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Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
There is an opposing view on whether the most detrimental environmental issue is the extinction of specific species or other environmental problems such as, nuclear waste disposal or running out of fossil fuel resorcesresources. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and explain why I strongly agree with the latter viewpoint. To begin with, a vast majority of people believe that the loss of particular species of plants and animals has become a conceringconcerning issue and authorities need to adopt urgent measures in order to address it. They think particular creatures not only demonstrate national pride, but are also are crucial for maintaining a sustainable ecosystem. For example, if a specific species in the food chain become extinctebecomes extinct, the number of its predators could significantly decrease due to the lack of sufficient food could significantly decrease. Subsequently, the number of its prey potentialy will potentially increase. So, in order to avoid these concequences ,consequences, we need to put much more effortseffort into solving it. However, it is argued by many people that although endangered species is a noticablenoticeable problem, there are much more emergency invornmentalurgent environmental issues to tackle with. Issues like running out of fossil fuelsfuel resources, are considered to be more urgent in this perspective. Since, it can resultsresult in a lack of enough fuel for crucial damandingsdemands such as cooking or heating homes. To illustrate, if individauls doindividuals are not be cautious about overusing it, these precious resources will have been run out in less than fifty years. Moreover, nuclear waste disposal is also considered as a debated environmental issue, as, these wastes could lead to several serious and severe genetic diseases. In conclusion, while dealing with endangered animals and plants issue is vital, I believe it is not ana priority and we need to concentrate on solving more important problems.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is an opposing view on whether the most detrimental environmental issue is the extinction of specific species or other environmental problems such as, nuclear waste disposal or running out of fossil fuel resorces. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and explain why I strongly agree with the latter viewpoint.
There is a divergence of opinion regarding whether the most pressing environmental issue is the extinction of certain species or other problems such as nuclear waste disposal or the depletion of fossil fuel resources. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives and justify my strong agreement with the latter viewpoint.
To begin with, a vast majority of people believe that loss of particular species of plants and animals has become a concering issue and authorities need to adopt urgent measures in order to address it. They think particular creatures not only demonstrate national pride, but also are crucial for maintaining a sustainable ecosystem. For example, if a specific species in the food chain become extincte, the number of its predators due to the lack of sufficient food could significantly decrease. Subsequently, the number of its prey potentialy will increase. So, in order to avoid these concequences ,we need to put much more efforts into solving it.
To begin with, many argue that the loss of particular plant and animal species is a concerning issue that requires immediate intervention. Proponents of this view believe that these species not only symbolize national pride but also play a vital role in maintaining ecological balance. For instance, if a key species in the food chain becomes extinct, its predators may decline due to insufficient food, while its prey could proliferate uncontrollably. Consequently, to prevent such disruptions, greater efforts must be made to address species extinction.
However, it is argued by many people that although endangered species is a noticable problem, there are much more emergency invornmental issues to tackle with. Issues like running out of fossil fuels resources, considered to be more urgent in this perspective. Since, it can results in lack of enough fuel for crucial damandings such as cooking or heating homes.To illustrate, if individauls do not be cautious about overusing it, these precious resources will have been run out in less than fifty years. Moreover, nuclear waste disposal is also considered as a debated environmental issue as, these wastes could lead to several serious and severe genetic diseases.
However, others contend that while the endangerment of species is a significant concern, more urgent environmental crises demand attention. The depletion of fossil fuels, for example, is considered a more immediate threat, as it could lead to severe shortages of energy for essential needs such as cooking and heating. If excessive consumption continues, these finite resources may be exhausted within fifty years. Additionally, nuclear waste disposal remains a contentious issue, as improper handling can result in serious genetic disorders and long-term environmental damage.
In conclusion, while dealing with endangered animals and plants issue is vital, I believe it is not an priority and we need to concentrate on solving more important problems.
In conclusion, although protecting endangered species is important, I believe it should not take precedence over more critical environmental challenges. Greater emphasis must be placed on addressing issues like energy scarcity and hazardous waste management.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and presents your opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, the introduction could be clearer in outlining the two perspectives before stating your stance.
  • Some arguments are well-developed (e.g., the food chain example), but others (e.g., fossil fuels and nuclear waste) could be expanded with more specific evidence or data to strengthen your position.
  • The conclusion restates your opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing species loss to fossil fuels feels abrupt.
  • Some sentences are overly long or awkwardly phrased, which affects readability (e.g., "Since, it can results in lack of enough fuel for crucial damandings such as cooking or heating homes.").
  • Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "extincte," "concequences," "invornmental") slightly disrupt the flow.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a range of vocabulary, but some words are misspelled or misused (e.g., "resorces," "noticable," "individauls"). Proofreading would help.
  • Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "running out of fossil fuel resources" appears twice). Try using synonyms or rephrasing.
  • More precise academic vocabulary (e.g., "biodiversity loss" instead of "loss of particular species") would enhance clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ("it can results" → "it can result"), incorrect word forms ("emergency invornmental issues" → "urgent environmental issues"), and punctuation mistakes ("Since," should not have a comma after it).
  • Some sentences are unclear due to incorrect phrasing (e.g., "if individauls do not be cautious" → "if individuals are not cautious").
  • Work on sentence structure to improve fluency (e.g., "So, in order to avoid these concequences ,we need to put much more efforts into solving it." could be revised for clarity).

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify the introduction – Briefly summarize both views before stating your opinion.
  2. Expand key arguments – Provide more concrete examples or statistics (e.g., how quickly fossil fuels are depleting).
  3. Improve transitions – Use linking words ("On the other hand," "Furthermore") to connect ideas smoothly.
  4. Proofread carefully – Correct spelling and grammar to enhance readability.
  5. Vary vocabulary – Avoid repetition by using synonyms (e.g., "depletion" instead of "running out").

Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion, but refining grammar, coherence, and supporting details will strengthen it. Keep practicing!