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Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
These days it seems that more educated people are migrating to other countries than ever before. This raiseraises certain questionquestions about the whther whether they should be free to work in another country or not. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this essay iI will argue that it must be their own decision to choose their desiredesired country to work. The reasons for this are twofold. Some people believe that because government are governments spend lots of money to train the professionals, they must be stay in their home country to pay thosethat money back. Meanwhile, in my opinion, it is the government's responsibility to allocate a budget for training their people, and they should not expectingexpect people to pay these moenythis money back withby working. Firstly, it is vitally important that expertesexperts such as doctors, engineers, and scientists are try hard in their lifetime to become knowledgeable in different scientific areas, and they have this righthe right to choose wherever they wish to work. A particularly fasinatingfascinating example of this is people who livedlive in third -world countries and they study hard in order to immigrate to an affluent country in the future and experience a better quality of life for themselves and their families. secondly Secondly, I would contend that, the migration of professionals into different parts of the world brings a sense of balance. If all of the expertes would live experts lived in the same country, what happendwould happen to other countries where havethat do not have enough professionals? In conclusion, iI once again restate my view that all of the educated people must have thisthe opportunity to work in another country.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days it seems that more educated people are migrating to other countries than ever before. This raise certain question about the whther they should be free to work in another country or not. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this essay i will argue that it must be their own decision to choose their desire country to work. The reasons for this are twofold.
These days, it appears that more educated individuals are migrating to other countries than ever before. This raises certain questions about whether they should be free to work abroad or not. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this essay I will argue that it should be their own decision to choose their desired country of work. The reasons for this are twofold.
Some people believe that because government are spend lots of money to train the professionals, they must be stay in their home country to pay those money back. Meanwhile in my opinion it is the government responsibility to allocate a budget for training their people and they should not expecting people to pay these moeny back with working.
Some people believe that since governments spend considerable amounts of money training professionals, they should remain in their home country to repay this investment. However, in my opinion, it is the government’s responsibility to allocate budgets for education, and they should not expect individuals to repay this by staying.
Firstly it is vitally important that expertes such as doctors, engineers and scientists are try hard in their lifetime to become knowledgeable in different scientific areas and they have this righ to choose wherever they wish to work. A particularly fasinating example of this is people who lived in third world countries and they study hard in order to immigrate to an affluent country in the future and experience a better quality of life for themselves and their families.
First, it is vitally important that experts such as doctors, engineers, and scientists, who have worked hard to gain specialized knowledge, have the right to choose where they wish to work. A compelling example of this is individuals from developing countries who study diligently to immigrate to more affluent nations, seeking better opportunities for themselves and their families.
secondly, I would contend that, migration of professionals in different parts of the world brings a sense of balance. If all of the expertes would live in the same country, what happend to other countries where have not enough professionals?
Second, I would argue that the migration of professionals creates a sense of global balance. If all experts were concentrated in one country, others would suffer from a shortage of skilled workers.
In conclusion, i once again restate my view that all of the educated people must have this opportunity to work in another country.
In conclusion, I reaffirm my view that educated individuals should have the freedom to work in another country if they choose to do so.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
weak
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Strengths:

    • You addressed both sides of the argument and provided a clear opinion.
    • The essay meets the minimum word requirement (268 words).
    • You included examples to support your points, such as professionals from third-world countries seeking better opportunities.
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Clarity of Ideas: Some arguments are unclear or underdeveloped. For example, the idea of "bringing a sense of balance" is not fully explained.
    • Supporting Evidence: The examples could be more specific. Instead of generalizing about "third-world countries," you could mention a real case (e.g., doctors from India working in the UK).
    • Conclusion: The conclusion is repetitive and does not summarize key points effectively. A stronger conclusion should restate the main arguments concisely.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths:

    • The essay has a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion).
    • Some linking words are used (e.g., "Firstly," "secondly," "In conclusion").
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Paragraphing: The second body paragraph ("secondly") is too short and lacks depth.
    • Transitions: Some sentences feel abrupt. For example, the shift from discussing government responsibility to individual rights is not smooth.
    • Repetition: The phrase "must have this opportunity" is repeated without adding new information.

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths:

    • You use some topic-related vocabulary (e.g., "professionals," "migration," "affluent country").
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Word Choice & Spelling Errors:
      • "raise certain question" → "raises certain questions"
      • "whther" → "whether"
      • "i" → "I" (always capitalize "I")
      • "expertes" → "experts"
      • "fasinating" → "fascinating"
      • "moeny" → "money"
    • Formal Tone: Some phrases are too informal (e.g., "what happend to other countries").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths:

    • You attempt complex sentences, though some are incorrect.
  • Areas for Improvement:

    • Subject-Verb Agreement:
      • "government are spend" → "governments spend"
      • "they must be stay" → "they must stay"
    • Tense Consistency:
      • "they study hard in order to immigrate" (present tense) clashes with "lived" (past tense).
    • Sentence Structure:
      • "A particularly fascinating example of this is people who lived in third world countries and they study hard..." → This is a run-on sentence. Better: "A particularly fascinating example is people from developing countries who study hard to immigrate..."

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Revise Grammar & Spelling: Carefully proofread to correct errors.
  2. Develop Arguments Further: Expand on key points with more detailed explanations.
  3. Use More Formal Language: Avoid informal phrasing and ensure clarity.
  4. Improve Cohesion: Use more linking words (e.g., "Moreover," "However") to connect ideas smoothly.
  5. Strengthen the Conclusion: Summarize key points without repetition.

Overall, your essay has a good structure and addresses the prompt, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and argument development will significantly improve it. Keep practicing!