Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
These days in many countries all around the world, people have access to foods and other products that are manufactured in other countries. I firmly believe this is a negative development that can affect both our environment and local economies. In this essay, I will express my opinion and support it by providing explanationexplanations and relevant examples. First of all, these products have to travel long distances to reach their destinations either by cargo ships or airplanes. For example, a company like NestleNestlé produces most of its products in European countries like Germany and Austria, before distributing them all around the world. These long journeys result in devastating environmental consequences by contributing to carbon emissionemissions and global warming. As a result, those products that have been manufactured abroad hashave a higher carbon footprint compared to locally produced foods. In addition, importing food from other countries can hurt the local economy by creating an unjust competition between international corporations and locally owned businesses. Those big companies, such as Coca-Cola, may use strategies such as price dumping to take control of the market and put domestic businesses out of competition. However, small domestic companies don’t have the necessary resources to compete in this scenario, and will end up filing for bankruptcy. In conclusion, buying products manufactured abroad not only affects local economies by putting small domestic businesses out of competition, but also havehas a significant effect on our planet and global warming by contributing to carbon emissionemissions. In my opinion, it is better if people support domestic businesses by purchasing locally produced foods and other products.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days in many countries all around the world, people have access to foods and other products that are manufactured in other countries. I firmly believe this is a negative development that can affect both our environment and local economies. In this essay, I will express my opinion and support it by providing explanation and relevant examples.
These days, in many countries around the world, people have access to foods and other products that are manufactured in different nations. I firmly believe that this is a negative development that can adversely affect both our environment and local economies. In this essay, I will express my opinion and support it with explanations and relevant examples.
First of all, these products have to travel long distances to reach their destinations either by cargo ships or airplanes. For example, a company like Nestle produces most of its products in European countries like Germany and Austria, before distributing them all around the world. These long journeys result in devastating environmental consequences by contributing to carbon emission and global warming. As a result, those products that have been manufactured abroad has a higher carbon footprint compared to locally produced foods.
First of all, these products often have to travel long distances to reach their destinations, either by cargo ships or airplanes. For example, a company like Nestlé produces most of its products in European countries such as Germany and Austria before distributing them globally. These long journeys result in devastating environmental consequences by contributing to carbon emissions and global warming. As a result, products manufactured abroad have a higher carbon footprint compared to locally produced foods.
In addition, importing food from other countries can hurt local economy by creating an unjust competition between international corporations and locally owned businesses. Those big companies, such as Coca-Cola, may use strategies such as price dumping to take control of the market and put domestic businesses out of competition. However, small domestic companies don’t have the necessary resources to compete in this scenario, and will end up filing for bankruptcy.
In addition, importing food from other countries can harm the local economy by creating unfair competition between international corporations and locally owned businesses. Large companies, such as Coca-Cola, may employ strategies like price dumping to dominate the market and drive domestic businesses out of competition. Unfortunately, small domestic companies often lack the necessary resources to compete in this scenario and may ultimately face bankruptcy.
In conclusion, buying products manufactured abroad not only affects local economies by putting small domestic businesses out of competition, but also have a significant effect on our planet and global warming by contributing to carbon emission. In my opinion, it is better if people support domestic businesses by purchasing locally produced foods and other products.
In conclusion, purchasing products manufactured abroad not only negatively impacts local economies by undermining small domestic businesses, but it also has a significant effect on our planet and contributes to global warming through increased carbon emissions. In my opinion, it is preferable for people to support domestic businesses by purchasing locally produced foods and other products.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
strong
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
strong
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance that the availability of international products in supermarkets is a negative development. The writer provides two main reasons to support this viewpoint: environmental impact and harm to local economies. The essay includes relevant examples, such as the mention of Nestle and Coca-Cola, to illustrate these points. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion by acknowledging potential positive aspects of this development, even if only to refute them.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which contributes to the overall coherence. Transition words and phrases, such as "first of all" and "in addition," are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. However, the essay could improve cohesion by providing more explicit links between the examples and the main argument, ensuring that each example directly supports the point being made.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used in the essay is appropriate and varied, with terms like "carbon emission," "global warming," "price dumping," and "bankruptcy" demonstrating a good range of lexical resource. The essay could be enhanced by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions to further demonstrate lexical flexibility and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used throughout. There are no significant grammatical errors, and the sentences are generally well-constructed. However, the essay could benefit from more complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of grammatical range. For example, using relative clauses or conditional sentences could add variety and depth to the writing.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Task Achievement: Consider acknowledging potential positive aspects of international product availability, such as increased consumer choice or cultural exchange, to provide a more balanced argument.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Strengthen the links between examples and main points to ensure each example clearly supports the argument.

  3. Lexical Resource: Incorporate more advanced vocabulary and expressions to demonstrate a wider range of lexical resource.

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Use more complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or conditionals, to enhance grammatical range and demonstrate a higher level of writing proficiency.

Overall, the essay presents a clear and well-supported argument, but it could be improved by addressing the suggestions above to achieve a more balanced and sophisticated response.