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Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is claimed that processed portions are ubiquitous in supermarkets internationally. While I accept that these meals may bring some positive sidesaspects, they are mainly negative. On the one hand, producedprocessed food can tackle the problem of hectic lifestyles. As individuals dealingdeal with a busy schedule nowadays in terms of business or study, a convenient approach to food is of paramount importance. In fact, processed food might be considered a time-saving solution regarding people's daily rush. Above thatMoreover, large -scale produced portions can provide various choices for all consumers. For example, meat-free products of all types are widely accessible for vegetarians so that they would be able to can choose any desirable food. On the other hand, processed food whichthat can be sold in supermarkets bringbrings many health issues and provokes laziness. Firstly, with food being widely accessible in supermarkets, people wouldmay lose their eagerness to cook for their ownthemselves. If individuals do not understand the necessity of physical activities like making portions for their family, they will follow a sedentary lifestyle. Secondly, these portions have numerous drawbacks regarding their health standards, so that overusing them would lead to many physical disorders like obesity. ProducedProcessed food mainly consistconsists of extra fat, sugar, and saturated salt, which are detrimental forto the human body. For example, an average intake of harmful fat from producedprocessed hamburgers is twice as much as home madea homemade one. In conclusion, although the variety of food in supermarkets presentpresents some usefulness due to their convenience, they would have negative effects on people's health and promotespromote a sedentary lifestyle.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is claimed that processed portions are ubiquitous in supermarkets internationally. While I accept that these meals may bring some positive sides, they are mainly negative.
It is claimed that processed foods are ubiquitous in supermarkets worldwide. While I acknowledge that these meals may offer some advantages, I believe their drawbacks are far more significant.
On the one hand, produced food can tackle the problem of hectic lifestyles. As individuals dealing with a busy schedule nowadays in terms of business or study, a convenient approach to food is of paramount importance. In fact, processed food might be considered a time-saving solution regarding people's daily rush. Above that, large scale produced portions can provide various choices for all consumers. For example, meat-free products of all types are widely accessible for vegetarians so that they would be able to choose any desirable food.
On the one hand, processed foods can address the challenges posed by hectic lifestyles. In today's fast-paced world, where individuals often juggle demanding work or study schedules, convenient food options are of paramount importance. In fact, processed foods can be seen as a time-saving solution for people navigating their daily rush. Furthermore, mass-produced items provide a wide variety of choices for consumers. For instance, meat-free products are readily available for vegetarians, allowing them to select from a diverse range of appealing options.
On the other hand, processed food which can be sold in supermarkets bring many health issues and provokes laziness. Firstly, with food being widely accessible in supermarkets, people would lose their eagerness to cook for their own. If individuals do not understand the necessity of physical activities like making portions for their family, they will follow a sedentary lifestyle. Secondly, these portions have numerous drawbacks regarding their health standards so that overusing them would lead to many physical disorders like obesity. Produced food mainly consist extra fat, sugar and saturated salt which are detrimental for human body. For example, an average intake of harmful fat from produced hamburgers is twice as much as home made one.
On the other hand, the processed foods available in supermarkets pose numerous health risks and encourage laziness. Firstly, with food being so easily accessible, people may lose their motivation to cook for themselves. If individuals do not recognize the importance of engaging in physical activities, such as preparing meals for their families, they may adopt a sedentary lifestyle. Secondly, these processed foods often have significant health drawbacks; excessive consumption can lead to various physical disorders, including obesity. Processed foods typically contain high levels of unhealthy fats, sugars, and saturated salts, which are detrimental to the human body. For example, the average intake of harmful fats from processed hamburgers is twice that of homemade versions.
In conclusion, although the variety of food in supermarkets present some usefulness due to their convenience, they would have negative effects on people's health and promotes sedentary lifestyle.
In conclusion, although the variety of food available in supermarkets offers some convenience, the negative effects on people's health and the promotion of a sedentary lifestyle far outweigh these benefits.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
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Grammar Accuracy
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Grammar Range
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of having access to globally produced food in supermarkets. However, the essay leans more towards the negative implications, which aligns with the writer's stance.
  • Position: The writer's position is clear, stating that while there are some benefits, the negatives outweigh the positives.
  • Ideas and Examples: The essay provides relevant examples, such as the availability of meat-free products for vegetarians and the health risks associated with processed foods like hamburgers.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall argument.
  • Cohesion: The use of linking words and phrases (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "In conclusion") helps in maintaining the flow of the essay. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance readability.
  • Progression: The progression of ideas is logical, moving from the benefits to the drawbacks, and finally concluding with a summary of the argument.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as "ubiquitous," "paramount importance," "sedentary lifestyle," and "detrimental." However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "processed portions" which could be more clearly expressed as "processed foods."
  • Word Choice: Some word choices could be improved for clarity and precision. For example, "produced food" might be better expressed as "processed or packaged food."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, which adds to the sophistication of the writing.
  • Grammar: There are minor grammatical errors, such as "produced food mainly consist" which should be "produced food mainly consists." These errors do not significantly impede understanding but should be corrected for accuracy.
  • Punctuation: Punctuation is generally used correctly, though there are instances where commas could enhance clarity.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Terminology: Use more precise terms like "processed foods" instead of "produced portions" to avoid confusion.
  2. Enhance Transitions: Improve the flow between ideas with smoother transitions.
  3. Grammar and Punctuation: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and consider using commas to break up longer sentences for clarity.
  4. Expand on Ideas: While the essay covers the main points, further elaboration on how these foods impact local economies or cultural food practices could provide a more comprehensive analysis.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the writer's viewpoint with a balanced discussion of the topic, but there is room for refinement in language use and grammatical accuracy.