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Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It has been seen that, most of the businesses after launching a new product, will emphasise on their innovations in order to prove the difference between their brand new product and other similar existedexisting ones in the market in their advertisementadvertisements. In this essay I will outline the reasons offor this behaviorbehaviour and my perspective abouton this positive development. To begin with, the main purpose of the advertising industry is representingto represent any new product in a creative way to show its differences, superiorities, high quality, and its innovation. Moreover, it is crucial to picturepresent a new product’s functions very impressiveimpressively for audiences duein order to encourage them to choose the advertised brand over other current brands in the market. AdvertisementAdvertisements must always make individuals feel that their decisions are more logical by not only bringingproviding various impressive reasons, but also by evoking their emotions. For instance, every new cellphone’s advertisement contains many visual aspects which convincedconvince individuals to purchase thatit immediately. Highlighting the novelty of any newnewly launched product is a positive attitudeapproach in the advertisement industry. Firstly, every new product is based on human’s need needs to solve a problem or make life easier. Secondly, todaystoday’s products always have environmental concerns such as sustainability, recycling, reducing carbon emissions, and, decreasing energy usage. For example, new brand automobiles emphasizing on emphasise the current vehicle’s pollutionspollution and try to promote themselves as environmental-environmentally friendly cars. In conclusion, the main point of advertising is presenting any product creatively and differently in order to persuade people purchasingto purchase it, however. However, the best commercial for a product is its quality and its superiority over other current sampleexamples.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It has seen that, most of the businesses after launching a new product, will emphasise on their innovations in order to prove the difference between their brand new product and other similar existed ones in the market in their advertisement. In this essay I will outline the reasons of this behavior and my perspective about this positive development.
It has been observed that most businesses emphasize their innovations when launching new products in order to highlight the differences between their offerings and existing products in the market through advertisements. In this essay, I will outline the reasons for this approach and discuss why I consider it a positive development.
To begin with, the main purpose of advertising industry is representing any new product in a creative way to show its differences, superiorities, high quality and its innovation. Moreover, it is crucial to picture a new product’s functions very impressive for audiences due to encourage them to choose advertised brand over other current brands in market. Advertisement must always make individuals feel that their decisions are more logical by not only bringing various impressive reasons, but also by evoking their emotions. For instance, every new cellphone’s advertisement contains many visual aspects which convinced individuals to purchase that immediately.
To begin with, the primary purpose of advertising is to present new products in a creative manner, showcasing their unique features, superior qualities, and innovations. Additionally, it is essential to present a product’s functions in an impressive way to persuade consumers to choose the advertised brand over competitors. Effective advertisements not only provide compelling reasons for purchase but also appeal to consumers' emotions, making their decisions seem more logical. For example, advertisements for new smartphones often use striking visuals to convince potential buyers to make an immediate purchase.
Highlighting the novelty of any new launched product is a positive attitude in advertisement industry. Firstly, every new product is based on human’s need to solve a problem or make life easier. Secondly, todays products always have environmental concerns such as sustainability, recycling, reducing carbon emissions and, decreasing energy usage. For example, new brand automobiles emphasizing on the current vehicle’s pollutions and try to promote themselves as environmental-friendly cars.
Emphasizing the novelty of newly launched products is a positive trend in the advertising industry. Firstly, new products are typically designed to address specific needs, whether to solve problems or improve convenience. Secondly, modern products increasingly incorporate environmental considerations, such as sustainability, recyclability, reduced carbon emissions, and lower energy consumption. For instance, many automobile brands now highlight their eco-friendly features in contrast to traditional vehicles that contribute to pollution.
In conclusion, the main point of advertising is presenting any product creatively and differently in order to persuade people purchasing it, however, the best commercial for a product is its quality and its superiority over other current sample.
In conclusion, the main objective of advertising is to present products in a distinctive and persuasive manner to encourage purchases. However, the most effective advertisement for any product ultimately depends on its quality and superiority over competing alternatives.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on why businesses emphasize newness in their products, as well as your view that this is a positive development.
  • The examples provided (cellphones and automobiles) help support your argument, but they could be more detailed or specific to strengthen your points.
  • The conclusion restates your position but could be more developed—try to summarize the key reasons more clearly rather than introducing a new idea (e.g., "the best commercial for a product is its quality").

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
  • The first body paragraph is well-structured, but the second one could be more clearly linked to the first (e.g., "Another reason why this is positive is...").
  • Some sentences are overly long or awkwardly phrased (e.g., "It has seen that, most of the businesses after launching a new product, will emphasise on their innovations..."). Breaking them into shorter, clearer sentences would improve readability.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a range of vocabulary (e.g., "superiorities," "evoking emotions," "environmental concerns"), but some word choices are unnatural or incorrect (e.g., "existed ones" → "existing ones," "positive attitude in advertisement industry" → "positive trend in advertising").
  • Avoid minor errors like "It has seen that" (should be "It is seen that" or "It has been observed that").
  • Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "new product" appears frequently—try synonyms like "latest," "recently launched," or "innovative").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors, including:
    • Subject-verb agreement ("businesses... will emphasise" → "businesses... emphasise").
    • Article misuse ("in advertisement industry" → "in the advertising industry").
    • Incorrect prepositions ("emphasise on" → "emphasise").
    • Awkward phrasing ("their decisions are more logical by not only bringing various impressive reasons" → "their decisions are logical by providing compelling reasons").
  • Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences (e.g., "Advertisement must always make individuals feel that their decisions are more logical by not only bringing various impressive reasons, but also by evoking their emotions").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify your introduction – The first sentence is grammatically incorrect. Try: "Nowadays, businesses often highlight the novelty of their products in advertisements to differentiate them from existing competitors."
  2. Improve transitions – Use linking words like Furthermore, Additionally, Consequently to connect ideas smoothly.
  3. Refine word choice – Avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., "positive attitude in advertisement industry" → "positive trend in advertising").
  4. Proofread for grammar – Review subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions.
  5. Strengthen examples – Instead of just mentioning "cellphones" and "automobiles," provide a specific brand or model to make your argument more convincing.

Overall, your essay presents a clear argument but would benefit from improved grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure. Keep practicing!