Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...
Marking Generated by Free AI Models
You are on the free tier, which uses free AI models. They can occasionally be slow, unstable, or temporarily unavailable. Balang Plus uses premium models for faster, more reliable, and higher-quality marking.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
There is an opposing view on whether the most detrimental environmental issue is the extinction of specific species or other environmental problems such as, nuclear waste disposal or running out of fossil fuel resorcesresources. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and explain why I strongly agree with the latter viewpoint.
To begin with, a vast majority of people believe that the loss of particular species of plants and animals has become a conceringconcerning issue and authorities need to adopt urgent measures in order to address it. They think particular creatures not only demonstrate national pride, but are also are crucial for maintaining a sustainable ecosystem. For example, if a specific species in the food chain become extinctebecomes extinct, the number of its predators could significantly decrease due to the lack of sufficient food could significantly decrease. Subsequently, the number of its prey potentialy will potentially increase. So, in order to avoid these concequences ,consequences,we need to put much more effortseffort into solving it.
However, it is argued by many people that although endangered species is a noticablenoticeable problem, there are much more emergency invornmentalurgent environmental issues to tackle with. Issues like running out of fossil fuelsfuel resources,are considered to be more urgent in this perspective. Since, it can resultsresult in a lack of enough fuel for crucial damandingsdemands such as cooking or heating homes.To illustrate, if individauls doindividuals are not be cautious about overusing it, these precious resources will have been run out in less than fifty years. Moreover, nuclear waste disposal is also considered as a debated environmental issue, as, these wastes could lead to several serious and severe genetic diseases.
In conclusion, while dealing with endangered animals and plants issue is vital, I believe it is not ana priority and we need to concentrate on solving more important problems.
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.
Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both views and presents your opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, the introduction could be clearer in outlining the two perspectives before stating your stance.
Some arguments are well-developed (e.g., the food chain example), but others (e.g., fossil fuels and nuclear waste) could be expanded with more specific evidence or data to strengthen your position.
The conclusion restates your opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing species loss to fossil fuels feels abrupt.
Some sentences are overly long or awkwardly phrased, which affects readability (e.g., "Since, it can results in lack of enough fuel for crucial damandings such as cooking or heating homes.").
Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "extincte," "concequences," "invornmental") slightly disrupt the flow.
Lexical Resource
You use a range of vocabulary, but some words are misspelled or misused (e.g., "resorces," "noticable," "individauls"). Proofreading would help.
Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "running out of fossil fuel resources" appears twice). Try using synonyms or rephrasing.
More precise academic vocabulary (e.g., "biodiversity loss" instead of "loss of particular species") would enhance clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ("it can results" → "it can result"), incorrect word forms ("emergency invornmental issues" → "urgent environmental issues"), and punctuation mistakes ("Since," should not have a comma after it).
Some sentences are unclear due to incorrect phrasing (e.g., "if individauls do not be cautious" → "if individuals are not cautious").
Work on sentence structure to improve fluency (e.g., "So, in order to avoid these concequences ,we need to put much more efforts into solving it." could be revised for clarity).
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify the introduction – Briefly summarize both views before stating your opinion.
Expand key arguments – Provide more concrete examples or statistics (e.g., how quickly fossil fuels are depleting).
Improve transitions – Use linking words ("On the other hand," "Furthermore") to connect ideas smoothly.
Proofread carefully – Correct spelling and grammar to enhance readability.
Vary vocabulary – Avoid repetition by using synonyms (e.g., "depletion" instead of "running out").
Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion, but refining grammar, coherence, and supporting details will strengthen it. Keep practicing!