people materialistic. To illustrate, in order to buy the newest model of IphoneiPhone, a noticeable number of people borrow money from others or even get a loan from a bank.
In conclusion, brands emphasize on their cutting-edge materials through commercials, in order to convince people to buy their productionsproducts more and more. Because of several reasons such as widespreadingthe widespread consumerist culture, I am strongly against this phenomenon and believe it is a negative development.
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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing why businesses emphasize new products in advertising and presenting a clear opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development.
The response provides relevant examples (e.g., Apple’s iPhone releases) to support the argument, which strengthens the analysis.
However, the reasoning could be more nuanced. For instance, the negative effects (consumerism, materialism) are well-explained, but a brief acknowledgment of potential benefits (innovation, competition) would make the argument more balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from reasons to negative effects feels abrupt—a linking phrase would help.
Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "bold the fact" → "highlight the fact," "up-dated" → "updated") slightly disrupt flow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with some strong word choices (e.g., "state-of-the-art," "consumerism," "materialistic").
There are spelling and word form errors ("belive" → "believe," "emphazise" → "emphasize," "poeple" → "people") that should be corrected.
Some phrases are awkward or unnatural (e.g., "making people materialistic" could be reworded for clarity).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are recurring grammatical mistakes: