Writing evaluation result for: Some people say that history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people... - Balang

Question: Some people say that history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people th...

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It is argued among some people that history is one of the most important topics in school. There are also others that assume science and technology are more significant than history nowadays. This essay discusses both views before stating the writer’s opinion. There are several reasons for why some people value history this much. History represents the lives of ancestors, including hardships, challenges and stories. Studying these experiences enables students to avoid repeating mistakes and make better decisions. It also leads to better decisions in terms of strategic concepts such as wars, and more conventional tasks, such as human interactions and regulating emotions. For example, studying the causes of World Wars helps students understand the main relevant causes. Furthermore, history is capable of teaching students what career path they should choose by introducing stories about diligent scientists and researchers in different eras. On the contrary, the reason why another group values science and technology more than history, is probably because they assume there is more useful content in order to improve different aspects of life. The tremendous benefits of science and technology can not cannot be denied because these two are presumably the radical foundations of every single invention and discovery, such as medications for diseases, car industry, aerospace, artificial intelligence and many more. They nourish each other, with scientific discoveries often leadleading to technological developments. While it is true that science and technology are invaluable, I personally believe that they can not cannot be separated from history. One important reason is that history is the gist of former generations, and it not only teaches us how to deal with life, but also improves our reactions in vital aspects. The absence of history can cause serious issues such as lack of motivation mainly because there would be a lack of knowledge in certain cases. Forgetting the cultural and moral value of a particular gathering or connection could also be possible. In conclusion, I personally believe that history should not be dragged out from the school curriculum because of its significant impacts.

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Overall Band Score

7.5

Overview

Vocabulary Range

average

Linking Words

average

Spelling

strong

Grammar Accuracy

average

Grammar Range

average

Cohesion

average

Paragraph Structure

average

Task Response

strong

Word Count

sufficient

While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Response: You address both views and state a clear opinion. However, the first body paragraph lacks focus; the point about history guiding career choices is underdeveloped and slightly irrelevant. The second body paragraph lists examples of science/technology benefits but doesn't deeply analyze why they are prioritized in today's world (e.g., economic competitiveness, solving climate change). Your opinion paragraph introduces new arguments rather than synthesizing the previous discussion.

Coherence & Cohesion: The structure is logical (Intro, View 1, View 2, Opinion, Conclusion). Linking words are used (Furthermore, On the contrary, While), but some are mechanical or inaccurate ("On the contrary" contrasts ideas, not just a second view; "gist" is misused). Paragraphing is adequate.

Lexical Resource: You use some good collocations (radical foundations, nourish each other, dragged out), but there are errors in word choice/formation: "assume... useful content" (missing noun), "can not" (standard: cannot), "gist" (means essence/summary, not 'record/legacy'), "particular gathering" (vague).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: You attempt complex structures (passive, relative clauses, conditionals). However, errors persist: subject-verb agreement ("discoveries often lead" – should be lead or led; "science and technology... can not be denied because these two are..." – pronoun reference clumsy), articles ("the car industry"), and punctuation (comma splices).

Key Advice: Develop one main idea per body paragraph with a clear example. Avoid introducing new arguments in the opinion paragraph. Proofread for word choice (gist, assume) and subject-verb agreement.