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Question: In the future all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling in...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is believed that in the future, all cars will be automated so they won`’t need a driver. Although automation benefits people, it has some drawbacks, too. In my opinion, driverless cars reduce the rate of accidents because of their efficient controllingcontrol system and further, they help individuals do their tasks while driving despite the automatic driving. Although they may be too expensive and unaffordable for several people. First and foremost, the vast majority of accidents happen because of careless and exhausted drivers. Initially, automation can reduce the accident rate significantly with its automatic system; meanwhile, Itit is able to control the cars without demanding the driver`’s attention. For example, Tesla cars haven`’t had any damage or accident byaccidents thus far. In addition, individuals can do various activities while traveling consists oftravelling, such as sleeping or doing their tasks without checking the road. AutomaticAutomatics are produced to drive through places so that drivers are convenient to can enjoy travelingtravelling. For example, if a person prefers to be relax and enjoy the scenery meanwhilewhile driving, driverless carcars are practical and safe; in other words, it is kind of entertaining for people. On the other hand, automated cars might be unaffordable regardeddue to their special system. Thus, many people won`’t be able to purchase them. As an example, automated cars are not available in Iran; hence, if they enter here, most people won`’t afford itthem due to their high cost. In conclusion, driving transportation needs to be careful with requires carefulness and enough energy,; otherwise, it can be dangerous and lead to a disaster. AutomationAutomated cars can reduce this occurrence by considering the driverless option and furthermore, individuals can prioritizeprioritise their tasks and not be bored during their trip.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is believed that in the future, all cars will be automated so they won`t need a driver. Although automation benefits people, it has some drawbacks, too. In my opinion, driverless cars reduce the rate of accidents because of their efficient controlling system and further, they help individuals do their tasks while driving despite the automatic driving. Although they may be too expensive and unaffordable for several people.
It is believed that in the future, all cars will be automated, eliminating the need for a driver. While automation offers numerous benefits, it also presents some drawbacks. In my opinion, driverless cars can significantly reduce the rate of accidents due to their efficient control systems, and they allow individuals to engage in various tasks while traveling. However, the high cost of these vehicles may render them unaffordable for many people.
First and foremost, the vast majority of accidents happen because of careless and exhausted drivers. Initially, automation can reduce the accident rate significantly with its automatic system meanwhile, It is able to control the cars without demanding the driver`s attention. For example, Tesla cars haven`t had any damage or accident by far.
First and foremost, the majority of accidents occur due to careless or fatigued drivers. Automation has the potential to significantly decrease the accident rate with its advanced systems, which can control vehicles without requiring the driver's constant attention. For instance, Tesla vehicles have reported a notable reduction in accidents, showcasing the effectiveness of automated driving technology.
In addition, individuals can do various activities while traveling consists of sleeping or doing their tasks without checking the road. Automatic are produced to drive through places so that drivers are convenient to enjoy traveling. For example, if a person prefers to be relax and enjoy the scenery meanwhile driving, driverless car are practical and safe in other words, it is kind of entertaining for people.
Moreover, individuals can engage in various activities while traveling, such as sleeping or working, without the need to monitor the road. Automated cars are designed to navigate safely, allowing passengers to enjoy their journey. For example, if a person wishes to relax and take in the scenery while traveling, a driverless car provides a practical and safe solution, making the experience more enjoyable.
On the other hand, automated cars might be unaffordable regarded to their special system. Thus, many people won`t be able to purchase them. As an example, automated cars are not available in Iran hence, if they enter here, most people won`t afford it due to their high cost.
On the other hand, automated cars may be prohibitively expensive due to their advanced technology. Consequently, many people may find it difficult to afford them. For instance, automated cars are not yet available in Iran, and if they were to enter the market, the high costs would likely prevent most individuals from purchasing them.
In conclusion, driving transportation needs to be careful with enough energy, otherwise, it can be dangerous and lead to a disaster. Automation cars can reduce this occurrence by considering the driverless option and furthermore, individuals can prioritize their tasks and not be bored during their trip.
In conclusion, driving requires careful attention and energy; otherwise, it can lead to dangerous situations. Automated cars have the potential to mitigate these risks by offering a driverless option, allowing individuals to focus on their tasks and enjoy their journeys without boredom.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. However, it could benefit from a clearer statement of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as the conclusion seems to suggest a balanced view rather than a definitive stance.
  • Examples and Support: The essay provides examples, such as Tesla cars, to support the argument about safety. However, the claim that "Tesla cars haven’t had any damage or accident by far" is factually incorrect and should be revised for accuracy. More specific examples or data could strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing safety to affordability could be better linked.
  • Cohesive Devices: Use of cohesive devices like "first and foremost," "in addition," and "on the other hand" helps in structuring the essay, but more varied linking words could enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some awkward phrases, such as "automatic are produced to drive through places" which could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the term "automatic" is used incorrectly; "autonomous" or "driverless" would be more appropriate.
  • Range and Accuracy: There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but some word choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as "regarded to their special system" which should be "due to their advanced technology."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, such as "Automatic are produced to drive through places so that drivers are convenient to enjoy traveling."
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("driverless car are practical") and incorrect use of punctuation (e.g., "meanwhile, It is able to control"). These errors can distract the reader and should be corrected for clarity.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Position: Clearly state whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the introduction and conclusion.
  2. Improve Accuracy: Ensure factual accuracy, especially when using examples like Tesla. Avoid making absolute claims without evidence.
  3. Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
  4. Refine Language: Work on correcting grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability.
  5. Expand Examples: Provide more detailed examples or data to support your points, particularly regarding the cost and accessibility of driverless vehicles.

By addressing these areas, the essay can be more compelling and aligned with the IELTS writing criteria.