Writing evaluation result for: In many countries, paying for things using mobile apps is becoming increasingly common. What are... - Balang

Question: In many countries, paying for things using mobile apps is becoming increasingly common. Wh...

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The popularity of payment apps has increased significantly in recent years. In this essay the primary causes of this trend, including convenience and advancement of technology, will be analyzed. The potential problems, such as cyber fraud and over-reliance on technology, will also be discussed. One primary reason for banking apps becoming more prevalent in the community is that they offer ease of use so people are able to transfer their money and do other banking operations, regardless of time, even late at nightsnight. For example, if individuals log into these applications, they will be capable of purchasing from online shops, despite geographical distance. Another key reason cause of for this change is the widespread use of technology, which facilitates giving bank services to the applicants, compared with the past. As a consequence, the emergence of payment apps enables people to complain about customer service or pay their bills and tuition fees, without being present at the bank. One key problem of prevalence of paying for things online is that it may give rise to security problems. To be more exact, it is hard to define whether the apps are worth of trust or not as an unprofessional. For instance, hackers can enter the users' bank accounts by hacking their ID number and password, which contributes to stealing their money and transferring it into another account. Another vital challenge is that people depend too much on online platforms. Therefore, if their batterbattery dies or they do not have access to the internet, they find it substantially difficult to work with ATMs and debit cards. In conclusion, being user-friendly and improved technology are the most notable factors of over-use of online banking platforms, leading to cyberbullyingcyber fraud and over-dependence on technology.

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Overall Band Score

6.5

Overview

Vocabulary Range

average

Linking Words

average

Spelling

strong

Grammar Accuracy

average

Grammar Range

average

Cohesion

average

Paragraph Structure

strong

Task Response

strong

Word Count

sufficient

While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Response: You address both parts of the prompt clearly, presenting reasons (convenience, technology) and problems (security, over-reliance). Ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though the conclusion introduces "cyberbullying," which is inaccurate in this context (financial fraud/theft is the correct term).

Coherence & Cohesion: The structure is logical with clear paragraphing. Linking words are used (For example, As a consequence, Therefore), but some are mechanical or faulty ("Another key reason cause," "apps worth of trust"). Referencing is generally effective.

Lexical Resource: You use some good collocations (prevalent, widespread use, over-reliance, geographical distance). However, there are frequent errors in word choice and form: "late at nights" (late at night), "complain about customer service" (contact/access), "batter dies" (battery), "worth of trust" (trustworthy), and "cyberbullying" (cybercrime/fraud).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: You attempt complex structures (conditionals, relative clauses), but error density is high. Key issues include: sentence fragments ("In this essay the primary causes... will be analyzed" lacks a main verb for 'essay'), subject-verb agreement ("reason... are"), article misuse ("the applicants"), and awkward phrasing ("hard to define whether the apps worth of trust or not as an unprofessional").

Key Advice: Proofread carefully for vocabulary precision (avoid "cyberbullying" for financial crime) and basic grammar (articles, plurals, word forms). Aim for smoother integration of cohesive devices.