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Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

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While many believe that the extinction of certain species is the greatest threat to our environment, others feel that there are more pressing environmental issues. This essay discusses both perspectives and why I believe that there are more critical issues than the loss of species. There are two main reasons why people might believe that the extinction of certain plants and animals is the most serious issue. The first of these concerns the way that how plants and species are interrelated and how the loss of one species can lead to the loss of other speciesothers. For instance, if coral dies, many of the fish and marine life that feed offdepend on it also die. Moreover, many people note the importance of the planet's biodiversity of the planet and point out that when a species dies, this is reduced. This biodiversity is important because we are constantly findingdiscovering that certain species have important applications, such as in the field of medicine. However, others consider that there are more serious environmental issues. One of the reasons reason is that the extinction of a species can be considered a part of naturenatural process. For instance, we know that the dinosaurs died out due to naturally changing weather patterns, and life ofon our planet still continues. In addition, man-made problems are emerging such as Globalglobal warming thatare emerging, which are so serious they have the potential to wipe out all life on our planet. If the earth continues to experience rising temperatures, it will start to become uninhabitable even for humans. In conclusion, in my opinion both sides of this argument have their merits. However, it seems that man-made global warming is the most serious problem because it ultimately threatens to not only to destroy certain species but also destroy all life on our planet, including humans. Moreover, it seems that we are not taking enough steps to mitigate this catastrophic problem.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
While many believe that the extinction of certain species is the greatest threat to our environment, others feel that there are more pressing environmental issues. This essay discusses both perspectives and why I believe that there are more critical issues than the loss of species.
While many believe that the extinction of certain species poses the greatest threat to our environment, others argue that more pressing ecological issues exist. This essay will examine both viewpoints before concluding that climate change represents a more critical environmental challenge.
There are two main reasons why people might believe that the extinction of certain plants and animals is the most serious issue. The first of these concerns the way that plants and species are interrelated and how the loss of one species can lead to the loss of other species. For instance, if coral dies many of the fish and marine life that feed off it also die. Moreover, many people note the importance of the biodiversity of the planet and point out that when a species dies this is reduced. This biodiversity is important because we are constantly finding that certain species have important applications such as in the field of medicine.
Proponents of species conservation highlight two key arguments. Primarily, they emphasize the interconnectedness of ecosystems, where the disappearance of one species can trigger cascading effects throughout the food chain. For example, coral reef degradation inevitably leads to the decline of dependent marine organisms. Furthermore, biodiversity loss diminishes potential scientific and medical advancements, as many species contain compounds vital for pharmaceutical development. The potential extinction of these species could mean losing undiscovered medical breakthroughs.
However, others consider that there are more serious environmental issues. One of the reasons is that the extinction of a species can be considered a part of nature. For instance, we know that the dinosaurs died out due to naturally changing weather patterns, and life of our planet still continues. In addition, man-made problems are emerging such as Global warming that are so serious they have the potential to wipe out all life on our planet. If the earth continues to experience rising temperatures it will start to become uninhabitable even for humans.
Conversely, climate change presents more immediate and comprehensive threats. Unlike species extinction, which occurs naturally throughout Earth's history as evidenced by prehistoric mass extinctions, anthropogenic global warming poses an unprecedented risk. Rising global temperatures threaten not just individual species, but the fundamental conditions supporting all life. The potential consequences - including rising sea levels, extreme weather events, and ecosystem collapse - could render vast portions of the planet uninhabitable.
In conclusion, in my opinion both sides of this argument have their merits. However, it seems that man-made global warming is the most serious problem because it ultimately threatens to not only destroy certain species but also destroy all life on our planet including humans. Moreover, it seems that we are not taking enough steps to mitigate this catastrophic problem.
In conclusion, while biodiversity loss warrants serious concern, climate change constitutes the paramount environmental crisis. Its far-reaching impacts threaten the survival of humanity itself, not merely individual species. Immediate, coordinated global action to reduce greenhouse gas emissions remains imperative to avert catastrophic consequences for all life on Earth.
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Overall Band Score
7.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
strong
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
strong
Grammar Range
strong
Cohesion
strong
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views—the loss of species as a major environmental problem and the argument that other issues are more pressing. The writer presents clear arguments for each perspective and provides relevant examples (e.g., coral reefs and global warming). The opinion is clearly stated in the conclusion, reinforcing the writer’s stance that global warming is the most critical issue. However, the discussion of the first view (loss of species) could be slightly more developed to balance the depth of analysis given to the second view (other environmental problems).

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is well-structured with a logical flow. Each paragraph has a clear central idea, and transitions between points are smooth (e.g., "However, others consider..."). The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion. To improve, the writer could use more cohesive devices (e.g., "On the other hand," "Furthermore") to strengthen connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, with terms like "biodiversity," "mitigate," and "uninhabitable" used correctly. However, some phrases could be more precise (e.g., "man-made problems are emerging" could be reworded as "human-induced environmental crises are escalating"). Repetition of "destroy" in the conclusion could be avoided by using synonyms like "eradicate" or "eliminate."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The grammar is mostly accurate, with complex structures used effectively (e.g., conditional sentences: "If the earth continues..."). However, there are minor errors, such as:

  • "life of our planet still continues" → "life on our planet still continues"
  • "man-made problems are emerging such as Global warming" → "man-made problems, such as global warming, are emerging" (lowercase "global warming" unless starting a sentence).

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Balance the Discussion: Expand the argument for species loss with an additional example or consequence to match the depth given to global warming.
  2. Enhance Cohesion: Use more linking words to improve paragraph transitions.
  3. Refine Word Choice: Replace repetitive or vague phrases with more precise vocabulary.
  4. Proofread for Grammar: Check for minor grammatical errors, especially article usage and capitalization.

Overall, the essay is well-argued and meets the task requirements, but slight refinements in balance, cohesion, and precision would strengthen it further.