Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
This passage is to discuss that in some people's point of view advertising has so many benefits to give motivation to individuals to purchasingpurchase things. While, others thingthink it is so ordinary that nobody is no longer attracted to advertising. In my opinion, advertising can always can make people to think about buying your product. Speaking of advertising, it depandsdepends on so many things. First of all, it depandsdepends on what products do you sell,; in fact, your products illustratesillustrate what kind of people are going to be your costumerscustomers. Nevertheless, it can put you in a hot watterwater. For example, if you sell some stufsstuff that areis associated towith either cars or machines, you can not selling cannot sell this to households. So, with the aim of having a successful advertising, you have to depict your products in some kind of car exhibitions. Secondly, not only ismust it must be interesting, but also, it must also elaborate on your products as well as what they are; however, discribingdescribing needs an aroma of knowlagesknowledge and researchsresearch. As a side note, we can see a lot of advertising on the internet or television,; if we focus on details, we can see most of them are made with dramatic paintspaint that can motivate viewerviewers to purchasingpurchase their peoductsproducts such as Coca cola-Cola. FinalyFinally, it is noticeable that advertising costs money a lot of money, and inat some points, wasteful spending on it can lead you to belly up, so spending money in order to have good repercosionsrepercussions is notable. For instance, had iI had a clothing business, iI would have spent around 40% of my income on advertising, and iI would have been aware of spending neightherneither top dollar nor worthless advertising. In sum upsummary, although iI entirely agree with people thatwho are saying about the advantages of advertising in order to sellingsell things, iI partly agree with the others who say it has no longer paypays attention.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
This passage is to discuss that in some people's point of view advertising has so many benefits to give motivation to individuals to purchasing things. While, others thing it is so ordinary that nobody is no longer attracted to advertising. In my opinion, advertising always can make people to think about buying your product.
This passage discusses the differing perspectives on advertising. Some people believe that advertising provides significant motivation for individuals to purchase products, while others argue that it has become so commonplace that it no longer attracts attention. In my opinion, advertising can indeed prompt people to consider buying a product.
Speaking of advertising, it depands on so many things. First of all, it depands on what products do you sell, in fact, your products illustrates what kind of people are going to be your costumers.Nevertheless, it can put you in a hot watter. For example, if you sell some stufs that are associated to either cars or machines, you can not selling this to households. So, with the aim of having a successful advertising, you have to depict your products in some kind of car exhibitions.
When it comes to advertising, several factors come into play. First of all, it depends on the type of products you sell; in fact, your products illustrate what kind of customers you are likely to attract. Nevertheless, advertising can also put you in a difficult position. For example, if you sell items related to cars or machinery, you cannot market these to households. Therefore, to achieve successful advertising, you must showcase your products at relevant events, such as car exhibitions.
Secondly, not only is it must be interesting, but also, it must elaborate your products as well as what they are; however, discribing needs aroma of knowlages and researchs. As a side note, we can see a lot of advertising on the internet or television, if we focus on details, we can see most of them are made with dramatic paints that can motivate viewer to purchasing their peoducts such as Coca cola.
Secondly, advertising must not only be interesting but also effectively communicate the features and benefits of your products. However, this requires a depth of knowledge and research. As a side note, we can observe a plethora of advertisements on the internet and television. If we pay attention to the details, we can see that many of them are crafted with dramatic visuals designed to motivate viewers to purchase their products, such as Coca-Cola.
Finaly, it is noticeable that advertising costs money a lot and in some points wasteful spending on it can lead you to belly up, so spending money in order to have good repercosions is notable. For instance, had i had a clothing business, i would have spent around 40% of my income on advertising and i would have been aware of spending neighther top dollar nor worthless advertising.
Finally, it is important to note that advertising can be quite costly, and excessive spending on it can lead to financial difficulties. Therefore, investing money wisely to achieve positive outcomes is crucial. For instance, if I owned a clothing business, I would allocate around 40% of my income to advertising while being mindful not to overspend on either high-priced or ineffective advertising.
In sum up, although i entirely agree with people that are saying about advantages of advertising in order to selling things, i partly agree with the others who say it has no longer pay attention.
In conclusion, while I fully agree with those who highlight the advantages of advertising in promoting sales, I also partially agree with those who believe it no longer captures attention.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
4.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
Loading
Linking Words
Loading
Spelling
Loading
Grammar Accuracy
Loading
Grammar Range
Loading
Cohesion
Loading
Paragraph Structure
Loading
Task Response
Loading
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback

Task Response

  • Addressing the Prompt: The essay addresses both views regarding the effectiveness of advertising, which is a positive aspect. However, the discussion could be more balanced. The essay leans more towards supporting the effectiveness of advertising without equally exploring the opposing view.
  • Development of Ideas: The ideas presented are relevant but could be developed further. For instance, the essay could include more examples or evidence to support the claim that advertising is effective or ineffective.
  • Conclusion: The conclusion is present but could be more definitive. It should clearly summarize the main points discussed and provide a strong final opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is good. However, the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the type of products to the cost of advertising is abrupt.
  • Cohesion: Use of cohesive devices (e.g., "first of all," "secondly," "for example") is noted, but they could be used more effectively to enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat limited. There are some errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., "depands" should be "depends," "stufs" should be "stuff," "discribing" should be "describing").
  • Variety: Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that need attention (e.g., "it depands on what products do you sell" should be "it depends on what products you sell").
  • Punctuation and Capitalization: There are issues with punctuation and capitalization (e.g., "Finaly" should be "Finally," "i" should be "I").
  • Verb Tense and Agreement: Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of tenses (e.g., "advertising always can make people to think" should be "advertising can always make people think").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Balance the Discussion: Provide a more balanced discussion by equally exploring both views with supporting examples or evidence.
  2. Enhance Coherence: Improve the flow of the essay by using more effective transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
  3. Expand Vocabulary: Work on expanding your vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and accurately.
  4. Proofread for Errors: Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors.

By addressing these areas, the essay can be improved to better meet the IELTS writing criteria.