Writing evaluation result for: Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or... - Balang

Question: Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flyi...

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There is no denying the fact that the pollution caused by commercial airplanes is affecting on the environment. While it is a commonly held belief that reducing the number of flights helps protect the environment, there is also an argument that opposes this idea. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, when people stop flying or even reduce the number of times they fly every year, it will increase the chance of reducing the pollution. This step will force commercial airlines to figurefind solutions to avoid financial losses caused by people’s decisions. For example, when one company raises the price of its product, most people will take the step of boycotting it, and this will make the company reduce the price again. On the other hand, reducing the number of flights will affect the economy. It is possible to say that most sectors depend on travel, such as tourism, services, , etc. For instance, Jordan is a historical country and its economy depends heavily on tourism; when people stop flying, this will cause significant losses in the economy. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that the environment is not private property and it is a matter for all people in the whole world; we should do our best to protect and preserve it.

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Overall Band Score

5.5

Overview

Vocabulary Range

average

Linking Words

average

Spelling

strong

Grammar Accuracy

average

Grammar Range

average

Cohesion

average

Paragraph Structure

strong

Task Response

average

Word Count

insufficient

While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Response: The essay addresses both views but is underlength at 234 words (minimum 250), which will result in a penalty. Ideas are relevant but underdeveloped; the analogy regarding boycotting prices is confusing and does not clearly link to airline innovation. The conclusion introduces a new philosophical point rather than summarizing the specific balance of benefits vs. disadvantages.

Coherence & Cohesion: The structure is logical (intro, two body paragraphs, conclusion) and linking words are used (On one hand, For instance, In conclusion). However, paragraphing could be stronger; the first body paragraph mixes environmental benefits with airline reactions without clear topic sentences.

Lexical Resource: Vocabulary is adequate (commercial airlines, significant losses, preserve) but contains errors: "affecting on the environment" (no preposition), "figure solutions" (find/develop), "take the step of boycotting" (wordy). Repetition of "reduce the number of flights/times they fly" shows limited range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted. Errors include article usage ("a historical country"), punctuation ("services ,etc"), and awkward phrasing ("it is a matter for all people in the whole world"). The conditional structure in paragraph two ("when people stop flying, this will cause") is acceptable.

Key Action: Write at least 250 words. Develop arguments with specific explanations rather than analogies. Proofread for prepositions (affect the environment) and collocations (develop solutions).